Applause and Feedback

Cal:  From one cliffhanger to the next?  And the plot twists and twists?  Thanks for keeping us entertained, and waiting for more.

Nightwalker - Hmmm, very interesting - Kid on the good side and Heyes on the bad side.  I do like the dilema and the solution.  A job that might be hard on the back for Heyes...I don’t know.

RosieAnne - $5 for a luxury room - oh the horror!  Nice to know Heyes and Kid have a couple of bucks to get off the ground for the night.  Ah, Sister Grace.  Nicely done reunion and very true to the characters.  


 Chelseagirl- its a stand alone story at this time.  Laurie is character from my Small Falls Series.

Stormr, so it is connected to a series -- that's what I was wondering.  I know not everyone knows my Blue Sky stories, either . . . especially as I took an eighteen year break in there.  ;-)

Responses to Comments...
Nebraska Wildfire:
I appreciate the comment. :) Heyes does have a silver tongue but sometimes it backfires. Glad you like Lydia’s character!  Every saloon girl has a story.


Nightwalker:
I don’t know why they don’t just stay together outside of fleeing from posses. Lydia will hopefully learn to watch what she says…

Cal
Another cliffhanger!  The tension is aplenty and palpable.  Wondering what surprise the Governor has for the boys.  Hope the next prompt gives us more.

Riders
The reunion of Heyes and Curry is perfect!  Love that Wheat had previously met Curry and fun they're in awe of him even at that early stage.  Really like this line:  Heyes had joined Big Jim about ten months earlier, and had to admit Big Jim seemed to run a gang better than the others he had experienced in his short life, but still these were not men who lived calm, sedate lives and their leisure time reflected this.

Nightwalker
This is an interesting AU perspective on amnesty and the boys' reunion, but once again it's Kid with the idea.  Love this line:  Time seemed to stretch as if the whole world would hold its breath.   

RosieAnnie
Nice reunion of Curry and Sister Grace.  They still seem to have feelings for each other although the odds were and remain long they'd have any kind of future.  I like the boys' contrast of reactions to the hotel suite and all its amenities.  Fun!

Elleree
There's a good set-up here to the longer story.  Great description of the saloon; we can smell as well as see it -- The sawdust was littered with cigar butts as well as vomit, stale beer, and tobacco juice. He could smell all of the above, piss, and horse dung. Also love the line about "the air of menace or halitosis" that was noted earlier.  Looking forward to the continuation.

Nebraska Wildfire
I don't recall the earlier parts of this story very well so will have to look them up to get a real feel of how the conclusion flows from the rest of it.  At the very least, it sounds like a happy ending.

Finishing up September ...


Chelseagirl
Well written and intriguing piece.  I'm not familiar with the series so not sure where this fits into the whole and will have to search it out. And yes, I'd find it a lot more fun to write than the professional piece you mentioned!

Moulin
Quite the surprise for Heyes and Mary!  But it's right in keeping with Susan as their Bohemian wild child.  I'm sure the new grandparents will have fun with the new member of the family once they get used to the idea, and presume it will spawn a whole set of other adventures.

Storm
You know how much I like this.  Glad all the DHG got amnesty and it's inspired for Devil's Hole to become a tourist destination so they can support themselves on the right side of the law.  Heyes and Curry might have gotten a little soft, but once out on the trail they fell easily into the old patterns.   Here, perhaps familiarity breeds contentment.

Inside Outlaw
Exciting start!  Things go so wrong when they separate.  Good thing Curry is on the way because Heyes is in one huge mess.  As usual, your knowledge of horses and the Western countryside shows so well here in all the little details.  Looking forward to the continuation.

Cal:  Oh, I wish people would stop playing with our boys.  This is just going to get ugly no matter how it turns out.  Poor Lom, stuck in the middle.  I don't want them to spend even one night in prison, just too satisfy someones ego.  

Nebraska Wildfire:  What a great story.  With a little misdirection, Heyes' gets Angus to believe what He told him about how much 'wrong' nitro to use and disbelieve the corrected amount.  I am glad that Heyes felt just a little bit bad about doing it, but he was protecting all of them.

Elleree:  Wow! from the git go and it does not stop.  I agree with Heyes, why does the Kid get chatty when he needs to be quiet, but then he had his reasons, deflect the attention from Heyes to himself.  These bounty hunters do not know what is coming, i am looking forward to it whatever it is.

Remuda:  You give us such thoughtful stories.  Doing work, hard on the back, brings up memories of being on the farm and for Kid, home cooked meals.  I don't think they would have grown up to be farmers even if the raiders hadn't come that day.

Nebraska Wildfire:  This was a dark but very interesting story.  We like to think of our heroes as good men who went astray but we can't forget that they were infamous outlaws who survived by their wits and a judicious use of implied violence.  How cleverly Heyes manipulated McCord in order to protect his family but he has a conscience about the consequences and he will suffer for his actions, one way or another. Excellent story.

Nightwalker: You've given me a lot to think about here.  I like the idea Kid is pondering his similarities to Bilson and wondering how he might've ended up if things had gone just a little bit differently for him.  You also raised an interesting point about Heyes' anxiety over the gunfight.  Sad to think he might've been carrying the guilt of killing himself, but not been capable of sharing it with his partner.

InsideOutlaw: Thanks for such an excellent continuation of your story. I really liked how you portrayed Heyes’ stubborn determination to keep going. It made me cringe to think of him dealing with his wound on his own. As always there is such a sense of action and motion forward with your stories. And I always learn something. I knew about willow bark of course, but not those uses for chokecherries and skunk cabbage.

Nightwalker: What a unique storyline. Danny Bilson married, huh? To someone the Kid seems to admire? There is more of this story? I’m intrigued and would love to read more, in spite of what you are hinting at about Heyes. A dark story, but in some way the Kid is finding a light and way out?

Nebraska Wildfire’s comment about Heyes’ use of herbs in my story made me realize I need to clarify: what is commonly called Skunk Cabbage in Colorado is also called Corn Lily. It is not the same plant as Eastern Skunk Cabbage and has different medicinal uses.

Elleree: Geez....the Kid's badly hurt and Heyes is out for revenge; there're very bad "good" guys, and a man caught in the middle.  AND you stop here?  You're killin' me!

Remuda: It's sad to think of how far they've strayed and you've subtly illustrated that distance here.  They rejected that life a long time ago and now they've come full circle to realize what they've lost.

Elleree: I think I was as surprised as much as Heyes was when he hit the water. And then the Kid shot?! But his first thought is of Heyes. That echos true.
“Kid lay there in a considerable pool of his own blood, but it wasn’t the blood loss or the night air that made him shudder. He dimly heard himself ask, “Escaped?” Very descriptive and evocative.

My favorite though were the last lines:
“They thought Hannibal Heyes was dead and most of them were getting ready to bed down for the night. They had no idea what was coming.
Yeah, Kid Curry could be dangerous. But a worried Hannibal Heyes out to rescue his injured partner and get revenge? Well, he could be downright deadly.” Perfect.

Remuda: This piece contains so many echos of family. At first I though we were in an alternate universe where they had become farmers, and not outlaws. Excellent sense of time and place as always.

I thought I posted these! I definitely wrote them out... But I didn’t see comments for your stories on the page so I suppose I somehow managed not to sent the post. Anyway if you already read these and I just missed them on the applause and feedback post,  think of them as extra comments. Heh.


Cal: 
I love this story and the way you keep increasing the tension. I really don’t like either governor and I feel sorry for Lom and how he got convinced into this mess. Love the cliffhanger ending with Heyes pointing a gun at Lom! (Where’s Kid? Hopefully not still in prison…) I hope you keep continuing!


Nebraska Wildfire:  
Angus is an excellent bad guy. This story was really great at evoking the world of ASJ. I could see the scene unfolding and I love how real it all feels. Also a big fan of their non-verbal communication which you demonstrate when Kid sees Heyes’ face and then spots McCord. Heyes’ solution was great and I love, love that Kid caught Heyes’ trick. He knows him too well. I'm also glad that marriage and settling down didn't change the two's partnership. Lovely story.


Inside Outlaw: 
I am so glad you kept this going! Poor Heyes—that foot sounds awful. He needs help pronto! Go Kid, evenif you didn't have breakfast! I did wibble a little at Dickie’s death, but I do not feel bad for his master. (I cried in Dancing with Wolves when the animals died, not the people. *Bad person*) You always have the best details of the west and I enjoyed the herbal remedies as well. I loved Heyes getting the lock pick and enticing his horse scenes. (Pepeprmints are excellent horse bribing tools, I agree.)  Oh Kid, hurry up!


Nightwalker:
Oh Kid, you need Heyes around to straighten you out! He isn’t like Danny at all. I am with the others and will blatantly ignore hints about Heyes… It makes sense that Kid’s thoughts keep circling back to Heyes (even thought Heyes has been…delayed at the dentist’s office or something equally inane) and I loved kid’s introspection. Very good piece.


Remuda:
Love the setting for this and how it hearkens back to their childhood. It was nice how though the story was a tad bittersweet, it still was mainly a warm sort of nostalgia. Great that you ended with the partner’s bantering. The Kid recollecting their family was sad but I think you’ve done a great job with pointing out they still have each other as family…and of course ‘Uncle’ Mac. I want them to go get that siesta!

Oh and I realized I neglected to do a comment before my Revenge story explaining that the story I posted is not a continuation of "Lock Smith" from the month before. I'm sorry about the confusion! 

I intended on posting chapter two of Lock Smith on both this site and the other ASJ forum buuuut I started this story in the middle of the night by accident aaaand it fit the theme better. 

I'm going to put Lock Smith on fan-fiction so all can see it. 

Sorry!

Cal – Moonlight is really someone to dislike.

“He was a menace!” – true
He’s a schemer as worse as Heyes, at last he has no good intentions.

Poor Lom, maneuvered out and left in a bad light for his friends. Giving amnesty to Clitterhouse and Powers instead!? No go!

Very good cliffhanger at the end. I hope you’ll don’t hang too long.

Nebraska Wildfire – Nice story. It’s good to hear, that the townsfolk accepted the ex-outlaws the way they are. Like it, that the friends of the boys look them up now and then, even if the current visitor isn’t very welcome. Heyes choose a hard way to get rid of them, but I can certainly see him act that way.

InsideOutlaw – I like your story very much. It starts with a full action scene and you caught me immediately. You sure had me with a badly hurt Heyes all on his own anyway. I’m so glad, the Kid is already on his way. I really hope all will be well in the end. Especially I like the depth of the details in your story, whether it is the wound treatment, the pretty authentic behavior of the horse or the insight into Mac’s thoughts.

Elleree – You captured the Heyes and Curry worrying about each other very well. That’s a pretty bad bunch of bounty hunter you set on the trail of the boys this time. It’s a very interesting family, too. One of them trying for outlawing besides his ancestry and the returning to the family business when he fails. Another of them is suffering by scruples – not where he inherited this. I’m not sure why they stick together after all. Maybe it all was much easier, when the bad boys they caught where really bad boys. The last paragraph gives a bad idea of the bounty hunters’ future.

“Yeah, Kid Curry could be dangerous. But a worried Hannibal Heyes out to rescue his injured partner and get revenge? Well, he could be downright deadly.“
Sure true. I’m looking forward to read the continuation.

Remuda – Another nice little story. I like Jed Curry reminiscent of their past.

“You look deep in thought. That can’t be good.”
Poor Kid, but so Heyes!

Please pardon me for not commenting this month. Things have  been a little challenging here in the big city, and I have not even had a chance to read your stories. You are all wonderful for contributing and keeping the spirit of AS&J alive and well. I hope to catch up with you soon.

RosieAnnieUSA: Here’s hoping your life settles down soon, so you can join back in the fun, enjoying the boys with the rest of us. Work has been challenging for me lately, so I’m going to snuggle up and watch an episode tonight.

Nightwalker:  What a fun read.  At first, I wondered if Heyes was dreaming, maybe it was better than a dream to him.

RosieAnnie:  I liked Seth Green.  I liked the way he tried to get Mrs. Griswold see that they needed to take care of these boys were in need of being cared about and not just given a list of chore and studies to do, then being punished it they messed up and be happy about it.  Then treating Heyes as the intelligent young man he was becoming with respect.  Well done.

InsideOutlaw:  I am liken this story.  I cannot even imagine how badly Heyes foot must hurt, then too have take care of it, pulling things out and pushing things back in, makes my stomach turn.  I hope Kid shows up real soon.  I would not want to be Mac right about now.

Nighwalker: You make me wish I was a Pierce and Hamilton 1874.   

Inside Outlaw: One big takeaway I get from this story is, how focused and persistent Heyes is, despite his debilitating injury. When I'm hurt or sick, finding a new position on the couch is about all I do. Of course, Heyes is in desperate trouble. I'm thinking, too, about that bad water. I remember reading a story, some years ago, where Heyes caught typhoid fever. He survived, happily. But bad water was a real and present danger in the 1880's. You also display a economy of words that amply display a mood. Best example; Murderous blue eyes glared back at him promising to snip the fragile thread anchoring Mac’s soul to his body.

Nightwalker:  To paraphrase RosieAnnie: "oh, to be a P & H '74!!  This was such a fun story and your misdirection was done so skillfully.  Thank you for a great laugh at the end.

RosieAnnie:  I loved seeing Seth Green try to get through to his obtuse teacher and her inability to understand his reasoning.  Miss Griswold was so sure she was correct and couldn't see that she was behaving less than charitably towards a child.  So much for her ethics.  Seth, on the other hand, was a compassionate man before his time.  Too bad Heyes didn't learn more from him.

Nightwalker:
Cleverly done! I know a lot of ladies who would gladly switch places with that safe. You did that so deftly. Excellent job!

Rosie Annie:
I really enjoy this story. I felt so terribly for Heyes (and Jed, even if we don’t see him) and I truly liked Seth. You have a gift for displaying character. I wonder how Jed did on his next math exam… I also wonder what happened to Seth because I’m sure things would’ve changed had he stayed around.


Inside Outlaw:
Poor, poor Heyes and clever Kid! I was so glad Kid finally has the drop on Mac. I can’t wait to see Heyes and Kid reunited and for poor Heyes to get taken care of. I also hope that the amnesty deal can be fixed but Heyes’ health is much more important. And Kid will agree with that, even if Heyes won’t forgive himself.