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 Applause and Feedback

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InsideOutlaw

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Age : 62
Location : Colorado

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 01, 2018 4:55 pm

Cal: I think I would've jumped to the same conclusion our heroes did but probably not as efficiently.  How awful of the Governor to play on their fears like that and I'm still not altogether sure he means well.  Will there be more?


Riders57:  Good depiction of how Heyes and the Kid reunited.  I remember the earlier story of Wheat's encounter with the Kid and it led nicely to this tale.  It rang true to me that Heyes would feel a member of the gang in name only and would know that he was different, not quite a good fit with the rest of the gang, save Big Jim.  Luckily for him, his cousin's timing was impeccable even at an early age.  The contrast between the Kid Curry Wheat described to Jim and the Kid Curry overjoyed to see his childhood friend was subtly done.


Nightwalker:  Whoa, that would be a dilemma!  Excellent AU story with the characters still remaining true to their natures as displayed in the series.  Both of them loyal to each other but determined to get their way.  The Kid's solution brings it back around to an amnesty quest but I am left wondering how Heyes will fare on his own.  Loved this line:  "warm and amiable like a campfire at night."


 RosieAnnie: I could just imagine our heroes horror upon learning the temperance ladies were out and about.  Of course, Sister Grace has found her niche with a group of do-gooders but she still appears to harbor lust in her heart for Kid Curry, LOL.  Thanks for letting them stay two ships that pass in the night.  Plus, we actually get to see our boys have a comfortable hotel suite for a change!


Elleree: Boy, Heyes' tall tale about his background in 'locksmithing' is going to cost him dearly!  I'm looking forward to seeing how he wriggles out of this one.


Nebraska Wildfire:  Okay, I admit it.  I brushed a few tears away through this one.  Both women are strong, independent single mothers capable of raising their children with love and care despite being left on their own and it was satisfying to see they got their happy ending.  The whole story was beautifully written but especially all the characters and the undercurrents of emotions.


Chelseagirl:  It only makes sense that our heroes might've sired a few children in their travels and Jonathan was clearly Heyes'.  The man is lucky he has a solid marriage and his wife is a realist, but Adelaide appears to be another story.  One I'm going to go read as I am now intrigue by the delusion she is under. 


 MoulinP: Poor Heyes is certainly put through the wringer by his impetuous daughter!  I guess he knows now how his own parents felt. She appears to be an expert at getting her own way.  I wonder from whom she learned?  Alfie is a nice addition, too, and he already seems to be learning her skills.  Fun story.  The image of Heyes in his study glaring at that statue is going to stay with me for awhile.

StormR: It was fun to see all of the gang moving on with their lives and what a perfect future for Wheat, the blustery tour guide of Devil's Hole! 

Remuda:  Lobo is a character who doesn't get much attention in fanfiction so it was fun to see him lead this story.  You gave him quite the backstory, too.  And a wife, er, ex-wife, who is clearly not quite over him.  

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“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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RosieAnnieUSA

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Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 01, 2018 7:24 pm

Finishing up with September. By the way, congratulations to whoever suggested Reunion as the prompt for this month. What a great bunch of stories!

Moulin P:  Poor Heyes! Just when he was enjoying being an empty nester, and suddenly, his nest is full. I love the scene between Heyes and Curry. Leave it to an old friend, who knows you well, to bring a note of humor and perspective.

StormR: I do like the idea of turning Devil's Hole into a kind of outlaw dude ranch. And, of course, the rest of the gang members all knew Heyes and Curry well enough to expect them to show up early. 

Inside Outlaw: Some tough stuff here, IO, but what else would a smart and brutal bounty hunter do? Good to see that Curry is on his way, but it sounds like Heyes needs help, fast. Finish this story, please!

Remuda: Thank you for this glimpse into the life of a gang member that everyone seems to have mentioned, but no one has gotten to know. It'd be interesting if more people would do back stories for some of the minor characters. They all come from somewhere, and they all have stories. It's good to hear Lobo's. He's more than a big mustache.
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Oct 02, 2018 2:03 pm

finishing up September:

Elleree:  There's some excellent writing there.  I particularly liked "couldn't decide whether the air of menace or halitosis they exuded was worse."  Ah, you're leaving us with a cliff hanger -- I hope you complete if for the October challenge.

NebraskaWildlife:  As you stated, this is obviously a piece from a larger episode that I'll have to go back and read.  It's an interesting conclusion, but it leaves me wondering why the boys were with Wheat and Kyle and also how many years have passed.  The hospital set up seems pretty sophisticated for the West of that general time period.  Perhaps when I read the rest, my questions will be answered.

Chelseagirl:  It's an interesting snippet and I look forward to its continuance.  I liked the phrase:  "He'd liked to imagine himself as the outsider, the outlaw driven to do wrong by the wrongs society had done to him.  Years later, when his wife had introduced him to the writings of Lord Byron, he saw his youthful self-delusions echoed in the herose of the man's poetry."  During the series, they seemed to have pretty much accepted who they were without imbuing it with heroic self-imagry, but I could see Heyes indulging in such fantasies at an earlier age, and many certainly may have viewed him as a Byronic hero, why shouldn't he have done the same.

MoulinP:  This is an interesting reunion.  Unfortunately, I'm not familiar with your universe, but Susan sounds like a terror that could be amusing to read about further.  You do need to write more about Alfie.  I also wondered why Curry was in the saloon so early (does he own it perhaps or is that another story to be written).

Stormr:  Great to have a piece from you.  I enjoyed Heyes' attachment to his decrepit hat and speculation that it was based on shared memories.  Isn't that what makes all our momentos precious to us alone?  A great reunion and a great idea.  I like that the gang knew them well enough to get there even earlier in order to surprise them.

InsideOutlaw:  You set the scene so vividly.  Yes, why does everything go wrong when they split up?  Please do finish this -- you have promised to continue.

Remuda:  The wire dodger is back.  Some great writing here.  "the co-leaders of the outfit more bosses than anything else."  It's an interesting look at Lobo.  They're right some things never change for a character whose existence is encapsulated in just a few brief TV episodes.  You brought considerable depth to this minor character in a compelling manner.
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Stormr

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Oct 02, 2018 2:52 pm

Cal - tension, anxiety, suspense....and.......... waiting for the cliffhanger to be resolved.

Riders -  Ah getting Kid and Heyes back together - perfect reunion.  Kid with the (almost) perfect timing and Heyes just talking away.  Liked how Heyes measured what he told Big Jim and Wheat as well as the description of all the relationships. 
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Reunion   Thu Oct 04, 2018 12:22 am

Catching up on all the lovely stories this month.

Nighwalker  I never like to see the boys separated but I like the premise of this alternate universe story, with Heyes the outlaw and Kid the law.  My favorite lines:
“There was no resemblance between them, there never had been. One as bright as the day, the other as dark as the night. One inside, one outside the law. Two sides of the same coin.
A few minutes went by before they simultaneously moved to hug each other.”
I also like the solution at the end with Heyes going for amnesty.  A great story with refreshingly different plot.

RosieAnnieUSA:  I loved seeing Sister Grace again.  She was a different love interest for the Kid, and in your story still remains one he never gains.  It rings true to her and to him.  I don’t think she could have been frivolous enough to get involved with Kid Curry.  I do see her getting involved with the temperance movement, in her oh so serious way.  I do like Heyes being annoyed at paying $5 for a room.  Oh, how they have come down in the world.

Elleree:  Heyes sure can get himself in trouble with some of his tales, can’t he?  I like the character of Lydia, with her own history, not just another non-descript saloon girl, even if she’s not overly helpful to Heyes.  You set the scene perfectly with the very realistic saloon scene.  

Chelseagirl:  Such an interesting plot.  As much as the boys got around, it would not be surprising that there were offspring somewhere, even if they and their partners were doing their best to avoid that.  And even more interesting, the reaction and results if one of those children showed up once they were settled and happy in a new life.  Jonathan seems like a nice young man, perhaps what Heyes might have been in other circumstance?  And Heyes true to character as always.

MoulinP:  Wonderful to see Susan again, and Mary and Heyes’ reaction to her sweeping into their life.  Maybe turn about is fair play?  How many times would Heyes have swept into a room and caused even more ruckus, as a youngster and older?  Must be enjoying his settled life now.

Stormr:  I loved the way you started out this story, the atmosphere so soft and relaxed, indicative of the boys’ new life.  Maybe getting soft isn’t a bad thing?  And Devil’s Hole as a dude ranch?  It is nice that the boys all ended up with decent lives.  I like to see a happy ending.

InsideOutlaw:  Perfect description as always, to set the scene, little things all together to paint the picture, grasshoppers, wildflowers, the sun on Heyes’ neck.  Then I was swept into the story and action of Heyes’ being captured.  My favorite line, “The lengthening shadows foretold dusk’s arrival but Heyes hardly noticed.”

Remuda:  Such an interesting background for Lobo and Mae, totally believable, totally engrossing.  Definitely a new, fresh storyline.
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Nightwalker



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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Oct 04, 2018 10:37 am

RosieAnnie: What a beautiful story. The boys one day early and so just in time, receiving a little bit of luxury that they surely wouldn’t have paid when they had another chance.
You captured the boys so well.
“Fine.” Heyes went to get his saddlebags. “At least I can rely on you to get our money’s worth at breakfast.”
Wonderful :-)
I really can imagine the Kid watching the singers. He would be curious, wouldn’t he? And maybe he was already with his thoughts by a special woman he once got to know, before he turned around and met her again: Sister Grace. She’s such a beautiful character and you caught her very well.

Elleree: Why do the boys never learn that splitting up it isn’t a good idea? It never does any good to them. The poor girl might have to pay a high price for her careless chattering. It’s very easy to dislike the bad guys, their do their job very well.

Cal: I always like it when the boys are on the “wrong” side of the law or has it to be “right” – let’s agree to “the unexpected” ;-)
You went even a step further and brought them right to the place they never wanted to be. Scary feeling for me and for the boys, too. You captured that very well. Heyes and the Kid act so naturally together how unexpected the situation may be. You caught their remarkable partnership very well.
 
Riders57: I really loved your story. A lonely Heyes as youngest member of the Devil’s Hole gang, careless and calling for trouble...and reading about his cousin in dime novels - beautiful.
It was nice to hear more about Big Jim, he’s a character I would have liked to see more often. He had a good eye for his men and knew how to handle them.
I like the way you pictured the relationship between Wheat and Heyes. And I like also your version of their previous life and the way you captured the two main characters. Really a beautiful reunion!
 
MoulinP: Mayor Heyes? Yes! I can definitely see him there in the townhall and marveling the modern technical achievements. He’s one who really would appreciate them. It’s easy to imagine him as one who get things done – one way or the other. It is good to see he is doing very well since the amnesty finally came through. Can you think of any reason why he deserves a daughter like Susan? Oh yes ... one or two or even more ;-)

StormR: It’s nice to know there’s such a good future awaiting Heyes and Curry. I really liked it that they kept their trademarks and hit the road together after all this time. Their bantering about the coffee came so easy together with other reminders of their past. Beautiful. A pretty nice reunion at Devil’s Hole. It’s good to know that there’s a good future for all of them.

InsideOutlaw: Your story conjured wonderful pictures in my mind. They getting darker by the time, but I’m one to appreciate that. What else could have happen when the boys split up again? But this time it seems to be even worse than usual. You put Heyes in an almost hopeless situation. Thank god, there’s Kid on his way to save him. I’m just hoping he will catch up soon enough to save the day – for Heyes and for both of them.

Remuda: Another nice story. I really enjoyed it to learn more about Lobo. You gave him an unexpected background and made him an interesting character.
 
Nebraska Wildfire and Chelseagirl: I liked your stories, too, but I definitely have to catch up with their beginning.  Mea culpa... Embarassed
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Oct 04, 2018 3:10 pm

Cal: I like how you bookended this installment with Heyes' drawn Schofield.  What a crazy scheme Moonlight cooked up and I'm thinking Lom doesn't know the whole of it.  Now I'm worried about who else is in prison and what they'll do when they learn our heroes are there as well.  By your last line, I may have worried unnecessarily.  Looking forward to more.

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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Oct 04, 2018 9:23 pm

Cal:  From one cliffhanger to the next?  And the plot twists and twists?  Thanks for keeping us entertained, and waiting for more.
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Stormr

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Oct 05, 2018 1:27 pm

Nightwalker - Hmmm, very interesting - Kid on the good side and Heyes on the bad side.  I do like the dilema and the solution.  A job that might be hard on the back for Heyes...I don’t know.

RosieAnne - $5 for a luxury room - oh the horror!  Nice to know Heyes and Kid have a couple of bucks to get off the ground for the night.  Ah, Sister Grace.  Nicely done reunion and very true to the characters.  


 Chelseagirl- its a stand alone story at this time.  Laurie is character from my Small Falls Series.
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chelseagirl



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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Oct 05, 2018 1:41 pm

Stormr, so it is connected to a series -- that's what I was wondering.  I know not everyone knows my Blue Sky stories, either . . . especially as I took an eighteen year break in there.  ;-)
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elleree

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Oct 05, 2018 10:32 pm

Responses to Comments...
Nebraska Wildfire:
I appreciate the comment. :) Heyes does have a silver tongue but sometimes it backfires. Glad you like Lydia’s character!  Every saloon girl has a story.


Nightwalker:
I don’t know why they don’t just stay together outside of fleeing from posses. Lydia will hopefully learn to watch what she says…
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Remuda

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 08, 2018 12:37 am

Cal
Another cliffhanger!  The tension is aplenty and palpable.  Wondering what surprise the Governor has for the boys.  Hope the next prompt gives us more.

Riders
The reunion of Heyes and Curry is perfect!  Love that Wheat had previously met Curry and fun they're in awe of him even at that early stage.  Really like this line:  Heyes had joined Big Jim about ten months earlier, and had to admit Big Jim seemed to run a gang better than the others he had experienced in his short life, but still these were not men who lived calm, sedate lives and their leisure time reflected this.

Nightwalker
This is an interesting AU perspective on amnesty and the boys' reunion, but once again it's Kid with the idea.  Love this line:  Time seemed to stretch as if the whole world would hold its breath.   

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Remuda

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:06 pm

RosieAnnie
Nice reunion of Curry and Sister Grace.  They still seem to have feelings for each other although the odds were and remain long they'd have any kind of future.  I like the boys' contrast of reactions to the hotel suite and all its amenities.  Fun!

Elleree
There's a good set-up here to the longer story.  Great description of the saloon; we can smell as well as see it -- The sawdust was littered with cigar butts as well as vomit, stale beer, and tobacco juice. He could smell all of the above, piss, and horse dung. Also love the line about "the air of menace or halitosis" that was noted earlier.  Looking forward to the continuation.

Nebraska Wildfire

I don't recall the earlier parts of this story very well so will have to look them up to get a real feel of how the conclusion flows from the rest of it.  At the very least, it sounds like a happy ending.

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Remuda

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:40 am

Finishing up September ...


Chelseagirl
Well written and intriguing piece.  I'm not familiar with the series so not sure where this fits into the whole and will have to search it out. And yes, I'd find it a lot more fun to write than the professional piece you mentioned!

Moulin
Quite the surprise for Heyes and Mary!  But it's right in keeping with Susan as their Bohemian wild child.  I'm sure the new grandparents will have fun with the new member of the family once they get used to the idea, and presume it will spawn a whole set of other adventures.

Storm
You know how much I like this.  Glad all the DHG got amnesty and it's inspired for Devil's Hole to become a tourist destination so they can support themselves on the right side of the law.  Heyes and Curry might have gotten a little soft, but once out on the trail they fell easily into the old patterns.   Here, perhaps familiarity breeds contentment.

Inside Outlaw
Exciting start!  Things go so wrong when they separate.  Good thing Curry is on the way because Heyes is in one huge mess.  As usual, your knowledge of horses and the Western countryside shows so well here in all the little details.  Looking forward to the continuation.

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gin16



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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:29 pm

Cal:  Oh, I wish people would stop playing with our boys.  This is just going to get ugly no matter how it turns out.  Poor Lom, stuck in the middle.  I don't want them to spend even one night in prison, just too satisfy someones ego.  

Nebraska Wildfire:  What a great story.  With a little misdirection, Heyes' gets Angus to believe what He told him about how much 'wrong' nitro to use and disbelieve the corrected amount.  I am glad that Heyes felt just a little bit bad about doing it, but he was protecting all of them.
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