Applause and Feedback

Remuda – Love the sailor. He seems to be pretty excited for sure. How wouldn’t, given the opportunity for a game with our boys? It’s only for the Kid that the evening didn’t turn ugly. I’m glad he was there to keep an eye on things.

UK_rachel74 – I wouldn’t want to believe it: Heyes and Curry going after former gang members? That can’t mean anything but trouble. If the word spread their lives wouldn’t be worth one dime anymore. It’s inacceptable that the governor asked them for that kind of job. Does he want to get rid of the boys so nobody will ever learn about their deal? Does he regret that he offered them amnesty?


InsideOutlaw – Oh my, Wheat is happening again. That was about my first thought, but it was only a harmless discovery he made. At least it seemed so at first.
I love the way Kid Curry is always alert and assessing the situation even in a relative secure place. I can understand Heyes’s excitement when he gets the chance to check out that ultra-modern device, they found in such an unexpected place. It’s so easy to imagine his joyful face – at least for the short time it lasts. The second surprise – to learn who’s at the other end of the line – made him everything but happy.
I couldn’t believe it that he took it as a prompt to fall out with the mistress of the house. He knows her occupation, so what did he expect? I’m just glad he worked his magic again. He surely enjoys playing with dangerous things - whether it’s dynamite or women – and he knows very well how to handle both.
But the boys learned their lesson well and come to a most famous conclusion in the end.

March challenges:

Remuda: I like how you take us into the heart of the story in the first two lines; that the sailor doesn't know what he's doing, and Heyes is watching out for him. And trying to keep the peace, with other players who aren't quite as understanding or patient.

UK_rachel74: I sure hope this is the start to a longer story, because you've already drawn me in. Is their propensity for forgetting each other's alias going to be a plot point? More issues with the governor? Going after another gang can't be good. Like I said earlier - you've drawn me in. 

Inside Outlaw: As always, you pack a lot of story into a small space, and yet, nothing or nobody is shortchanged. Heyes goes from almost childish excitement to worry and concern pretty quick, as he realizes the implications of instant communication via telephone. Maisie's a handful, isn't she? But Heyes knows how to handle her mood changes. Interesting conclusion, with Heyes being the partner who chooses to go for amnesty.

UK_rachel74:  What a great read that was.  Heyes has a right to be very angry.  I think Kid needs to be angry also, it will help him recover.  Only problem with the story is:  it is way too short!

UK_rachel74:  What a great use of the prompt.  You would have thought the boys would have told off Lom long before they did, wouldn’t you?  Butch and Sundance didn’t even wait a day when their attempt at amnesty went awry.  I can see Heyes getting upset with the Kid hurt and finally making it over that ledge.  Of course we all wanted them to get amnesty, but was it ever more than a pipe dream?

UK_rachel74:  Wow, did that not tug at the heart.  How simple and touching.  Thank you.

Keays:  Revised:  How many roles did Heyes have in this story, 3.  The concerned brother buying presents for his sisters.  Himself when he returns to the hotel room he is the gang leader making sure everything is going according to plan, then inept employee who can't read and knows nothing about nitro.  Then at the end, the planner who of course has time to fit in a dalliance with an attractive woman before he robs the bank, what a guy.

Chelseagirl:  Of course you need to continue it!  Had me smiling and laughing from the beginning.  "Don't you even dare think what I know you are thinking?  of course she is right.  I think that they might find that they like Millicent just fine, Heyes already likes that she can make Ella snort out loud, which is most unlady like.

Nebraska Wildfire:  What is it about spectacles that make a person unattractive?  Our guys are not perfect.  They did seem to enjoy their the time they spent with the ladies as they passed their time before the robbery.  Liked Heyes coded message for Kyle to bring 'the good stuff', made him happy.  I really liked that Heyes sent money to Miss Morris to help her out with teaching, was it guilt or did he care enough to help her out?.

HannahHeyes:  Boy did I need a laugh today and you gave it to me.  Kid was so upset with Heyes, he couldn't even think straight.  I loved his rant at Heyes and Heyes had not a clue as to why.  I loved it.  Thank you.

Nice job Rachel. I was sad to see Heyes taking it out on Lom, but I can understand Heyes' fear and anger. When your scared like that, you take it out on the person most available, and since Heyes couldn't get to the governor, Lom it is. Nicely written.

UK_rachel74: Good story, and an excellent use of the prompt. I really could feel Heyes boiling with anger and frustration.

chelseagirl- really enjoyed this. Millicent is an interesting character! Also have now read your Ella stories on the strength of this and that is an added bonus for me. 
Keays- Nice story. Chamelion Heyes :)
Nebraska Wildfire: Fun story- loved Kid wanting Heyes to know he remembered the aliases. I liked your teacher.
Hanna Heyes- This was funny! Finally found someone with their own teeth. I really enjoyed this.

UK_rachel74:  Such a touching piece, with the Kid remembering and Heyes supporting him.

Keays:  Great story showing Heyes at his smooth talking best, as we all love him.

Chelseagirl:  Miss Millicent is a great character.  I’d love to see more of her.  I could see her really annoying Heyes.

HannaHeyes:  such a fun story!  Heyes getting himself in trouble and then smart enough to get himself out.  The Kid did need popcorn.

Rachel74:   This is such a sweet, thoughtful story.  You call it a wallow, but I think lines like this one raise it to another level:  “she was there in his mind, but always in shadow, as if she were frightened of his other darker, more recent memories, although in life, he remembered she had rarely been afraid of anything.”   I also really liked the way Heyes could sense when Curry had dreamed, and responded accordingly without having to say anything about it.
 
Keays:  There are so many “hers” in this one, it’s hard to know where to start.  I like seeing Heyes play so many different roles, and doing it so well!  The last "her" seems to be going somewhere potentially interesting – can I hope that, like mine this month also, it’s part of something longer?
 
Nebraska Wildfire:  Your story really had the feeling of an episode, if “Heyes and Curry: The Outlaw Years” had ever been a series.   It’s funny that we both had bespectacled “her”s;  Grace was an interesting character and I’d like to know more about her life teaching on the reservation even if Heyes never came back into her life.
 
Hanna Heyes:  This is hilarious!   Admittedly, I can’t see Heyes doing anything quite THIS stupid, but it’s funny as anything, and you have the interaction between the guys down perfectly.   Curry get to make such deserved fun of his partner, and he makes the most of his opportunity.  


And thank you all for cheering Millie on in her debut.  I set this one aside awhile ago, and I see a lot better where it's going to go now.  I have a pretty good idea who "Him" might be for next month.   It was really fun reading everyone's stories this month;  I need to remember to stop by more often, even when I'm not contributing myself!

Rachel74: What a lovely reminiscence. I expect both of them would have dreams like this and hopefully, they would bring comfort. Nice that Heyes recognizes the signs and is supportive. Love ". . . painting pictures with his voice . . ." That's a great line.


Chelseagirl: A lady lawyer! Oh my. ONe does tend to conjure up a visual image of what she's going to be like, right or wrong. I love the conversation between the two ladies. "You know--girl talk."!


Nebraska Wildfire: It must be a challenge for the fellas to come up with new aliases. Heyes seems to have fun with it though. How typical of guys to dismiss a woman based upon the opinion that ". . . she wasn't overly pretty." Sometimes, all a man has to do is take some time to chat and suddenly the plain woman becomes someone of interest. 


HannaHeyes: What a hoot! Kid really plays it for laughs in this one. Well, it's not often he has the genius at a disadvantage. Fun read.

Nightwalker:  I can understand how a girl could get lost in those blue, blue eyes and not bother to look further.  I can’t say I’d do that, but it ended up lucky for Heyes this time.  I loved his storytelling and choice of disguise.  We need another story with B. Cute.

Nightwalker:  I enjoyed your story a bunch.  Grace's description of the robber seemed right on to me.  Loved Heyes reaction being relegated to a 'sidekick', and I am quite sure that he does know a whole lot about ladies undergarments.

Chelseagirl:  What a great chapter.  I love that Millie sees something in Kyle and wants to help him, and to enlist Rita's help was so thoughtful, and she helped Rita to see that she could be more than a whore. Kid remembering how he was made to feel back at the home was touching.i

Remuda: I enjoyed this story a lot.  Jed did well with his word and I liked his explanation of why A was acceptable as a word.

UK_rachel74:  This is a good story.  I always liked Preacher and I like this backstory on him, very moving.

Stepha3nie:  What a wonderful story.  How moving, yes I agree Kid would want Heyes to be someplace safe and he knew that he would be there.  Welcome back to writing.  Very well done.

Nightwalker: Great descriptions, enjoyable story :) Poor Heyes relegated to sidekick. Sheriff Cute is a lot of fun.
Chelseagirl: Millie is a great character, so happy for Kyle :)
Remuda : such a sweet childhood glimpse. Enjoyed this.

Chelseagirl:  It was nice to see Millicent again and of course Kyle too.  It is nice to see him prosper also in the end.

Remuda:  A tale of Jed doing well in school, while still maybe in trouble, seems very much in character.  A lovely tale.

uk_rachel74:  So much story in so few words.  You’ve given us background on Preacher and the early and late days of the gang.  Great tone, very introspective.  Perfect for the Preacher.

Nightwalker
First, loving the "B. Cute" as the sheriff's name.  Was the "Sheriff Bell" a reference to his first name?

Otherwise, interesting idea how Grace Turner could have come to know Curry but not Heyes.  However, after reading it several times, I'm confused as to a couple of things.  First, if the boys were random, unknown stage robbers when her stage was held up, how could she have identified Kid Curry by name years later when she wired US authorities from Mexico if she didn't know his name?  She might have recalled his looks and demeanor but wouldn't have any reason to pinpoint him as Curry, especially when there were no likenesses of him.  Second, why was Heyes in disguise, and why would the sheriff have arrested him if he were just checking out stage schedules?  If Heyes was at the robbery, why wouldn't none of three young women have remembered him at all?  Perhaps I'm missing something or overthinking it, but I like the idea overall. 

Chelseagirl
Love when Kyle is a central character and how you expanded on his future possibilities, especially using Mille to coach him in reading and Rita on how to get him to make her a respectable woman.  Noted the part about Kyle's never having had a bounty on him and recalled how Wheat and Kyle saw their wanted posters hanging inside the telegraph office in "The Day They Hanged Kid Curry," so will have to wait to read the whole story when it's available to see if that point is relevant.

UK_rachel74
Nice job.  Not sure I've ever seen backstory on Preacher.

Stepha3nie:  What a sad, but touching and sensitive story.  I too, like Wheat, misread who the note was about, which made it all the more poignant.  Thanks for sharing.

Shade Nightwalker:
What a fun story. I really like outlaw-days fics. Especially when they contain clever Hannibal Heyes plans. And this one sure does. Using the Victorians' horror and embarrassment over women's unmentionables... *chuckles wickedly*
I particularly loved Heyes's pre-parting shot at the sheriff. Yup, "good luck" indeed. Oh, the poor law man has no idea what he has just unleashed.
Yes, the poor sheriff. What is he to do with a witness statement like that? (Kudos for managing to squeeze such over the top, Mary-Sue-ish descriptions into a story without it being Mary-Sue-ish) Back to the poor sheriff: To be saddled with a name like that... *humming "Johnny B. Goode" to herself*  And speaking of names - can it really be? Does the tricky lady from "The Great Shell Game" make an early appearance? If so, no wonder that she immediately picked on the blue-eyed one in the series. I am glad that she came to her senses in the episode and finally more than "noticed" the dimpled one, though. *nods seriously at world being made right again*
Fun interaction between our boys. I love the last image, of them riding off. So young and carefree. If only it could have lasted. *sighs*

As I already told you, well done for writing in English. But may I say that this time, I noticed a few rough bits here and there? I know, glasshouse and stones. *ducks* There were also many excellent bits. I particularly liked your short descriptions of Heyes's appearance, the way you used them to let us know his thoughts, mood, hidden meaning, especially during his interactions with the sheriff. It made me see Pete act this out. You also managed to come up with some killer lines (like the "good luck" one).



Chelseagirl:
Since I have (so far) not read the previous part(s) of this story, it took me a little while to get into it. That said, there was enough information there for the story to stand alone.
What an intriguing idea - Kyle is dyslexic rather than not particularly bright. *Huh.* Having the idea that one is stupid rubbed in all the time could make anyone (and everyone else) believe it. *ponders* This would explain why he comes across somewhat differently in the episodes without Wheat, where he appears more assertive. Interesting.
A single lade going to a saloon - that should raise a few eyebrows. *she writes, eyebrows raised* Then again, she did not go in during normal business hours and maybe you are right in pointing out that "reformers" might also approach fallen doves. So maybe this is not quite so outrageous.
Wow, now this image will take some getting out of my head: Kyle, the considerate and consummate lover. *claws at brain*
Ahem, what do you mean "not every man can look like Kid Curry"? *cough Heyes cough* Ah, good. I like Ella. What a perceptive lady. *nods to herself*
Snort, a single lawyer lady giving a fallen dove relationship advice. *chuckles* Nice. I like it.
Interesting story with an intriguing female lead (at least in this part). I think I want to know more and will have to go back and read. Yay.

Remuda:
Aw, a childhood story. Your writing was so compelling that, once I understood the assignment, I felt compelled to look for possible words myself. Would the name "Al" count? Well, if Kid had German ancestors, he could have added Wal (German for whale). *nods proudly*
Miss Jones, is it? *raises one eyebrow* And really, a Miss Smith as well? *snortgiggle*
I have to admit that I usually don't like children (much), but I like the way you are writing them. Very real and believable, not just going for the "oh how cute" factor, but turning them into proper characters. Yes, playground politics seemed so big and important back then. Interesting to see Jed wanting to avoid trouble with the bully so much. He sure changed later. I am wondering a little where Han is in all this (apart from whispering in Jed's head).
Boy, oh boy, *guffaws* did Miss Jones get it wrong. *calms down* Poignant to think what might have been, if not for the raid... Then again, there is still time.
Extremely well written - but then, we sort of expect that from you. *wink*



uk_rachel74:
What a sad background tale for Preacher.  *sighs sadly* It fills us in on how he became simply "Preacher", how he joined and later left the Devil's Hole Gang. Another bad man with some good in him. And another character I really liked in ASJ.
You know, I don't think I have ever read a story where someone has given him a name. Losing wife and child (and his faith) could sure turn a man to drinking and send him on a downwards spiral.
Our boys save him several times. With money, by taking him in, by leaving no man behind. It is sad that they cannot save him from his darker emotions, particularly envy and grief. At first he envies their carefree youth, believing they don't know grief. Then he learns of their own tragedy and must wonder how they did not let it destroy them. I wonder what makes Preacher envious the second time - is it that they still have someone to celebrate being alive with (after the botched raid), while he is alone, or is it that they have found a better way to deal with their fate than he has? In a way he has lost more than they - he has even lost himself, in a bottle. He doesn't even have a name any longer, is only "Preacher". *really depressed now*
And then the final loss: his two saviours.
The last sentence seems hopeful to me. He gives up his passivity and takes responsibility for his life back. Too bad, the series showed us that it doesn't go too well. But at least he manages to preserve a little goodness and becomes more self-assured, as we find out in "Never Trust an Honest Man". *feels a little happier again*

Stepha3nie. What a sad story. Nicely written and makes complete sense the Kid would want to bury Heyes where he wouldn't be disturbed. You write Wheat really interestingly too.