Alias Smith and Jones Fun and Fanfiction
Alias Smith and Jones Fun and Fanfiction

A site for all kinds of fun for fans of Alias Smith and Jones
 
HomeHome  PortalPortal  CalendarCalendar  UsergroupsUsergroups  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 Applause and Feedback

Go down 
Go to page : Previous  1 ... 16 ... 28, 29, 30
AuthorMessage
chelseagirl



Posts : 29
Join date : 2018-03-02
Age : 56
Location : New York, NY

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Sep 02, 2018 10:04 pm

This month's topic didn't inspire me, but it clearly inspired you!  

RosieAnnie:  Happy to see Mrs. Binford have her say, finally!

Nebraska:  Excellent sense of place, and it's always nice to see the whole Gang!

Cal:  Oh that ending was ominous . . . is this a to be continued?

Elleree:  What fun -- the way the Howards used the dentures to foil the sheriff and his men at the end was delightful.
Back to top Go down
elleree

avatar

Posts : 27
Join date : 2018-07-10

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Sep 03, 2018 4:33 am

Thank you all for commenting!
Gin16: I should put that in the description. “Work that’s not hard on the back, just the backside.” Heh. I’m glad you liked it. :)


Cal: I’m glad you enjoyed the rooster and the bucket. I could see them both easily—and the way the partners react to them. Glad you liked the breakfast scene—the boys don’t get enough home cooked meals—and I also wince at the inclusion of the prompt. Well, it had to go in there somewhere! ;) I’m glad you had fun—I had to have some tension, but this one was all about the humor.


RosieAnnie: I’m pleased you enjoyed it! I’m also glad people liked the rooster scene. It was fun to write. (And surprisingly easy to picture.)


Nebraska Wildfire: I’m glad you liked the continuation! It was unfortunate they had to hit the road but they did successfully escape. I figure the sheriff and deputies were demoralized by falling on dentures and didn’t have their hearts in the chase. :)


Chelseagirl: I figure if you have enough of something around the house, it can be used as a weapon. ;) I am glad you had fun in the reading.
Back to top Go down
InsideOutlaw

avatar

Posts : 492
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 62
Location : Colorado

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Sep 04, 2018 1:11 pm

RosieAnnie:  Great missing scene and great writing.  Loved the undercurrents of the conversation between Margaret and the lofty Mrs. Binford.  And we get to witness the unraveling of Binford's scheming ways.  Really enjoyed this one!

NebraskaWildfire:  Like they say here--if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes.  Heyes can control his men and minimize the risks but he still has to depend on luck to a large extent.  No wonder the Kid and the rest of the gang were doubting him.  And no wonder they eventually gave up this life.  Thanks for a fun (and successful) robbery and a chuckle at the end.

Cal:  Yikes!  I can't imagine a worse moment for our heroes.  You nicely portrayed their trepidation and the uncertainty of finishing their mission and then left us with chills in your last line.  Nicely done.

Elleree:  Why do I love the teeth so much?  This was so clever and so much fun--I laughed all the way through.

_________________
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
Back to top Go down
elleree

avatar

Posts : 27
Join date : 2018-07-10

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Sep 05, 2018 2:04 am

Inside Outlaw: Thanks for responding in two places! And I suppose because it's fun to imagine our boys in relatively harmless trouble. I'm glad you loved the teeth. :)
Back to top Go down
gin16



Posts : 212
Join date : 2014-08-12

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:51 pm

Cal:  What tension!, yikes!, you really need to stop leaving us hanging like this! (I'm KIDding), loved it, hopefully the next prompt will allow you to continue this story.  The governor is being way to cagey in the way he is talking, makes me nervous.

Riders57:  I remembered this one.  I like how they kinda just picked up from where they left off, just put whatever it was they fought about behind them and moved forward.  I liked it a whole lot.

Rosieannie:  What a gem. So, they got to spend the night in comfort, how good for them.  What a surprise when Grace showed up, I was expecting Grace Turner, not Sister Grace.  It was good to see her again and that she was still doing God's work but in a different way, a way that she was comfortable with.  And Kid, still concerned about her, that she was happy, even tho he disagreed with her about about men drinking, not a surprise.

Nebraska:  I loved it.  I guess that it was fate they Kid and Bessie should meet again in a hospital, my first thought was that Kid had been shot again, that would have been terrible.  I felt the ache that Heyes had in him when he saw Kid playing with Billy and knew it wouldn't be long before he went back for Ellie and Dea.  After all of the turmoil it is good to see them happy and that they are all together.   Thanks for a great story.


Last edited by gin16 on Sun Sep 23, 2018 8:03 pm; edited 3 times in total
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 117
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : The Sonoran Desert

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:34 am

Cal:. Another great, suspenseful offering this month! I loved it and I loved the last line, such a perfect ending after the tension of the story.
Back to top Go down
riders57

avatar

Posts : 550
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 61

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Sep 10, 2018 5:04 pm

Finally finishing comments for August:

Nebraska Wildfire:  yes, sounds like a difficult job even if successful -- you'd have to think long and hard whether the effort was worth the result.  I appreciated the Kid informing Heyes that while he may have been in this heat before it wasn't on purpose previously.

Cal:  You set the tension very well, the anxiety was palpable and understandable.  What a way to end your piece!

Elleree:  What a hoot.  I love the stand-off with the rooster.  Dentistry, huh?
Back to top Go down
elleree

avatar

Posts : 27
Join date : 2018-07-10

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Sep 11, 2018 2:37 am

Riders: Glad you enjoyed. Yes, they had quite a time. In the first part of this story, Heyes is mistaken for Doc Holliday and thus Kid says he can handle all the teeth. The Kid, on the other hand, apparently got to handle the chickens. ;)
Back to top Go down
elleree

avatar

Posts : 27
Join date : 2018-07-10

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Sep 14, 2018 12:27 am

Cal:
So excited you continued this! Thank you!
 
He’d seen that sheen before, when many a man had sat under the steady gaze of a fully armed Kid Curry, whilst he himself had encouraged them things would go better for them if they fully cooperated. 


Great line. 

The boys took a second to look at each other, just to make sure they were on the same page.
They were.

I can just see them in this moment, right before they burst into action. Nice writing.
 
“Wait a minute Kid…”  Oh Cal, are you trying to torture us? Nah, I’m just kidding. I know writing takes time and that is the perfect note to end on! So long as you do finish eventually. :)

Amnesty! Or at least that's what I hope, although why at the prison....? I'll have to wait and see.
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 117
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : The Sonoran Desert

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Sep 15, 2018 12:53 am

riders57: Loved the story. You have the boys down just perfect, and Wheat and Big Jim too. No Kyle yet? The story of how they both came to the Hole fit so well, I wasnt to believe that’s how it happened. And I could almost physically feel their honest concern for each other when they finally got back together. I liked that they were both ready to be together, and eat regularly too. :-)
Back to top Go down
Cal

avatar

Posts : 328
Join date : 2016-10-21

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Sep 18, 2018 5:06 pm

Riders57 – Is it weird that when I read this I get the feeling Kid has had to do a lot more growing up than Heyes, and he comes over as the mature one of the pair.  That is such an interesting concept.  Kid, with his reputation, and his dime novel, has had the harder road. I like that you have Wheat meet Kid before he gets to the Hole, and forms his opinion of him as a dangerous person, it ties in well with his demeanour around Kid in the pilot.
“There’s the two of us and my six bullets against the four of you.”
I would have loved to see that on screen….classic Kid.  Others have said , but I too think you made a real good job of writing Big Jim… not easy as he was larger than life….. and Wheat of course.
I don’t believe for one minute that Heyes doesn’t remember what they rowed about at the split… I bet Kid doesn’t either.  Excellent reunion Riders57.


Nightwalker -  Well this is unusual.  I had a Heyes Curry standoff in a story once… you don’t see them very often, and to have a law-abiding Curry and an Outlaw Heyes??? I went with it.  I think you gave us a very clever peak into this alternate universe.  I don’t know how you managed to tell us so much in so few words.  I’d say this was a reunion only for their nightmares, but I like the way you steered us back to the original at the end, even if it sounds like Kid would have a full-time job keeping this amnesty seeking Heyes out of trouble for any length of time.


RosieAnnieUSA – Right from the off you give us the promise of the bubble bath scene… I hope you’re not just teasing. Love the nod towards Kid’s breakfast obsession.  Ooh I like the unusual take on the prompt… a Baptist reunion. Well I did not see that coming… a happy, dating Grace… what a reunion… good catch from the series RosieAnnieUSA.  Aw …I can see Kid going all big brother protective… and she’s fine.  “Good timing. Your bath should be ready just about now.”  Yes yes yes…. That Mr Heyes is everyone’s pleasure lol…  “Think I’ll grab some fresh clothes and go for that bath. Down the hall?” What!!!! Nooooo….come back…. Rosie… I know people like to see Heyes lying back and reading… BUT… Down the Hall! AAAAAAAGH.
Back to top Go down
riders57

avatar

Posts : 550
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 61

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Sep 20, 2018 12:33 pm

Cal - a good continuation of the tension in your story.  I'm looking forward to how you end this tale -- on a good note for our boys or not.

Nightwalker:  I like the beginning it sets the stage well.  It leaves us wanting to know whose thoughts we're reading.  Also good choice of legitimate jobs for Heyes - lol.

RosieAnnie:  I like the ever cynical Heyes - "At least, not when other Baptists might see them."  The partner's interaction after Curry's encounter with Grace certainly explains how they can spend so much time together without shooting each other.
Back to top Go down
elleree

avatar

Posts : 27
Join date : 2018-07-10

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:02 pm

Riders57:
Oo, I love this story. I’ve read it before and it definitely fits the theme!
 
I love it when Big Jim asks Heyes about the Kid and how Heyes thinks about how to respond very carefully. Typical Heyes—and also nice to see the protective instinct is still there even if they split up! (I mean yes, he was protecting himself, too, but mainly the Kid. And also possibly hoping that he could find the Kid and he could join the gang and that no one could know they were family if so. Especially Wheat.)
 
I don’t know if I buy that Heyes doesn’t remember why they split, but I do believe he’d tell Big Jim that. 

“I count the odds differently.  There’s the two of us and my six bullets against the four of you.  NOW let him go and get out of here.”   That is such a great Kid Curry line.

“Come on, Heyes, you never could keep out of trouble.  You gotta stop winnin’ so much, it’s plumb annoyin’ to folks,” the Kid commented, swinging Heyes’s arm over his shoulder and helping him walk.
  
“You gotta work on your timing.  You couldn’t have come a minute or two earlier?”  Heyes growled then he grinned painfully.  “Sure is good to see you, Kid.”



That exchange is precious, too. And I can see them grinning at each other, even with poor Heyes all bloody. they just fell right back into being partners like they hadn't been split for years.

There was so much he wanted to say to the Kid, but somehow couldn’t, so he talked about anything, everything, to delay the inevitable.   Very in character. 

"...If you don’t want to try, I understand.  If you’d rather, I’ll leave with you instead.  If you let me, that is.”  He paused a moment and looked away, not meeting Kid’s eyes.  “I don’t want to lose you again, Jed.”

So cute. And then Kid says he wants to stay as well. It is very heart warming and I can see this being just how a reunion would go! Love this story, Riders, thanks for sharing it here.

Nightwalker:
This was an interesting AU for sure. When I read ‘US Marshal Curry’ I believe my mouth may have dropped open. Although really, I could see him with a tin star. It definitely made me want to see this play out, although I knew they’d never be able to kill each other.

How could I ever forget you?” he murmured under his breath.   Awww, my heart broke at this.

I must say Kid actually shooting Heyes was a surprise, but not the fact that he made it a perfectly placed shot. 

He didn’t always tell the truth – indeed he was an outstanding liar – but he never broke his word, once he gave it.  Very in character.

I also love how at ease with each other they are despite being on the opposite sides of the law. I also like it still being the Kid that brings up the idea of amnesty, even if it is just for his cousin this time.
 
Safety specialist is a good job for Heyes although good luck to Kid trying to keep him on the straight and narrow! Think of all those tempting safes! 

I think they’ll manage, though. They are, even in an AU, Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry, after all. Thank you for telling this story. I enjoyed it.
 
Rosie Annie:
This story is such a good one! I won’t repeat all I said on the other place, but I will mention how much I enjoyed it. 

You've created a great atmosphere in the story. It’s bittersweet but also evocative  of the series with the humor through it and it ends okay in the end. 

Grace is where she should be and the Kid is where he should be as well—with his partner and on his own version of the path to reformation. Just not the Baptist, Prohibition kind. Heyes will obviously make sure the Kid is all right and that last scene was just a gem.  Loved this.
Back to top Go down
RosieAnnieUSA

avatar

Posts : 396
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 99
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Sep 22, 2018 8:39 pm

Cal: You drive me crazy, but in a very good way. I want to know, what happens next? Have our boys walked into a trap, or are they going to be the long-awaited amnesty? You did a wonderful job of building the tension. Everybody seems nervous, including the Governor. No one is in control of this situation, even though he may think he is. Good job!

Riders57: I think I remember reading this somewhere else and enjoying it then. It definitely holds up well. I get a big kick out of Heyes reading a dime novel starring Kid Curry. You show a thorough understanding of Wheat's character, and how well Heyes understands him. Terrific story. Great to see it again.

Nightwalker: I always appreciate a story that takes an original slant on our boys, and your story definitely does that. I love this part: "Usually his cousin backed him up or talked him out of his less brilliant plans. Jed’s calmness, his different point of view and his distinct sense of justness had always been a good complement to his own passionate nature. "


Ellerree: This starts out casually, but you give us some foreshadowing when you describe the saloon. It doesn't sound like a good place for Heyes. And, as events unfold, the old adage of "Bad things happen when we separate" proves true. I sure hope Curry comes along in time to rescue Lydia and Heyes! Looking forward to the follow-up.
Back to top Go down
http://www.lunartidemassageandangeltherapy.com
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   

Back to top Go down
 
Applause and Feedback
Back to top 
Page 30 of 30Go to page : Previous  1 ... 16 ... 28, 29, 30

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Alias Smith and Jones Fun and Fanfiction  :: Writer's Area - Please email Admin to get your own thread for your stories. Use a new thread for each story. Please comment after the story. :: Challenge Stories :: Applause and Feedback-
Jump to: