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 Applause and Feedback

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chelseagirl



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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Sep 02, 2018 10:04 pm

This month's topic didn't inspire me, but it clearly inspired you!  

RosieAnnie:  Happy to see Mrs. Binford have her say, finally!

Nebraska:  Excellent sense of place, and it's always nice to see the whole Gang!

Cal:  Oh that ending was ominous . . . is this a to be continued?

Elleree:  What fun -- the way the Howards used the dentures to foil the sheriff and his men at the end was delightful.
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elleree

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Sep 03, 2018 4:33 am

Thank you all for commenting!
Gin16: I should put that in the description. “Work that’s not hard on the back, just the backside.” Heh. I’m glad you liked it. :)


Cal: I’m glad you enjoyed the rooster and the bucket. I could see them both easily—and the way the partners react to them. Glad you liked the breakfast scene—the boys don’t get enough home cooked meals—and I also wince at the inclusion of the prompt. Well, it had to go in there somewhere! ;) I’m glad you had fun—I had to have some tension, but this one was all about the humor.


RosieAnnie: I’m pleased you enjoyed it! I’m also glad people liked the rooster scene. It was fun to write. (And surprisingly easy to picture.)


Nebraska Wildfire: I’m glad you liked the continuation! It was unfortunate they had to hit the road but they did successfully escape. I figure the sheriff and deputies were demoralized by falling on dentures and didn’t have their hearts in the chase. :)


Chelseagirl: I figure if you have enough of something around the house, it can be used as a weapon. ;) I am glad you had fun in the reading.
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Sep 04, 2018 1:11 pm

RosieAnnie:  Great missing scene and great writing.  Loved the undercurrents of the conversation between Margaret and the lofty Mrs. Binford.  And we get to witness the unraveling of Binford's scheming ways.  Really enjoyed this one!

NebraskaWildfire:  Like they say here--if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes.  Heyes can control his men and minimize the risks but he still has to depend on luck to a large extent.  No wonder the Kid and the rest of the gang were doubting him.  And no wonder they eventually gave up this life.  Thanks for a fun (and successful) robbery and a chuckle at the end.

Cal:  Yikes!  I can't imagine a worse moment for our heroes.  You nicely portrayed their trepidation and the uncertainty of finishing their mission and then left us with chills in your last line.  Nicely done.

Elleree:  Why do I love the teeth so much?  This was so clever and so much fun--I laughed all the way through.

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“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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elleree

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Sep 05, 2018 2:04 am

Inside Outlaw: Thanks for responding in two places! And I suppose because it's fun to imagine our boys in relatively harmless trouble. I'm glad you loved the teeth. :)
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gin16



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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:51 pm

Cal:  What tension!, yikes!, you really need to stop leaving us hanging like this! (I'm KIDding), loved it, hopefully the next prompt will allow you to continue this story.  The governor is being way to cagey in the way he is talking, makes me nervous.

Riders57:  I remembered this one.  I like how they kinda just picked up from where they left off, just put whatever it was they fought about behind them and moved forward.  I liked it a whole lot.

Rosieannie:  What a gem. So, they got to spend the night in comfort, how good for them.  What a surprise when Grace showed up, I was expecting Grace Turner, not Sister Grace.  It was good to see her again and that she was still doing God's work but in a different way, a way that she was comfortable with.  And Kid, still concerned about her, that she was happy, even tho he disagreed with her about about men drinking, not a surprise.

Nebraska:  I loved it.  I guess that it was fate they Kid and Bessie should meet again in a hospital, my first thought was that Kid had been shot again, that would have been terrible.  I felt the ache that Heyes had in him when he saw Kid playing with Billy and knew it wouldn't be long before he went back for Ellie and Dea.  After all of the turmoil it is good to see them happy and that they are all together.   Thanks for a great story.

Chelseagirl:  Very interesting, Heyes has a son.  Did Misty know back then that Heyes was an outlaw?  Ella, taking a drink straight down, is she P.O.?  Even more interesting, who is writing the letters.   I am looking forward to reading the rest of the story.

MoulinP"  What a gem.  I like having Susan around her Pappy, makes for an interesting read.  Why does he let her get too him so badly?  What does he have against statues of naked women?, Kid would appreciate it.  Agood thing that Mary is there for him, she is a calming influence as is Kid.

Stormr:  I am happy to be back in Small Falls, even if it was just for a morning.  This is one reunion that I would like to attend.  I wasn't surprised that they still had their hats and coats, old and treasured friends.  Turning Devils' Hole into a tourist attraction is a good idea, bet they made some money off of it.  In the story Hannibal Heyes' Hat by (I think) Allegra, Kid suggested an old west or cowboy museum and Heyes scoffed at the idea, I thought it was a good one, so is this one.

Insideoutlaw:  Wow,  It is always bad when they split up.  I don't like cruelty and shooting someone in the foot is just plain awful.The bounty hunter got what he deserved.  Sure hope Kid catches up before anything else happens.  We Have had a lot of cliffhangers lately, but they are all really good ones.

Remuda:  I liked this backstory on Lobo.  Quite a different life he was leading after he left home.  And he left behind a wife.  It was good that they ran into each other again after so long and could reminisce about maybe some good times and be okay with they way things are now.


Last edited by gin16 on Mon Oct 01, 2018 8:19 pm; edited 8 times in total
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:34 am

Cal:. Another great, suspenseful offering this month! I loved it and I loved the last line, such a perfect ending after the tension of the story.
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Sep 10, 2018 5:04 pm

Finally finishing comments for August:

Nebraska Wildfire:  yes, sounds like a difficult job even if successful -- you'd have to think long and hard whether the effort was worth the result.  I appreciated the Kid informing Heyes that while he may have been in this heat before it wasn't on purpose previously.

Cal:  You set the tension very well, the anxiety was palpable and understandable.  What a way to end your piece!

Elleree:  What a hoot.  I love the stand-off with the rooster.  Dentistry, huh?
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elleree

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Sep 11, 2018 2:37 am

Riders: Glad you enjoyed. Yes, they had quite a time. In the first part of this story, Heyes is mistaken for Doc Holliday and thus Kid says he can handle all the teeth. The Kid, on the other hand, apparently got to handle the chickens. ;)
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elleree

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Sep 14, 2018 12:27 am

Cal:
So excited you continued this! Thank you!
 
He’d seen that sheen before, when many a man had sat under the steady gaze of a fully armed Kid Curry, whilst he himself had encouraged them things would go better for them if they fully cooperated. 


Great line. 

The boys took a second to look at each other, just to make sure they were on the same page.
They were.

I can just see them in this moment, right before they burst into action. Nice writing.
 
“Wait a minute Kid…”  Oh Cal, are you trying to torture us? Nah, I’m just kidding. I know writing takes time and that is the perfect note to end on! So long as you do finish eventually. :)

Amnesty! Or at least that's what I hope, although why at the prison....? I'll have to wait and see.
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Sep 15, 2018 12:53 am

riders57: Loved the story. You have the boys down just perfect, and Wheat and Big Jim too. No Kyle yet? The story of how they both came to the Hole fit so well, I wasnt to believe that’s how it happened. And I could almost physically feel their honest concern for each other when they finally got back together. I liked that they were both ready to be together, and eat regularly too. :-)
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Sep 18, 2018 5:06 pm

Riders57 – Is it weird that when I read this I get the feeling Kid has had to do a lot more growing up than Heyes, and he comes over as the mature one of the pair.  That is such an interesting concept.  Kid, with his reputation, and his dime novel, has had the harder road. I like that you have Wheat meet Kid before he gets to the Hole, and forms his opinion of him as a dangerous person, it ties in well with his demeanour around Kid in the pilot.
“There’s the two of us and my six bullets against the four of you.”
I would have loved to see that on screen….classic Kid.  Others have said , but I too think you made a real good job of writing Big Jim… not easy as he was larger than life….. and Wheat of course.
I don’t believe for one minute that Heyes doesn’t remember what they rowed about at the split… I bet Kid doesn’t either.  Excellent reunion Riders57.


Nightwalker -  Well this is unusual.  I had a Heyes Curry standoff in a story once… you don’t see them very often, and to have a law-abiding Curry and an Outlaw Heyes??? I went with it.  I think you gave us a very clever peak into this alternate universe.  I don’t know how you managed to tell us so much in so few words.  I’d say this was a reunion only for their nightmares, but I like the way you steered us back to the original at the end, even if it sounds like Kid would have a full-time job keeping this amnesty seeking Heyes out of trouble for any length of time.


RosieAnnieUSA – Right from the off you give us the promise of the bubble bath scene… I hope you’re not just teasing. Love the nod towards Kid’s breakfast obsession.  Ooh I like the unusual take on the prompt… a Baptist reunion. Well I did not see that coming… a happy, dating Grace… what a reunion… good catch from the series RosieAnnieUSA.  Aw …I can see Kid going all big brother protective… and she’s fine.  “Good timing. Your bath should be ready just about now.”  Yes yes yes…. That Mr Heyes is everyone’s pleasure lol…  “Think I’ll grab some fresh clothes and go for that bath. Down the hall?” What!!!! Nooooo….come back…. Rosie… I know people like to see Heyes lying back and reading… BUT… Down the Hall! AAAAAAAGH.
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Sep 20, 2018 12:33 pm

Cal - a good continuation of the tension in your story.  I'm looking forward to how you end this tale -- on a good note for our boys or not.

Nightwalker:  I like the beginning it sets the stage well.  It leaves us wanting to know whose thoughts we're reading.  Also good choice of legitimate jobs for Heyes - lol.

RosieAnnie:  I like the ever cynical Heyes - "At least, not when other Baptists might see them."  The partner's interaction after Curry's encounter with Grace certainly explains how they can spend so much time together without shooting each other.
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elleree

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:02 pm

Riders57:
Oo, I love this story. I’ve read it before and it definitely fits the theme!
 
I love it when Big Jim asks Heyes about the Kid and how Heyes thinks about how to respond very carefully. Typical Heyes—and also nice to see the protective instinct is still there even if they split up! (I mean yes, he was protecting himself, too, but mainly the Kid. And also possibly hoping that he could find the Kid and he could join the gang and that no one could know they were family if so. Especially Wheat.)
 
I don’t know if I buy that Heyes doesn’t remember why they split, but I do believe he’d tell Big Jim that. 

“I count the odds differently.  There’s the two of us and my six bullets against the four of you.  NOW let him go and get out of here.”   That is such a great Kid Curry line.

“Come on, Heyes, you never could keep out of trouble.  You gotta stop winnin’ so much, it’s plumb annoyin’ to folks,” the Kid commented, swinging Heyes’s arm over his shoulder and helping him walk.
  
“You gotta work on your timing.  You couldn’t have come a minute or two earlier?”  Heyes growled then he grinned painfully.  “Sure is good to see you, Kid.”



That exchange is precious, too. And I can see them grinning at each other, even with poor Heyes all bloody. they just fell right back into being partners like they hadn't been split for years.

There was so much he wanted to say to the Kid, but somehow couldn’t, so he talked about anything, everything, to delay the inevitable.   Very in character. 

"...If you don’t want to try, I understand.  If you’d rather, I’ll leave with you instead.  If you let me, that is.”  He paused a moment and looked away, not meeting Kid’s eyes.  “I don’t want to lose you again, Jed.”

So cute. And then Kid says he wants to stay as well. It is very heart warming and I can see this being just how a reunion would go! Love this story, Riders, thanks for sharing it here.

Nightwalker:
This was an interesting AU for sure. When I read ‘US Marshal Curry’ I believe my mouth may have dropped open. Although really, I could see him with a tin star. It definitely made me want to see this play out, although I knew they’d never be able to kill each other.

How could I ever forget you?” he murmured under his breath.   Awww, my heart broke at this.

I must say Kid actually shooting Heyes was a surprise, but not the fact that he made it a perfectly placed shot. 

He didn’t always tell the truth – indeed he was an outstanding liar – but he never broke his word, once he gave it.  Very in character.

I also love how at ease with each other they are despite being on the opposite sides of the law. I also like it still being the Kid that brings up the idea of amnesty, even if it is just for his cousin this time.
 
Safety specialist is a good job for Heyes although good luck to Kid trying to keep him on the straight and narrow! Think of all those tempting safes! 

I think they’ll manage, though. They are, even in an AU, Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry, after all. Thank you for telling this story. I enjoyed it.
 
Rosie Annie:
This story is such a good one! I won’t repeat all I said on the other place, but I will mention how much I enjoyed it. 

You've created a great atmosphere in the story. It’s bittersweet but also evocative  of the series with the humor through it and it ends okay in the end. 

Grace is where she should be and the Kid is where he should be as well—with his partner and on his own version of the path to reformation. Just not the Baptist, Prohibition kind. Heyes will obviously make sure the Kid is all right and that last scene was just a gem.  Loved this.
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RosieAnnieUSA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Sep 22, 2018 8:39 pm

Cal: You drive me crazy, but in a very good way. I want to know, what happens next? Have our boys walked into a trap, or are they going to be the long-awaited amnesty? You did a wonderful job of building the tension. Everybody seems nervous, including the Governor. No one is in control of this situation, even though he may think he is. Good job!

Riders57: I think I remember reading this somewhere else and enjoying it then. It definitely holds up well. I get a big kick out of Heyes reading a dime novel starring Kid Curry. You show a thorough understanding of Wheat's character, and how well Heyes understands him. Terrific story. Great to see it again.

Nightwalker: I always appreciate a story that takes an original slant on our boys, and your story definitely does that. I love this part: "Usually his cousin backed him up or talked him out of his less brilliant plans. Jed’s calmness, his different point of view and his distinct sense of justness had always been a good complement to his own passionate nature. "


Ellerree: This starts out casually, but you give us some foreshadowing when you describe the saloon. It doesn't sound like a good place for Heyes. And, as events unfold, the old adage of "Bad things happen when we separate" proves true. I sure hope Curry comes along in time to rescue Lydia and Heyes! Looking forward to the follow-up.
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RosieAnnieUSA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Sep 27, 2018 9:51 pm

Nebraska Wildfire: I love a happy family reunion, and you're giving us two! I have to think that, in the "real" world, there would've been a few curly-haired blonde babies and a few little ones with dark hair and dimples. It's nice to think that our boys would do the honorable thing, and especially nice to think that they weren't casual about sharing their affections. Thanks for giving me a smile tonight.

Chealseagirl: Wow, you've really given us a good mystery here. I'll have to look for the rest of this story. There's some evildoer out there, who doesn't care who gets hurt along the way. You've definitely got me hooked.
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Sep 30, 2018 9:32 am

Eleree – Practically holding my nose whilst reading here... lol… poor Heyes… how the mighty have fallen. Lydia and I are on the same page… ”Isn’t Thaddeus with you?” I love this line…   Heyes couldn’t decide whether the air of menace or halitosis they exuded was worse.  Wish I’d written that! (did the three Kings just become the three Queens… may need an edit there) Oh dear…I don’t think Lydia meant to drop Heyes in it… but… where’s Kid when you need him? AH… Good use of the prompt Eleree.  I like the way you leave us guessing just how loyal/helpful Lydia is going to be to the boys in the near future … I’m banking on a Kid Curry style rescue… coboy 8 please.
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Sep 30, 2018 10:05 am

NebraskaWildfire – You put me in a dilemma…to read …or to go back and catch up first. I read. Now I wish I’d waited and caught up first.  The story was well told and I liked the busy hospital scenes.  The scene with Jed and Billy was gorgeous even if I was missing details of the conversation with Heyes.  I always like Wheat and Kyle to feature, but I have to go back and find out how Kyle got shot.  I think the solution is… leave it a while… and when I’ve forgotten the ending, Rolling Eyes go back track and fill in the middle.  At least I know I’ll be in for a treat! clapping
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Sep 30, 2018 10:50 am

Chelseagirl –


Noooo…. Another dilemma… (Look I’ve been to two music festivals this month already and I’m really behind on the reading/feedback… lol… luckily…it doesn’t take too long for me to forget the endings and enjoy the stories all over again… after all, I’ve watched the episodes of AS&J a million times each!)


He was finally going to meet his father.  HOOKED! Aw… loving the comedy at Kyle’s expense… nowhere near the legend (ah but Kyle…you are a legend in your own right!) Ella’s reactions are fab… Love her knocking back the good stuff.  That reunion was awkward all round.  What has been going on? What is about to happen? … I will be following the link to find out.  I do love this setting, which is strange for me, I’m not much of a romantic but you seem to keep the boys in character despite the life changes.
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chelseagirl



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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Sep 30, 2018 8:17 pm

What a great topic, Nebraska!  So many contributions this month, I had to save my comments in a Word document so I wouldn't lose track by the time I got to the end . . . 

Cal:  You just plan to keep us on the edge of our seats forever, don’t you?  I have a feeling I think I know what’s going on and that Heyes maybe doesn’t, but I guess I’ll just need to wait and see.   Favorite line: “I have been led to believe . . .  you are not an unintelligent man” – the self-proclaimed genius must just have LOVED that.

Riders57:  Excellent!  The interaction between Heyes, Wheat, and Big Jim is so well played, and then the reunion between Heyes and Curry, likewise.  I love the idea that Heyes is keeping track of his partner via dime novels, even if they’re clearly not telling the truth, and the way Wheat describes the Kid from his Texas encounter was so vivid.  Is this part of a longer story or a series?  I see you said it was an older story, and I’d love to read more – do tell!

Nightwalker:  I remember we discussed the fact that we’d both written stories where Curry became a lawman and Heyes was on the opposite side of things, but I kept meaning to get back to your story and never quite did.  So how delightful to have this chance to finally read it! Things play out a bit differently – which is one of the great things about fanfic, how we all can take similar ideas and do our own thing with it.  

RosieAnnie:  You set a lovely scene, and then the reunion between Curry and Grace – wow.  I’m actually glad she didn’t get too frivolous; that scene in the show always struck me as a little bit too “she just needs to meet the right man” and this feels more realistic for who she is.  The Kid’s reaction is interesting, and feels very real.  Excellent job!

Elleree:  So, there will be more of this, yes?  What’s with the cliffhangers this month?  Vividly drawn, and I especially thought you did an excellent job with Lydia.  Favorite line:  “I see this gang has a Kyle.”  I could see the run-down saloon, the poker players, and Heyes’ abduction.  And I’m afraid that Thaddeus isn’t going to be as happy to see Lydia, under the circumstances, as she would have liked.

Nebraska:  double reunion, double romance, double offspring – both satisfying and in character for the guys.  I can just feel the shock when Bessie sees Jed again, and his reunion with his son is very touching.  As for Ellie, she is so much more guarded, but it’s lovely to see them at that moment when everything is finally about to begin for them, at the very end.

Chelseagirl (me):  Now some of us are much kinder to our readers about cliffhangers.  ;-)  If anybody missed it, I’ve now put up the link to the full story, at the end of that preface paragraph.  Here it is again: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16134776/chapters/37697378

Moulin P:  I think my favorite line was “Do you know any other Susan who can make me drink whiskey at 8:30 in the morning?”  You’ve certainly given Heyes quite the family, and I love how his daughter keeps him on his toes. I’m glad the Kid was on hand to help him cope, rather than back in Boston.  He’s really the only one who really understands, isn’t he? 

Stormr:  First a reunion with his hat and coat, and then the really big one!  Devil’s Hole as tourist attraction?  Love it!  I can just see Wheat holding forth to the guests – perfect!  The criminal equivalent of a dude ranch.  I’m guessing that this is part of a series – where might the rest of the stories be found?
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chelseagirl



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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Sep 30, 2018 8:28 pm

RosieAnnie:  Hope my evildoer doesn't disappoint too much.  

Cal:  The secret is:  I'm not a romantic either.  The first set of Ella stories was written twenty years ago; I wanted to figure out what kind of women I could see the guys with, while remaining who they really were, rather than suddenly coming over all domesticated and hearts and flowers and stuff.  All these years later (and having become a married person myself in the interim), the character dynamics still make sense to me.
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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Sep 30, 2018 9:59 pm

Chelsea Girl -- thank you for your kind comments (and everyone else's).  Yes I combined this with two other challenge pieces and put all three on fanfiction -- called "Meetings Great and Smaall" -- I'm Nora Winters over there.
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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 01, 2018 12:51 am

Nebraska Wildfire:
Even Heyes had to relinquish control.
Although I was worried about Kyle, that line made me smile. 

"[T]he man looked like he wanted to cry, but would not in front of us. He sniffed, and cleared his throat.
An apt description of Wheat faced with his own injured partner, I think. He definitely wouldn't want to cry in front of anyone but especially not Heyes and the Kid plus a lady. Still, the scene is very sweet on top of the reunion that Bessie and Kid have.

Jedediah certainly was as shy as I could ever imagine Kid Curry being.
So cute. As well as their blue eyes shining. And when Heyes laughs about the Hannibal bit. 

As his tears subsided, I looked from my boys to Hannibal Heyes.  He had an utterly sorrowful look on his face.  
Awww, so sad and shows so much. Kid had his happy ending but Heyes hasn't, yet. 

But the ending was precious! I was sniffling and everything. Nice job!
 
Chelseagirl:
I really like this and I have been reading the Ella series. (Which is shocking for me, because as I mentioned, I am the jealous type and don't like seeing either partner with another woman. Not permanently. Heh. That just goes to show how good your stories are!) I hadn't read this one yet but I enjoyed the start.

But the Kid was better at knowing just how far he could go with the more respectable young ladies.  He’d lost his heart far more often than Heyes had, but he had also been better at keeping the two things separate.
Great line.  I think it could explain why Heyes did less of the kissing in the series…

I also like Jonathon and how he wanted to think things through. Hope that he and Heyes can work things out.  
(PS. Read the rest and I loved it! Don't want to cite spoilers here, but I definitely gave you my kudos. :) )

Moulin P:
“Didn’t you tell me that science recently discovered that it’s the male contribution that determines a child’s sex?” The Kid bit his lip.
Heyes looked at him incredulously. “I still didn’t have any say it in,” he ground out between gritted teeth.
Then he looked away as his mouth twitched into a smile, which became a chuckle, then a short laugh.



Glad to see the Kid can still make Heyes laugh! And that their relationship is intact pretty much exactly like it was during the series, hah. And you know, I think Kid loves to do that. Throw back some fact that Heyes once told him in his face. Just a little. :)

I  still love Grumpy instead of Grampy.
 
Stormr:
Okay I love how Heyes and Kid both bring out their old hats and coats. Adorable way to start. 

As if time hadn’t passed, the two men worked in harmony setting up camp for the night.  Words were not spoken, words weren’t needed as both men knew each other as well or perhaps better than they knew themselves.  They had been joined at the hip so to speak for so long that everything came naturally with ease.  
I love this paragraph. It's so true! Even during the series timeline, let alone years later.
 
“She’s cooking on a stove not on a fire.”  Under his breath he added, “Makes a difference.”
Made me laugh. Heyes, it's okay if your coffee is terrible. 

I love the idea of the Devil’s Hold Gang as a dude ranch. Or would that be a dude hideout? Whatever you call it, it’s a great idea. And of course the outlaws should have a reunion there first before they go into business. 
 
Inside Outlaw:
Oh no, Kid sick and Heyes alone and a message with an expiration, too!  Those two should never split up. 

Something always went wrong when they separated.  “We split up.”   I see Heyes agrees with me. And I was wincing at this bounty hunter's treatment of Heyes. His poor foot! 

Kid Curry reined his horse up at the top of a small rise.  I have never been so happy to read a line! Good! Kid is on his way! I want him to go save Heyes—and maybe the packet, too, if possible, but primarily Heyes.
           
His knees weakened and his hand rested on his gun butt as he issued a soft curse.  Why did things always go so wrong when they split up?
Ok I love his reaction—er, that sounds awful. I mean, I think it is one he might have and it's also adorable. I have already confessed to loving hurt comfort so I am not ashamed to admit that this is still the case. Also I too have wondered why things always go so wrong when they split up. (And exploited the fact in fan fiction...)
 
The bay galloped on, his rider bouncing crazily from side to side with his hands tied behind his back.  Ack! Oh no! That’s terrible! And brilliant. What a perfect place to end—I definitely want to read what happens next! Poor Heyes is feverish and handcuffed on the back of a running horse on a precarious trail. Meanwhile, Kid is somewhere behind him…not sure where.

Sheesh. You excel at cliffhangers! Can’t wait for the rest.
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chelseagirl



Posts : 34
Join date : 2018-03-02
Age : 56
Location : New York, NY

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 01, 2018 6:46 am

comments on stories: 


InsideOutlaw: So you're one of those writers with a real sense of place (and horsemanship) who puts all us Easterners and Brits to shame.  ;-)  I loved this one, especially the way Heyes throws the bounty hunter off the track by pretending he and the Kid have split up.  So vividly written, and Mac is so well-drawn as a humorous, but not so humorous, character.  Your sense of description is so strong with character as well as scenery, the description of Heyes' hat and the contrast to his former appearance especially.  I'm so looking forward to more of this . . . 

Remuda:  Will wonders never cease?  A touching story about Lobo Riggs, of all things.  I like the gritty realism of it all.  I never would have imagined him as the scion of an Eastern banking family, but as we don't get much on the character in the series, hey, why not?  In any case, your interpretation is fascinating, and it's something we haven't seen before, which is impressive with canon being nearly 50 years old . . . 

Comments on comments:


Riders 57:  Thanks!  Looking forward to reading!

Elleree: My characters and I are honored that you're making an exception for us.  In the series, just because you fall in love, you don't turn into the hero or heroine of a romance novel.  Life stays complicated . . . and so do people.  ;-)
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elleree

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Posts : 42
Join date : 2018-07-10

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 01, 2018 8:32 am

Responses to Story Comments...

Rosie Annie: I’m glad the saloon gave a fair warning.  I will indeed follow through with the story. Thank you for the comments!

Cal: I’m glad the stench of the saloon got through to you…I guess? Lol! Sorry about that. I liked the halitosis line myself. Perhaps I’ve considered just what most places and people back then would have smelt like a little too thoroughly. There’s a reason why Heyes and the Kid clean up nice, like baths, and have great teeth! (It makes them stand out and, of course, it gives us the bathtub scenes!) Thanks again for catching the cards, I edited it . Although Heyes COULD cheat, he wasn’t, lol. You’ll have to find out about Lydia and Kid, but I’m writing it so it won’t be too long, promise. :)

Chelseagirl: There will be more of this, I promise. (Although I often wonder how a few paragraph scene I thought of ends up so much longer. I think I plan stories the way Hannibal Heyes plans bank and train jobs. ‘Don’t worry boys, it’s simple!’ Three hours later and he’s still talking…)  I’m glad Lydia and the action came off the page for you. And I’m sure you’re right about Thaddeus and Lydia’s reunion. One way or another I can't see it being what she envisioned!
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elleree

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Posts : 42
Join date : 2018-07-10

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 01, 2018 8:34 am

Responses to Story Comments...

Rosie Annie: I’m glad the saloon gave a fair warning.  I will indeed follow through with the story. Thank you for the comments!

Cal: I’m glad the stench of the saloon got through to you…I guess? Lol! Sorry about that. I liked the halitosis line myself. Perhaps I’ve considered just what most places and people back then would have smelt like a little too thoroughly. There’s a reason why Heyes and the Kid clean up nice, like baths, and have great teeth! (It makes them stand out and, of course, it gives us the bathtub scenes!) Thanks again for catching the cards, I edited it . Although Heyes COULD cheat, he wasn’t, lol. You’ll have to find out about Lydia and Kid, but I’m writing it so it won’t be too long, promise. :)

Chelseagirl: There will be more of this, I promise. (Although I often wonder how a few paragraph scene I thought of ends up so much longer. I think I plan stories the way Hannibal Heyes plans bank and train jobs. ‘Don’t worry boys, it’s simple!’ Three hours later and he’s still talking…)  I’m glad Lydia and the action came off the page for you. And I’m sure you’re right about Thaddeus and Lydia’s reunion. One way or another I can't see it being what she envisioned!
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