Applause and Feedback

Trying to catch up here:

Gringa, Stephana3nie, Remuda, Distant Drums, Stepha3nie, and Keays -- you all did an excellent job of creating a short vignette in a very few lines.  I'm in awe of the brevity.  

HunkeyDorey - I remember reading this when you first wrote it and I loved it just as much this time! Poor Ben. I bet the boy's uncle was pleased with his revenge. How funny!

Nancy Whiskey - I loved the image this put in my mind and I really would like to know what had transpired to put the boys in that position.

InsideOutlaw - Glad to see this continuation. Those guys are proving to be worthy adversaries of HH and KC. I hope Will and his bunch get to find out just who they're dealing with soon. Looking forward to the rest!

Riders - First off, I LOVE the name of Sally's place! Lobo can certainly be almost as proddy as Wheat sometimes. Loved Kyle's comment about Heyes' grandma. His character is one that can make the most innocent sound comments at times. The ending was wonderful. No Heyes, don't tell the boys the truth.

RosieAnnie - This could easily be the prequel to either of your ongoing stories (which I'd love to read more of... ;) Heyes seems happiest when he's gets to plan. If there's a loophole to be found in an agreement, he'll find it. I would be tempted to do the same in their position. Big Mac would make a great target and Heyes is right, he wouldn't miss it.

Silverkelpie - Yay, more Tibby! Seems Heyes isn't the only master manipulator out there. The way Tibby dealt with the bully at the bar was brilliant. And I liked that it was Heyes who finally came to his rescue. Just like Tibby thought, one of them stepped in. Kid's description of Tibby as an 'accident waiting to happen' is certainly accurate. He could be real trouble if he does in fact have photographic evidence.

Javabee - The way Heyes dealt with Kid's complaining was great, describing the scenarios that would be worse or more dangerous than their current position. I can understand Kid's misery though. It's tough to just keep waiting and waiting for something to happen. Liked the last line too.

Gringa - You wrote exactly what the governor likely said. He just said it to get them out of the business.

Stepha3nie - Good to see they got amnesty, but dealing with the press can be awfully hard.

Remuda - Very well written and deep. What exactly had happened? Did someone get killed? So many possibilities. It leaves you wondering in a good way.

Distant Drums - LOL! Does anyone like going to the dentist? ;)

Stepha3nie #2 - So this is part of a longer story? Looking forward to reading it!

Keays - A year can pass so quickly. This could have been a number of things, a year since they asked for amnesty, a year since they got it and are still living from job to job.

To all of you vying for the shortest entry - It's amazing how much of a story can be told with so little words.

Hanna Heyes: An interesting idea, which I don't think I've seen before, and a good use of the prompt. It does sound like an average day for our boys, but why is it repeating? I was trying to find a clue in your story, and all I came up with was the guy at the stable. And why is Heyes aware of the repetition? Your writing has drawn me into this story, and I am looking forward to the continuation.

Stepha3nie -- another one.  Again I am impressed by all these very short tales -- so sad.

HannaHeyes -- oh lol.  What no prognosticating rodents?  Something tells me Heyes is going to become quite the roofer before ever they leave Destiny's Loop (great name) -- or should that be Punxsutawney?  What a clever take on the movie that inspired your story.

Distant Drums -  Love a flashing eye, hope the teeth flash after the visit to the dentist too!

Stepha3anie - Oh, Danny Bilson!  Yes, that was necessary and probably saved more lives

Keays - Yes, they must have got down as the time dragged on, nice snapshot.

Stepha3nie (2) - Very dramatic!  Let's hope this is the opening lines of a story as I'd like to read more of this.

Hannaheyes - I started looking out for what movie this inspired right away and was running all kinds of westerns through my mind.  Once I knew I re-read and thought there were so many inspired touches, including the start of the day and the annoying cockerel.  Absolutely adored it.  Original, funny and inspired. 

Distant Drums -  Can't blame Heyes.  Nobody likes the dentist

Stepha3anie (1) - Another short, sharp punch from choosing a powerful moment.  Good job.

Keays - A moment of pensive thought.  Was it worth going for amnesty?  I hope so or we would have to re-write a whole lot of stories!

Stepha3nie (2) - No, he's not shot is he?  If he kept up that life it was bound to happen one day.

Hannaheyes - Loved this story and I can't say I've ever read one like it.  What a terrible day they had and I can't see that roof being fixed anytime soon.  I wonder how long it will take them to realise?  Loved the wake up and the name of the town among so many other good lines.

Distant Drums, Stepha3anie, and Keays - all great little flashes of genius.  Enjoyed them all, funny, dramatic, tragic - and in so few words.  Very clever.

Hannaheyes - looks like we are in for a few more days of winter yet.  So enjoyed the originality of this one, from the terrible jobs and how they decided who did what, to the "BANG"  "SQUAAAWWKK..."  You really nailed it with the name of the town too, "Destiny Loop."  You gave us a day that not only wasn't necessary, they get to do it all over again.

Stepaha3nie:
This one is tragic, sad, and full of regret. How do you convey all that in just 19 words?

Hannaheyes:
Oh, I am looking forward to reading the rest of this story. I loved the movie your referred to, and seeing it's ASJ version come to life in your entry is a kick. So many interesting details. I can't help but wonder what's up with the man in the stable, and how you will bring this all together. Great story, HH!

Keays: You manage to pack a lot into these few words. Trouble brewing for some time, an attempt to set things right between the partners and Heyes' answer, which sounds to me like he is giving up hope. And you manage to leave it open for interpretations. What has been a year? Waiting for amnesty comes to mind immediately. Or maybe they already have amnesty and things still have not changed much for them? 

Hannaheyes: Great idea. Loved the movie, really like what you have written so far and I am now of course eagerly awaiting where you will take this. I expect (as others have mentioned) that Heyes will probably become very good at fixing barn roofs. Or will he figure out a way to switch roles, persuade the Kid to do both jobs together (no splitting up), decide that there are mysteries to solve (who is the robber, what is going on at the mine)?
Have to admit that I am most curious to find out why the time loop started, what Heyes has done or needs to change about himself. After all, Kid does not seem affected by the time loop. Heyes really should have learned by now to trust Kid's feelings of unease about a place, especially with such an unusual name!
Some great lines - you had me cracking up from the start, when Kid complained about sleeping on soggy ground and Heyes generously offered "I'll find you a rock to sleep on."
The morning wake-up call is also great. Western alarm clock.

Ha ha ha...Joke's on me.  I was waiting to finish off last month's stories until I had a big block of time to sit down and enjoy them.  You ladies have been the souls of brevity!!

Stepha3nie #1:  So Gringa did a throwdown you couldn't resist?  This put me in mind of present day celebrities who achieve the goals and fame they've desired, but can't handle the attention it brings them.

Remuda: After the Kid shot Bilson in the Smiler, he was so terse at the end with Heyes. It seemed so out of character, but it makes sense that he was just holding it together and would brood later.

Distant Drums:  Ow!  I know how we all love to hurt them, but was the dentist really necessary?

Stepha3nie #2:  There's not much else that can be said, is there?  Bilson made it all necessary.

Keays:  So simple and brief, but it made me think about their disappointment, skepticism, and discouragement.

Stepha3nie #3:  No, you can hurt them, you can maim them, but you can't outright kill them!!!!

HannaHeyes:  Be careful who you rob, LOL!!!  So Heyes got his own version of Groundhog's Day?  I just bet he gives the Kid a thousand reasons not to take those jobs.

Insideoutlaw - A great take on 'Bump In The Night' and it certainly fits the prompt to a 't'.  I do love the cycle where the Kid is talking down and angry Heyes, it's so on the nose and so very well-written as well as being amusing.  Heyes was never going to let this offence to his dignity lie, but I love the denouement.  In one very smart way, Heyes' opponent was clever enough to stay one step ahead.  He was able to live a relatively normal life, but on the other hand, we're not writing stories about him!    Loved it.    

Javabee - What a beautiful, haunting story.  It is full of love and wisdom; but more than that, it is left open so that we can make up our minds what is going on rather than being told.  It is that very vagueness which makes this story so rich as it draws the reader in to interpret, making the whole interaction between reader and writer so much more active than just allowing the story to wash over us.  I like to think of this little family getting a bit of 'extra' help to repay their kindness.  I love stories where there is a level of interpretation.  Loved it.  

Ah, great stories coming in now.

Silverkelpie -- as usual a wonderful, haunting tale from you.  I like the light heartedness at the beginning (really -- "Heyes cast out a hand - a real one this time" -- puns?), yet the story progressively gets darker and darker -- the writing matching the changing mood.  I won't reveal the end, but goodness...

InsideOutlaw -- YAY! The end of the tale is a good as the beginning.  I like the parallels between Heyes and Will, which serve to highlight their differences as well.  Great finish.

Javabee -- a very different take on the prompt.  Well written and interesting.  Yes, meeting folks like these could get our ex-outlaws wishing for families (and you managed to reference their past without getting maudlin -- congratulations).

Riders:
This story was new to me, so I had no idea what was really going on (until it was revealed). You set the tone perfectly throughout, very melancholy, with a gnawing feeling that something was not quite right with Muddy Gap (great name). Your ending was very sad and poignant, no wonder the boys were silent on their way out of town. I would definitely poll this one.  

Riders:  You started us off with an excellent tale for the spooky month of October.  Great descriptive writing throughout and a nice twist at the end.  Poor Clancy haunting Muddy Gap when his wife and daughter are ready to join him.  I'll bet the inhabitants of that town get real nervous when the rain starts on that night. 

Javabee:  Another great seasonal tale.  You built up to the ending slowly with excellent characterizations and discreet descriptions that led us to the conclusion.  I loved the quotes at the end, too.  A very timely tale on keeping your heart and mind open to the possibilities.  Beautifully done!!

Silverkelpie:
You managed to take a honeymooning couple who were obviously smitten with each other, and put them in such an evil environment that the loving husband became murderous!! Your sumptuous description of the depressing and eclectic place, made me feel like it was perfectly plausible that someone could have been driven mad there. There is nothing scarier than a creepy doll that seems to have a life of its own. Wonderfully written and truly haunting, perfect for the season. The ending made me shiver. Loved it, SK.

InsideOutlaw:
It is so great that Kid is the one that pointed Heyes in the right direction towards coming up with a plan; I love it when the Kid is written to have brains too. By the end of the story I am thinking that Will was really the savvy one, with the smarts to know when to quit and how far to go with his outlawing.
I am wondering if the name Mark Clemens was intentionally a cross between Mark Twain and Samuel Clemens. And finally, I want to know who made Kid's coffee in the first paragraph. Whoever it was did not get the memo about egg shells and percolators. Loved your story, IO!

LOL, Javabee, I'm busted on the coffee making!  Yes, Mark Clemens was intentional.  The Kid sees Heyes reading Twain all the time so it just floated in his head (and mine.)  Thanks for the kind comments.

Thanks for all the kind comments.  I have seen Hugo, Insideoutlaw, but it didn't inspire this.  It's been bubbling for a while. 

Riders - Oh, I remember this and was very happy to read this great story again.  Poor Clancy, suffering such a haunting loss.  This sounds so much like the real ghost story you hear on historical tours.   It has the feel of poignant love and loss about it.


Silverkelpie - Oh!  So very scary and it could so easily be a play, with all that spiralling tension and madness.  It was very visual.  I thought it apt that the Kid picked up on undertones of danger with his sharp instincts, but oh!  The end!!!    


Insideoutlaw - I laughed out loud at the Kid's alias, that was great!  The Kid was the sensible one in this, keeping Heyes' temper from spiralling out of control, and he was right to trick his way into their confidence like he did.  I loved the twist at the end about anonimity.  Will was smart.  He could melt into the background whenever he wanted but I'm betting he wasn;t much of a looker, huh?


Javabee -   Beautifully haunting and poignant in the best ways.  I loved that the mystery was left to us.  I definitley think they had help.  At least that's what I like to think; in any case you paint a wonderful picture of the quiet strength of frontier women.  Loved it.


Keays -  I loved this snippet from 'Ghosts.'  It was a very touching and painful scene, but it shows the turtured mind of the man's subconscious trying to work his way through the pain and confusion as he tries to piece his life together.  It certainly fits the prompt and we've all had that suffocating dream too!

Keays - Oh!  What an atmospheric and descriptive piece of writing from you for Hallow'een and perfect for the prompt.  Definitely enough to bump you out of bed for the night.

Hunkeydorey - Yes, I remember this one and it certainly fits the prompt.  Great research on the Victorian mourning jewellery and a stark analysis of love and hate mixed together.  That poor man tried not to blame the child but his pain showed.  It just goes to show, children always know when something is wrong.