Applause and Feedback

Silverkelpie: Heyes makes a great detective on this murder mystery train, putting together the clues as deftly as the great Sherlock himself. I loved the discussion about his "lopsided" face. (Another great mystery has always been how such an asymmetrical, oddly put together face could end up being so handsome and mesmerizing). Your historical research adds so much to the story, as always. I looked up some of the historical info on women's "monthly visitor" and was aghast at some of what I found.   I've never heard brows described as looking like milky-coffee before, quite descriptive. Very clever, ending up with the "butler" doing it after all.  Well done, and enjoyable as usual. Thanks for a great series, SK. I've really enjoyed it!

Riders57: I have to say you made the wear and tear of dodging a posse seem very real; Heyes exhaustion was palpable. He was eventually able to leave the haunting specter of his past behind, but only after meeting up with the one person that is always there for him, his cousin. The story of their lives is really a sad tale of lost dreams and innocence. Wonderful application of the prompt.The amnesty trail doesn't bring any relief, yet you managed to leave us with them smiling. Very bittersweet and well done. Thanks, Riders.

Keays: Wow, this reads as if it was written especially for this prompt! Knowing what is in store for poor Heyes, it's actually kind of hard to read this. I guess all's well that ends well, but man, did you put him through the wringer to get there. Another great chapter. I am being tempted to start reading ToF from the beginning again. As you say, I will need to acquire snacks for the duration. And coffee, of course. Maybe even a masseuse! :study:

Riders - You really caught the air of a man weary from dodging the law in this.  I could really feel the fatigue creep over me as the words settled into my psyche.  This was a very poignant and melancholic tale of a tired Heyes facing the world.  Right from the very start when he only just caught the train and came up against the conductor who encapsulates the way they have been treat by authority in general in just a few lines.  It was full of so many little observational touches which really brought this journey to life for me.  Another beautifully crafted story from you. 

Keays - It's amazing how many prompts excerpts from 'Twist of Fate' can fit.  I think I'd have to give you a prompt like 'The Day the Robots invaded' before I'd stump you!  This was one of the memorable scenes from the story and captures the juxtaposition between the boy her was and the criminal he'd become so very well. 

Nancy Whiskey - Very poignant and bittersweet!  This little moment really caught the spirit of regret for men who could not have a joy of being close to children of their own, robbed by their own criminal behaviour.  Great nickname for the child too, 'Little Pickens.'

Keays -- I'm always impressed by how you can match snippets of TOF that can stand alone -- at least as a vignette -- and still meet the challenge.

Nancy Whiskey -- very descriptive of the poor little boy and his mother's dismay until the happy reunion -- at least for them.  Very bittersweet.

Bluebelle -   We all hate those suits and now you give us a great reason to hate them even more.  This was so funny and you caught Heyes at his grumpy best.  Loved the crack about the hat being attacked by a dog, because we know he actually did that with his hat.  If only we could see the boys in lovely new suits.  Yes.  That suit never did fit well!  Loved it.

Bluebelle: 
Ah, yes, the suits we love to hate. What a fun story. Very funny reference to the magical ability of those suits to spring forth from those saddlebags in a pristine, unwrinkled state. I also laughed at the line about trying to stay away from wearing suits with "stripes". You captured a disgruntled Heyes beautifully. Loved this story, it gave me my chuckle for the day.  
 

Bluebelle ~ You struck a good note with this, summing up the boys and the little Jewish tailor perfectly.
Lots of gentle humour and I loved the bit about the magical anti-crease quality of their old suits.  A lovely story, thanks.

Bluebelle -- very cute.  Love the explanation of what's causing Heyes' headaches.  My favorite lines are probably:  "It fits like a glove," "Sure, but it's supposed to fit like a suit."

RosieAnnie -- you are a master (mistress just doesn't sound right) of the missing scene.  I always did wonder what happened when Grant and Gaines got loose, or found.  I'd love to read your take on why Wade Sawyer knows the our boys.

EvaHanley:
I always love it when I read one of the challenges and learn something new from the author's research. I don't know where I've been, but I have never heard of the Greek picture brides. Mail order brides, yes, but this seemed very different. In this short story you managed to convey the hardship of their past and the bleak insecurity of their future. Insert our boys, who have recently found their consciences, and make them watch the trauma a train robbery inflicts upon these women. They find themselves wondering if the hardship of being on the run will be enough to bring them atonement for their past deeds. You skillfully packed a lot of depth of emotion into your story Eva, and it was a pleasure to read it. I am so glad your posted!

Great little story, Bluebelle. It's always fun to see Heyes forced to learn something. Oh, the stubborn man. I do wish he could have gotten a new suit. So much better looking - and surely more comfortable. . . . I hate to tell you, but Americans don't say inside leg. We call it an inseam. I wouldn't even have know what you were talking about if I hadn't watched Are You Being Served?
HW

SilverKelpie, what a haunting story! I do like to think our boys would do what they could for someone in needs, even if she did turn them in. They must have been on their way to going straight soon after that - thinking of others. But the way others treat her? All too familiar in our society.
HW

EvaHanley, that's beautiful! I can totally see where the boys would feel terrible to watch someone already in such a hard situation facing the depredations of outlaws like they used to be. It really shows you the change they have experienced and how differently they see the world. And yet, they are unable to help these ladies. That would be punishment in itself - to want to help, now that they are on the right side of the law, and to be unable to do it. In those days there must have been countless brides in this country from many other countries who were marrying for something other than love and looking forward to something other than happiness. Marriage for love was too rare a luxury. Thank you for a glimpse into another time whose misery is still with too many people in this world.
HW

Helen West - Thanks Helen.  I'm going to go with the fact that my tailor came from Essex, like me.  Only kidding!  Made the change and thanks for letting me know.

Silverkelpie - I never saw that coming!  You still manage to surprise us with your mysteries, which is a huge part of the fun.  Loved the ending and thank you for entertaining us with yet another wonderful mystery.

Riders - This seemed very real in the way you caught Heyes' mood so well.  The drifting in and out of memories, good and bad, was such a wonderful device for telling this melancholy tale, but you still left us on an optimistic note at the end.

Keays- Laughed at Sliverkelpie's comments about robots, but she is right.  There does seem to be a font of challenges from your epic and this fits perfectly.  The little boy seems to represent all of the prisoner's lost innocence.  I also agree that this should be polled, you're jumping in and playing, after all.

Nancy Whiskey - Little Pickens seems to be another child who represents something lost; the chance to settle down and have a family of their own.  Great bittersweet tale, Nancy and I loved the last line.

RosieAnnie - What a great missing scene and a great idea for a story.  I reallly enjoyed the twists snd turns in this and I really felt sorry for Grant and Gaines.  Loved it.

Eva Hanley - What an original premise and I had never heard about the picture brides.  I do love it when people teach me about areas I'd never heard about.  This caught the moment when Heyes was confronted with the consequences of their own actions so very well and he was suitably asshamed.  Great story, Eva and I look forward to more original takes from you.

Silverkelpie - Wow, what a first line!  It told us so much about this poor, stepped-upon, but respectable, woman in just a  few beautifully crafted words.  Yes, you made the boys realistically bad with the veiled threat not to turn them in again along with the carrot of the lawmen's own money.  This trod the line between telling us about them as criminals but still having a bit of decency.  Loved the line about men who failed to respect women being grown 'straight out of the dirt' and I'd have thrown the keys down the well too.

Ah yes, the end of the month brings so many good stories to read.

EvaHanley -- I love how the various members bring their experiences and background to the stories.  You create a vivid picture of the fear of these women traveling to a new land, hoping for something better than the despair they left behind, but unsure -- it could be even worse.

Silverkelpie -- a very sad, atmospheric piece.  As others have said you created such world.  Excellent writing as always from you.

Javabee -- glad you are continuing this story.  It sounds as if Heyes may have something more than the gem to trade for his partner.  Looking forward to the continuation.

Remuda -- glad you've gone back to your Hopping Trains saga.  An excellent set up and reminder that our boys have lost each other, with Jed searching for that needle in a haystack.  But a needle can be easier to find if the two haystacks are connected as they seem to be here.  Hoping you finish this story.  As usual your ear (fingers?) for dialogue creates different characters just from the speech patterns.

Bluebelle - Do I detect a touch of 'Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width?'  Loved this.  You had so many funny lines, and the take on the prompt was very original.  I can only hope that Heyes bought a new suit, for our sakes as much as his.  Can they find another that will react with the magic saddlebags to never crease?  It's a risk, but one worth taking.
 
RosieAnnie -  Grant and Gaines are a great idea for a missing scene.  This is as well-written as always and you really had me feeling sorry for the poor souls.  The dialogue, as ever, really drew me in and made me invest in the characters.  Will you come back and let us know how they fare from here?  I hope so.  
 
Eva Hanley -  So you played with the timeline?  Who cares when it gives us a story as good as this?  There is so much to love in this tale; the originality, the premise and the fact that these women got passed Hannibal Heyes' silver tongue without saying a word to him.  I love the new perspectives the each member brings to the site and I look forward to reading a lot more from you as our little gang continue to have fun.
 
Javabee - Oh, the next thrilling instalment, and this is really building into a classic.  I loved the cunning Heyes, underplaying to pose as the book keeper.  Now, what did he find in the filing cabinet and what will happen when Heyes and Mrs. Parker finally meet?  I'm on tenterhooks!
 
Remuda - I'm so glad that you continued with 'Hoping Trains' and you really drew me in with the propective deserter around?  How is that going to impact on little Hannibal Heyes and how are the two boys going to finally meet up?  The dialogue rings as true as a beautiful bell, as always.  Really hoping you keep this up and continue with this tale.

RosieAnnie - Clever idea, and it all fitted really well.  You fleshed out the characters wonderfully and made us care about them.  A good read that got the mind ticking.  Thanks

EvaHanley ~ What a charming story, and I loved the twist that the boys themselves were being held up just like general public.  As for the timeline, a good story is a good story.  I really enjoyed reading this.  Well done.

Silverkelpie: A very satisfying conclusion to your story. Heyes' "irritating affected charm" is so wonderfully descriptive. Cassie's story about what Jeffrey said to her as part of his proposal is heartbreaking. The information about feminine hygiene is interesting and makes me even more happy that I was born in the 20th century. I hope you'll post the entire story together, so I can go back to the beginning and see what clues you laid.

Riders 57: I never thought it could happen, but you showed us a way that Hannibal Heyes would not be very attractive. Without flirting or conversation to distract him, it'd be easy to slip into memories. Love that little bit at the end where Kid goes to drape an arm around Heyes' shoulders, presumably gets a whiff of Heyes' unique aroma, and picks up the saddle instead.

Keays: I always enjoy Twist of Fate. Good to revisit it, and this excerpt fits the prompt. The encounter with the little boy was poignant.

Nancy Whiskey: A preview, maybe, of the life the boys hope for? A family, a snot-nosed little kid? Why not? Kid's right; sometimes work is better than thinking about the things you may never have.

Bluebelle: it should fit like a suit, not like a glove! Who knew that tight in such a sensitive place could cause headaches? I love Ira Rosen. Look at the shmutter! Good new character. Too many good lines to count: have you ever seen a naked jaybird? Heyes gets a new suit. Now if only Ira can get him to buy a new hat.

Eva Hanley: The whole prospect of being a mail order bride must have been terrifying. Were the white muslin gowns their wedding dresses? And to be robbed, too. Heyes and Curry saw how awful robbery was through their eyes. You conveyed a lot of emotion in a few words. Nicely done.

Silverkelpie: You overachiever! Poor Mary. What an awful life. She certainly had no loyalty to the lawmen, after the way they treated her. I, too, enjoyed the thought of those lousy representatives of law and order cooling their heels in their own jail. The boys were generous, but they also showed their bad man side -- using the threat of the Devil's Hole Gang to get what they wanted.

Javabee: thanks for this next chapter. I'm totally wrapped up in this story. I have to go back and read why the store has nothing on its shelves. Mr. Blake is six kinds of fool, luckily for Heyes. And who's the sly dog? Is it Mr. Blake? I want more!

Remuda: I'm looking forward to seeing all the chapters of the Hopping Trains story in one place. I want to refresh my memory and see if I can figure out where you're taking this. Yes, I'm totally drawn in. So much loss and longing here. And now, it looks like the new companions our heroes have found are not totally safe. More, please!

Silverkelpie:
Your characterization of the boys leaves no doubt that they were criminals, and yet their common decency is really what defines them. The poverty and struggle of the woman's life seemed all too realistic. Thank goodness she had her run in with our "very good bad guys"  instead of other, less forgiving outlaws, or I dare say it would not have ended as well for her. Loved reading this great little story!

Remuda: Your characters are very colorful, and come to life with each of their unique ways of speaking. Can't help but wonder how the boys will finally meet up and how their new acquaintances will impact them. I, too, would like to know where to find your other stories in this series. Love the tone of this story.

Javabee - You really have me hooked with this story and it's building so well.  I can't wait to see the meeting between Heyes and the woman who appears to be his match.  More than the meeting, I'm looking forward to the clash between the two.  I think sparks will fly and I can't wait for the next part!


Remuda - I love this story and I'd really appreciate it if you could post it together or tell me where I can read it all.  One little taster of this has left me wanting more.  This has it all; lost boys, a mysterious deserter, people who may not be entirely good for the children and all told in sparkling dialogue.  Loved it!