Applause and Feedback

Thanks for your very kind words, RosieAnnie.  You always worry with a mystery that it's either totally impenetrable or too easy; and either of those can stop people enjoying it.  If anyone wants to read the whole story together, it's on here in it's entirety under "Hunter's Moon -What The Butler Saw" in the 'stories by Sarah Whyment thread'

https://aliassmithandjones.canadian-forum.com/t293-hunter-s-moon-what-the-butler-saw

Thanks to all for the lovely comments on my challenge entry.  I don't plan on posting the story in its entirety as one piece until it is done, as it's a work in progress subject to ongoing editing to keep it a cohesive whole.  I've provided it to those who have asked to see it, so please PM me if you would like it in its present form as well (slightly different from what was previously posted); however, it will continue to change from where it is now.  I ask only that you keep it for yourself and do not share it, especially outside of this forum.  Thx.

SILVERKELPIE;So, as stated by others; a butler actually did do it. Trust you to put a twist like that on the story!
Heyes' face is lopsided is it? Well I could have told you that! Dumas must have been an excellent artist if he actually got Heyes to look like Heyes. Hope they destroyed the drawing--more's the pity.
Loved your historical notes. Very interesting conclusion to another great mystery.

RIDERS57; Interesting train ride for Heyes. So it's not only the Kid who gets tripped up by railroad schedules. I liked how you worked in the flashbacks and of course, that got me thinking that the face in the window was perhaps a flash forward.

NANCYWHISKEY; Oh yes, Kid's getting all paternal on us. A sign of things to come? Cute little story. Your descriptions of the child really made me glad that Jed was holding him and not me! Well done.

BLUEBELLE; Amazing what a suit can do, for good or bad. One with stripes huh? Yeah, best to stay away from that one.
Of course we all know it was a horse who battered Heyes' hat. Unless we're talking real life here. Then it was a dog or two!

ROSIEANNIE; There's only one thing I can say about this story; Sometimes life just don't play fair! Always enjoy the 'missing scenes' stories. They really help to fill in a lot of gaps.

EVAHANLEY; This was an interesting tale. The anxiety of the women was very well written. Even before the robbery we know they were feeling out of place and uncomfortable.
Then seeing the fear caused by the robbery really brings it home to the boys just how much damage they had actually done during their own crime spree.
Always nice to get a bit of a history lesson too.

SILVERKELPIE; You certainly got us feeling for poor Mary. She's one of so many women who find themselves abandoned and struggling just to make ends meet. Then society itself turns on them as though their situations are their fault!
Kudos to the boys for recognizing her plight and giving her some hope and some money! How fitting for the local law to end up locked in their own jail cell!

JAVABEE; Oh finally! The next installment. This is a great story you've got got going here. Heyes has arrived in town undercover and gotten his first look at his nemesis. Or perhaps that should be the other way around.
Mrs. Parker doesn't know it yet, but her life just got a whole lot more complicated.
Looking forward to Heyes' visit out to the ranch and what he finds there. This is getting good.

REMUDA; I had forgotten all about this story line, but pleased to see you continuing it. Both boys seem to have landed in relatively safe company at least for now. Things could be a whole lot worse.
I hope you carry on with this story now that you've whetted our appetites again.

Thank you all very much for your lovely comments. To answer a couple of questions that were raised : the concept of Greek, Balkan and Slavic Europe picture brides is the same as mail order brides. The difference as I understand it is that picture brides were selected via a network of families and local communities:  prospective immigrant husbands would entrust their parents remained back home, or the village council from their place of origin to select a bride and "negotiate" with her family. So, even before traveling, the women were bound by word to their future husbands. While in America most of the "old country" customs were abandoned, the word exchanged between families and the sense of family honor would still  weigh heavily on these women to make them obediently accept all the scary aspects of their predicament. Later on whole networks of intermediaries were also developed, pushing the US authorities to even suspect slavery networks and have female detective agents follow the larger dispatches of brides.
The white muslin gowns in the stories were indeed their wedding gowns, which were traditionally made by the girls themselves during their adolescence in view of their future marriage.

Silverkelpie -- Yay! You've brought Tibby back.  Great story.   So many lines -- and imagery:  "pools of swimming despair."  I love the "It's like having a goat." and have always enjoyed the line that "Wet Paint" is not an instruction.  You did lose me on "Stirrin' little tramp."  What's "stirring" mean in this context?  Can't wait for the tale to be finished.

NancyWhiskey    There I was reading along, thinking this was going to be another multi-parter and really enjoying the descriptions of Abner.  I did recognize the type of painting at the first description, but the punchline is so groanworthy hilarious.

Hi Riders - A stirrer is one who stirs up trouble.  I have googled it and 'sh*t stirrer' does appear as something in use in the USA.  'stirrer' is a politer version, cleaned up for our gang's delicate sensibilities.  Is that something I need to amend?  Please let me know.  What should I call him?  Thanks for all you kind words, Riders.  Feedback of all kinds is always appreciated.

Heavens -- no reason to change the word on my account.  Just because I didn't know it doesn't mean others won't recognize it (like that triple negative there?).  I thesaurused 'troublemaking" and none read as well:  disruptive, unruly were the best but really use whatever word fits.

Silverkelpie ~ Love the character of Tibby.  Sneaky, opportunist and slimey.  I thought the line "It's like owning a goat." sums him up perfectly.  The boys are on high alert, and I think, considering the way your story is developing is they definitely need to be.  Great read.

Riders ~ Great story - the boys were trying to fall on the right side even then, but still willing to gamble.  A good life lesson.

Nancy Whiskey - The happiest of all groans to you for that last line and top marks for an original take on the prompt.  Great visuals and your description of the paining made it sparkle in my mind's eye.       Loads of fun.


Riders -  Great to see this dusted off as it fits the prompt perfectly.  The defiant pride of the little boys comes across so well as does the slightly unsavoury nature of the conman.  You tread the line in portraying the difference between the protector and user perfectly.  Loved it.  That looming jeopardy really grips   

Silverkelpie ~ I thought your use of names (especially the sister) was great, and brought a grin to my face.  Terrifically well written, and good fun.

My favourite line had to be "That's quite a mother you got there, Mine got me a ball once."

Silverkelpie: 
There is obviously much more to Tibby than meets the eye. Everywhere he goes he gets into trouble, and you would think that our boys would steer clear of him considering their situation. And yet, the way you have developed his character is so intriguing that even the boys can not resist tagging after him to see what's up. I think your readers feel the same, I know I do! More, please.  

Nancy Whiskey:
This is the first time I have seen a wart described as "cheery" and it worked perfectly at helping us get a visual on this wonderful character, Abner. As far as your punch line goes, very clever! I didn't see it coming and I laughed out loud when it landed. Thanks for giving me my chuckle of the day! 

Riders:
This is a new story to me and it's so perfect it seems written just to fit the prompt. I always wondered how Soapy got his name and now it all makes sense. He was a bit of a "very good bad guy" himself, wasn't he? Willing to con the socks off the townsfolk, but not willing to take the last penny from a couple of destitute boys, instead giving them a meal and a job. A thief with "heart", so to speak. Could his influence have been why the boys turned out the way they did? Glad you "dusted" this one off, Riders. Great story.
 

Silverkelpie -- definitely the more stories the merrier -- so glad the bunny hopped for you on this second story.  Were you perhaps hungry when writing this?  Bean, Bacon, Butters.  A very cute story and Cecil was the fool wasn't he?  Great fit to the prompt and a fun read.

InsideOutlaw -- so glad you wrote.  The tension in the crowd and the con as the man found he couldn't fool young Jed was wonderful.  So this is the first showing of what makes the Kid such a fast shot, huh?  Enjoyed it.

Silverkelpie:
A second entry? Yay! Your characters are so colorful; you have portrayed Cecil as the perfect frustrated Mama's boy. Imagining Heyes wearing a clerical collar was interesting.
That would be quite the con (there goes a bunny, shades of Thorn Birds with Richard Chamberlain as Father Ralph). Loved the line "people who say money can't buy happiness don't know where to spend it." Your stories are always a pleasure!
 

InsideOutlaw:
Because this was a "gaming" type of con, I really thought that Heyes was the one that was going to shine in this story. But no, you turned it around on us and highlighted the Kid. He was fast, he was focused, and he was smart. Definitely the precursor to becoming a fast draw, and Heyes didn't miss the implications. Very well written and I loved it!
 

InsideOutlaw ~ a great story and a fresh take on the old shell game.  The conman made a big mistake patronising the young Curry, and his lightening reflexes were definitely a sign of things to come.

I know I'm behind times, but I'm enjoying working my way through last month's challenges.

SK:  An excellent finish to another one of your great mysteries.  But really, the butler did it?  LOL!

Riders:  What an uncomfortable trip Heyes has to endure to reach his partner.  There's lots of good description here, but my favorite has to be the one of Heyes covered head to toe with encrusted mud.  I'm guessing that he didn't recognize himself in the window.

Keays:  This is my all-time favorite scene from TOF.  It really stuck with me and I think it illustrates how far Heyes has alienated himself from the norm and how he's just beginning to realize the true consequences of his choices.  

NancyWhiskey:  It's easy to forget what normal is and to not miss the things that have passed you by until you are faced with them.  Very bittersweet.


Bluebelle:  LOL.  Who knew that bad tailoring could do so much harm?  

RosieAnnie:  So that's what happened to Grant and Gaines.  They were victims of habitually bad timing.  Very clever as always!

Javabee:   I'm enjoying this series.  Mrs. Parker makes a great adversary for Heyes and I'm looking forward to them clashing.  I loved Heyes' refusal to accept his own role in the town's woes--that how he got to be who he is!

Remuda:  Another intriguing chapter.  Thanks for staying with this story.  Cager is an interesting character and I'm looking forward to seeing him revealed.  So he's displaying Heyes' characteristics?  This makes me wonder if a confrontation is coming.

EvaHanley:  It's poetic justice to have the boys see a robbery from the victim's perspective.  A very interesting note about the Greek picture brides, too.  The building of the West involved the sacrafice of so many people from so many cultures.  

SK:  Poor Mary, victimized by the law and threatened by outlaws.  She's fully aware of being used by both sides, but has to be pragmatic about her survival.

Okay, onto this month...

SK:  I'm so glad to see Tibby again and hear that you are continuing on with his story.  He's a great character.  Thanks for posting this to refresh our memories.

NancyWhiskey:  Shame on you for that last line!  Snort.  Abner was a fun character and very well drawn.  I'd love to see more of him.

Riders:  I loved this version of how the boys met Soapy and how he took them under his wing.  Nicely done!

SK:  You've been a very busy girl!  Lots of funny dialogue in this story, but my favorite has to be:  “I’ll tell you what the difference is,” Hannibal Heyes’ mellifluous tones murmured in the stranger’s prominent ear.  “Acting stupid is drinking downstream from the herd.  Being stupid is pulling a gun on a man without making sure you know where his partner is.” A gloved hand stretched over and took the colt from the man’s hand.  “One is temporary; the other could be real permanent.” 
Great last line, too!

RosieAnnieUSA:
I always thought this one would make a good continuation and I am so glad your muse decided to have you type it out for us, lol. Lom will make a quite an adversary for the boys, I hope they know what they are doing because they may have met their match in him. Very clever of Soapy sending multiple telegrams. I am so looking forward to more!  

Whoopee!  Lot's of new stories to enjoy.

RosieAnnie -- so you're continuing this.  Good.  I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.  In this installment I think you captured Soapy Saunders' character very well.

Keays -- So Heyes is a 'nephew' too, huh?  An interesting take on the prompt.  I really enjoyed the line:  "Give a man money and you rob him of his sense."

Javabee -- another ongoing story.  Looking forward to see where you take this and how you rescue the Kid.  Don't apologize for where you left off -- who can object to a naked hunk of an outlaw?