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 Applause and Feedback

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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Oct 25, 2015 10:09 pm

Hunkeydorey2 - A great picture of the boys as children, but a glimpse into the family dynamics as led by a formidable Irish mother was even better.  I thought she was going to lay that women out at one point, but she found a clever way to get her revenge and to show her how little the people in the town thought of her.  Very clever and lots of fun.

Keays - Honeymoon is such a lovely take on the prompt, especially with such a lovely romantic scene, like the one you show here.  You have put the poor man through so much, it's wonderful to see him settled and happy.

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Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 26, 2015 12:06 am

HD2 - Love the idea of moon flowers! I saw some blooming once, opening as you watch, and I couldn't take my eyes off of them. A bunch of us stood there and just ooed and ahed over every blossom. Little boys would love them just as much. It's a great glimpse into the families that produced our beloved boys. Spirited all the way, in more ways than one! ;) Yes, I'm afraid Heyes would always be around mischief. And the Kid not far behind. It's a shame that Irish mother of his couldn't stick around to laugh at all the ways the boys kept making fools of foolish people as adults. She must be smiling down (or maybe up) at them all through their mis-spent lives.
HW
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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 26, 2015 12:10 am

Keays - that's really lovely. Gosh, one would never know that you're happily married yourself. ;) It's great to see him and his lady finally so happy together. You bring all kinds of insights to it.
HW
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Remuda

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 26, 2015 12:16 am

Hunkeydorey2
Good on Mrs. Curry at getting back at the witch.  Loved her plan and how she's showing the scheming apples didn't fall too far from the tree.  What a hoot!

Keays
Lovely sentiments on marriage combined with an evocative moonrise.  Nicely done!

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Hunkeydorey

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Oct 26, 2015 8:21 am

Keays - You paint beautiful pictures with your words in this snippet from your story.  Heyes is happy, settled and secure in this, and he deserves it at last. Lovely.
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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Oct 28, 2015 10:35 am

Helen West - Thanks for playing.  A recital by Mark Twain would be catnip to the ex-outlaw and a meeting between the two men is a dream come true.   I particularly loved the phrase, "Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody; you have to slip round behind if you want to see it."  Loved the historical notes too. applause

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Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
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Remuda

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Oct 28, 2015 9:54 pm

Helen West
Lovely account of a dream meeting for both sides.  Well written and told.  Absolutely adore the Twain phrase already quoted by SK, as well as the historical notes.  I’ve seen video of Hal Holbrook as Mark Twain – a totally classic performance.  Well done!

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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Oct 29, 2015 11:43 am

HunkeyDorey:  I remember this story and still got a chuckle re-reading it.  Love the Kid's answer to the teacher and the lesson Heyes learned from it.  You created a great character in the sheriff, it would be interesting to see more of him at some point when RL calms down for you.

Silverkelpie:  Interesting story.  I had an idea of where it was heading early on but still enjoyed the Halloween tale of Charlie Moon.  A great ending.
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skykomish

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Oct 31, 2015 2:16 am

Trying to catch up with reading and commenting.

Stepha3nie -This piece is beautiful and bittersweet.  I loved this description:  A sudden gust of wind brought him back to the present, blowing the images away like autumn leaves.  You captured Wheat very well.  The story makes me wonder just what happened, but you certainly told enough of the tale to communicate your point.  I liked this very much.  It is very touching.

Hunkeydorey - I think I remember reading this story.  It sure is a lot of fun.  The sheriff is a great character.  I enjoyed his fun with words and stories.  His excitement about the word "fiduciary" made me chuckle.  The ax line at the end is wonderful.

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When you put your hand in a flowing stream, you touch the last that has gone before and the first of what is still to come.
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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Oct 31, 2015 4:36 pm

Skykomish - you have such a light touch with descriptions, just enough to place the reader in an evocative scene, but not so much that you feel it's being built around you with hammer and nails.  Great to see the boys still working as a pair to take down the bullying gunman.  I can completely understand Sarah's reluctance to take them at face value, but great to see the unit that she and her husband have become.  The later part was bittersweet and lovely, with a sense of loss and the realisation of the implications of bad choices hitting the boys, but with just the right balance of hope too.  Loved it.

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Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Oct 31, 2015 5:33 pm

HunkeyDorey II:  lol.  Love your sense of humor.  Young Hannibal obviously learned a great deal from his friend's mother.  Mrs. Curry is quite a schemer in her own right.

Keays:  a quiet scene in a special place.  Very well suited to the prompt.

HelenWest:  An interesting encounter.  So each got something from the meeting.  Also, I always enjoy historical notes at the end of a story, and my great grandparents and my grandmother met Sameuel Clemons a few times, (he was friends with one of their friends and they helped out when he visited), so I really enjoy this special meeting.

Skykomish:  I'm glad you're continuing this story.  The scene on the porch was lovely and touching, regrets for what has happened yet hopeful for the future.  I'm looking forward to the continuation of your story.
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Hunkeydorey

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Oct 31, 2015 7:13 pm

Helen West - This was just beautifully written and showed us a man who has a wife who understands him completely.  I also loved the line about the dark side of the moon, and you wrote a tired and slightly grumpy Twain to perfection.  How we all wish that Mark Twain could have written this biography!  It would be a classic.  The historical notes add to it to make it seem all the more possible.   

Skykomish
- I was waiting for the Kid to do his thing here, and you didn't disappoint.  The whole story seemed to be an example of what they'd lost, up until now.  I loved the scene with Heyes and Jimmy looking up at the night sky.  There was a connection between the past and the future, which was so very poignant.  Normal seems so very special when it's gone, and this was a good reminder of their past and possible future.  A great follow up to you last story, but I do hope that we see more of this universe.  There is so much more to be told.

Riders 2 - Elspeth Honoria Cadwalader Braun.  What a fantastic name.  It hooked me straight away, and then the storyline held me right to the end.  You've just got to continue this.  You just HAVE to!
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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Oct 31, 2015 7:43 pm

Riders 2 - Phew, they're coming thick and fast now.  Elspeth Honoria Cadwalader Braun.  Great name!  I knew that the crook was going to fake a robbery to cover his loses, but to pin them on the boys?  Big mistake.  I can't wait to see where you take this one.

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Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Oct 31, 2015 9:59 pm

Catching up on my reading tonight.

Remuda:  Nice fit for the prompt.  I could feel Heyes' aching loneliness as he realized he was left behind in so many ways.

Stephanie:  Very moody and beautifully written.  I steeled myself that the ending would be tragic, but you neatly left it open for interpretation.  Well done.

HunkeyDorey:  I got a big kick out of the sheriff's pleasure with his expanding vocabulary and knowledge thanks to the new library.  It was also a nice twist that the boys were on the right side of the law this time.  Great last line, too.  


Silverkelpie:  What a spooky tale!  I really like the idea that it was the school that warped the boys' sense of right and wrong.  My favorite line:  his bottom lip trembled; he was surprised that he still held so much pain.  So much feeling in so few words.  Loved the ending, too, with Heyes still haunted by the experience and unsure of what had happened so long ago.

HunkeyDorey2:  You spoil us with another good story.  What an insufferable woman, but, unfortunately for her, Mrs. Curry is as clever as Heyes when it comes to extracting revenge.  

Keays:  I loved Heyes making Miranda squirm with the idea of a worm in her drink.  This was a nice take on the prompt and a lovely insight into the happy couple's honeymoon.

HelenWest:  First, let me say thank you for posting.  I know from the discussion in chat, how very busy you are right now so it was a nice surprise to see your story.  What a concept--a meeting between to famous men and I love that they are 'fans' of each other.  Great line about the dark side of the moon and I loved the episode reference.

Skyomish:  I'm loving this extended story of Heyes and his brother re-uniting and am hoping there is a lot more to come.  You've written the awkwardness of their situation very convincingly.

Riders 2:  You are also spoiling us!  Elspeth is a woman to reckon with and I wouldn't want  to be in Jamison's shoes.  Our heroes were very in character here.

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Remuda

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:05 pm

Skykomish
You already know how much I love this.  The character exposition is wonderful.  Sarah's apprehension is so realistic.  She defers to her husband's wishes but otherwise would rather not have them there, and is tactfully honest about it.  I adore her gradual warming up.  The scene with Heyes and Jimmy is so well done.  As well, your usual knack for understated description is spot on, and the pacing and flow just right.  Overall, an excellent continuation of the story.  Bravo!

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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:39 pm

Riders - I agree with others - this is a story line I want to know more about. It's both funny and tense, a tough combination. Good work!

Skykomish - I was skeptical about the idea of giving Heyes a brother, but you've got me convinced. You have written the family relationships beautifully. I already feel like I know the characters. It certainly would be an awkward situation, but each person is doing his or her best. I love the scene of Heyes with his nephew looking at stars. I've done that - it always seems to bring people together to look up in wonder.

Thanks for the kind words, folks. I'm glad to know you, too, admired the Mark Twain quote that fake poetically put into my hands.
HW

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