Applause and Feedback

Riders - You got all the elements in, to the point I was waiting for someone come in and have a baby! Great tale with the mistaken identity leading to their imprisonment. That priest sure was a good judge of character. There was no way they were going to leave those children to their fate.

Keays - This was just a lovely snippet from a seasonal story. It's interesting to see him as a family man with responsibilities, but there's still a chance that he'll over-think things. Thanks goodness he has the kid to keep him focused on what's important. Very enjoyable and Christmassy

Nancy Whiskey - So what have you done? He's gone and ruined his Christmas with the lovely Peggy, that's what! Great descriptions and what a great way to make the boys ill without getting all angsty. This was loads of fun.

Riders - Definitely fitting for a Christmas challenge, with the name of the town, the stable, the lost babes and the prosti... no wait! Maybe it veers off just a little? There were surprises around every corner, and the twists kept coming. Loved it!

Keays - You have given them everything they could ever have dreamed of, yet Heyes' mind still keeps working overtime. Thank goodness the Kid is there to give him a reality-check. The last scene was just so very lovely and a nice warm Christmas fuzzy.

Nancy Whiskey - So much fun! Not only does Heyes have a stinker of a cold, but he's getting tough-love from a wonderfully described matron. The poor Kid isn't faring much better. He's doing exactly what he's told, and who can blame him?

Riders - I really enjoyed this story. The first part immediately caught my attention and then it transformed into something heart-warming. The priest was a clever man and well-written. Perfect story for the season.

Keays - Nice to see Heyes and Kid getting to actually enjoy and look forward to holidays with their families, something they probably thought they'd never have. Loved the conversation between them at the end.

Nancy Whiskey - The mental images I got while reading this made me laugh! Ma is not one to be messed with. I absolutely loved the thought of a little ole widow making the ex-leader of the most successful outlaw gang and the fastest gun in the west do as she says with no questions asked. And Heyes still manages to give Kid a Christmas gift, even if he didn't want it. :)

CIMARRON;  I always get a kick out of you ladies who can take a poem or song and convert it to our favourite topic.  This was a very 'seasonal' way to jump start the holiday story telling.

MOONPIE; Oh goodie!  A continuation of your previous story.  Loved their combined discription of what happened; "He fell."  "Three times inta the butt of a rifle."  "Backwards."!  What a family of low life ignoramuses.  Heyes better hurry up and rescue the Kid because that would add insult to injury for that lot to get the reward!   Looking forward to the continuation of this story. 

HANNAHEYES;  Even as a child, little Hannibal was already using his silver tongue to charm the boots off the Big Man.  At least he acknowledged that his Ma and Pa are deserving of something as well.   So long as he gets his first of course.

And there's little Jed being practical.  I think we would all like to have an elf of our own for Christmas!  I always knew Jed was a smart fella.

RIDERS57;  Trust our boys to get into trouble even when nobody knows who they are.  Fortunately for them the Priest was on their side AND they came across those children when they did.  Actually it was lucky for the children too.

NANCYWHISKEY;  Loved this story.  It's no fun at all being sick, but being sick at Christmas really is the pits!  Love the imagery of Ma Brown and the way she took control of two hapless outlaws.

Now Kid can't say that Heyes never gave him anything.

I'm so sorry it has taken me this long for my last comments. But here they are:

Keays: What a lovely Christmas story. Compared to the very dark and angsty first installments of TOF. The partners have really come a long way since then: Amnestied and pardoned, both are married, fathers, once more part of a large family. Finally they’re able to enjoy a family Christmas. It is lovely that they, especially Heyes, are now getting their rewards. You paint such a cosy, warm family scene in the Jordan’s house, full of laughter, light and spicy scents. I’d like to be there myself to enjoy the company, the cider and the meal later on.
It is nice to see that Heyes is still so close to his cousin, that he can’t settle down until he knows he’s ok. I thought it was really sweet of him to face the cold and snow again to ride out to him – it shows his truly caring side. I can’t help but wonder if Jed would have done the same. Heyes is probably also thinking of another Christmas, with his daughter Anya, and the reasons why he can’t see her again. Jed might show a little more understanding.
I don’t think Heyes is overthinking things. Isn’t this the time of year to look back and take stock, see what you have achieved? After all, for Heyes this all is still fairly new, he hasn’t had years of spending Christmas with the Jordans like his cousin. As for achievements, they have done quite a lot, but that was all in “The Lineage”. I laughed out loud at the naughty twist you gave with your last lines to the answer of what they have done all year. Yup, no denying some of the things they have been up to…


Nancy Whiskey: Nancy, you are amazing, coming up with this gem of a story while being ill yourself. How do you do it? Your Ma Brown is truly a remarkable woman, I loved your colourful descriptions of her and the comparisons you came up with. And on top of being intimidating, caring and very capable, she is also quite sharp (to judge by her remarks about her niece). No wonder our boys are meek as church mice, suffering through towelled prisons and doing chores without complaining (apart from maybe a little to each other).
Poor Heyes and later Kid, suffering with colds, and we all know of course that as men they suffer far worse than we could ever understand. Nice to see that they are so well being taken care of though. I wonder how they came to meet Ma Brown. Can we hope for an explanation in another story? Or maybe find out what happens next? (Hint, hint, please!)
It has been remarked on already that Heyes has given the Kid a special gift for this Christmas. I have to add to this that it’s only fair payback. After all, it was the Kid’s fault that Heyes ended up ill in the first place. He shouldn’t have stolen Ma Brown’s lovely niece away from his cousin… I thought a certain silver tongue explained that rather well and for me very convincingly. Not that I might be a teeny little bit biased. No, never, not me.
I love your sense of humour and the way you gave the prompt your very own twist.

Just finished last month's challenges.  Nice job everyone!  Here are my comments on the last three stories:

Riders57:  Boy, things sure went wrong in a big hurry for our heroes, but it all ended nicely with a Christmas miracle for the bereaved parents.  Very atmospheric with your descriptions of the weather and scenery.  

Keays:  I laughed out loud when Randa couldn't see her feet.  Anyone who has had a child knows that stage-no feet and no balance.  Cute ending, too, when the boys came face to face with what they had been doing the past year.

NancyWhiskey:  You do great characterizations and Ma Brown was no exception.  I could picture her brusquely, but kindly caring for a sickly Heyes.   Those two men share everything; why not a cold?

I love Gnat and his grandpa, Nancy! It somehow makes sense that boys, who had no doubt been challenging children themselves, would take to a fellow changing, but very intelligent, child. I've always thought they liked children, as rarely as they encounter them in the series. I think you've caught an interesting side of the prompt.
HW

Nancy Whiskey:   Who wouldn't love Gnat?  He's the embodiment of a pure soul.  Even so, I can see where he could drive a body crazy!  Great ending, too, with lots of wistful hope for the future.  Loved it!!!

Nancy Whiskey: 
Little Gnat is an adorable character, somehow managing to be both endearing and annoying at the same time. And what a unique and creative name for him, I honestly don't think I have ever heard a character in a story named that before, and it suits him to a "T". I find it so humorous that the Kid is the one that seems to tolerate him best, seeing as how he already has so much experience dealing with his own partner's tendency to pontificate. He gives Heyes some great advice: "He's alright Heyes.  You need to let it wash over you."  Thanks for another fun and heartwarming story.

Keays:
Parenthood is certainly something to think twice about, and in this chapter Heyes is deep in thought about the consequences of having a family. He would have to give up his restless, footloose life, and he isn't sure he is ready for that yet. It's pretty clear the Kid wants a family, and Heyes wants him to be happy. But he doesn't want to go on without him, either. It's interesting to see how far Heyes has come, knowing the future of this story. So many of his worries resolved themselves as he grew. As you start on the next addition to your TOF universe, it's nice to get a reminder of how much Heyes has changed. Thanks, Keays.

InsideOutlaw:
There is so much in this short story, including he tragic end to a pioneer family, and the rescue of their infant child by two ex-outlaws. The presence of the babe prompted some true soul searching on the part of the boys, and reminded them of how far they had strayed from their upbringing. Would two men with so many regrets ever be fit enough to have a family? I'm glad it ended on a positive note, as they concluded that there was redemption, even for them. Thanks, IO, this fits the prompt beautifully.

Keays-
It's one of the toughest questions for the guys - how to cope with their differences. And the question of settling down or not settling down - wives or not wives -children or not children - those are really big ones. If they decide differently, that's going to set up all kinds of tension. How would they cope? Is Heyes jealous? I'll bet he is, in more ways than one. I can identify - no husband, no children, but several of my best friends are married and have children. Its set us on different tracks - and yet we're still friends. Can the boys do the same? You've brought it to an intriguing point. And a very human situation of trying to avoid questions - something a lot of us do.
HW

IO - That's a hard situation, indeed. The boys came out of a tough one themselves, so I can certainly see that they'd be glad to step up and help. And that they'd get very attached to the little newborn guy. How could they help it? They are, after all, good men. And young enough to still be thinking that they could find the right women and settled lives. But being who they are would make it hard. I wonder if the baby, when he's old enough, will ever find out who saved him. Will he go down a hard path, maybe live on the wrong side of the law himself? Or maybe he'll be a minister. You knew know. A baby is such bundle of possibilities. Maybe there's another story there? Not only their own children would wonder about the past lives of Joshua Smith and Thadeus Jones - or whatever they are called in later years. You're really brought the boys into a telling situation and it's fun to hear them speak some of their thoughts about it. I love seeing them get protective and possessive about a little stranger! It's very human.
HW

Helen West:  Marvin will be a lucky young man to have the Heyes caring for him.  I love how you portrayed Heyes in this piece.  He's blindsided by the warden's suggestion and immediately worries about all the impediments to taking in a teenage boy before coming around to the realization that he wants to it.  I think any person put in that uncomfortable position would react in such a way.  Fortunately for him, he has a loving and supportive wife.  With his background as an outlaw leader and a college graduate, he's the perfect choice to mentor a wayward boy.

Helen West:
I have been faithfully following your wonderful story chapter by chapter, and I have to say that I didn't see this coming.  Of course, Heyes and Beth will be ideal at helping Marvin go straight and learn what it means to have a family. Interesting how Heyes was at first passionate about the care of Marvin, wavered a bit at the thought of being the one responsible for him, and then finally came to the realization that this was what he really wanted. Beth must trust Heyes deeply, because she didn't seem to need much time to agree to the idea, even though she had never met the boy. It's going to be great fun seeing where you go with this. Thanks, Helen.

Keays ~  I loved the way you draw a lot of narrative from the Horse, and she seems like a kindly, playful creature.  You managed to balance that, dovetailing cleverly into conveying the fact that Heyes needed some head space to arrange his thoughts.  But also recognising his ego and his worries for the future. A very thoughtful piece that reflects the complicated character that Heyes can be.

InsideOutlaw ~  What a heavy burden the Boys shoulder after such an awful tragedy.  You painted, in so few words, the horror of that poor young woman's sad final hours.  Your use of language painting the poignant, but happy memories from the Boys helping to cope with their new addition and obviously becoming attached to the child.  Personally I thought it was a nice twist that it was Heyes becoming the most broody, while Kid maintained a bit of distance.  Thank you for a nice read.

Javaee - That is entirely too wonderful! I love the five boys with H names. Gosh, but they would be a handful! But Heyes wouldn't have married a woman who couldn't handle them - at least after the fact. Between the pair, I think they have those boys covered. To have fun, but also have some sense of order. And just in case there's any doubt, they do know the fastest gun in the West is there to be called upon. But mostly, I suspect, the whole bunch enjoys one another. It would a rollicking household, and one I'd love to see more of.
HW

HelenWest ~ You really captured Heyes for me in this chapter.  I could really see his mannerisms, mistrust, but confidence in his own abilities and history.  His fierce protection for Marvin, facing his next few years in a Home for Waywards.  I also enjoyed the subtle synchronicity of Marvin and his little group with echos of Heyes, Curry and the core of the Devil's Hole Gang.  I also agree with Heyes that the Warden has a more a touch of 'con-man' in him.   A great and thoughtful chapter, with lots to come I hope.

Javabee ~ You had me laughing out loud.  I truly think that Heyes found his match with the enchanting, smart and savvy Susanna.  I could picture her like a bit of a tigress with her wayward cubs (loved the names by the way!)  I am sure the will make the little band of 'H's' pay!  Good for her!

Nancy Whisky - Thanks for giving us little Gnat and showing us how the boys take to boys exactly like they were at that age.  He was a handful of charm in your descriptively-gifted pen.  You created a little boy who could drive you mad, but never really give you a good reason to justify getting angry.  Great take on the prompt and you really
showed us which one you thought would be the more naturally paternal

Keays - You showed us a very thoughtful and pensive Heyes here, worrying about the future - the one plan he failed to make.  So what is to become of Heyes and his partnership now?  They world is moving on and he is scared of being left behind.  A very moody piece with great horse action thrown in for good measure.

Insideoutlaw - They boys and a new born.  That's a real challenge for them.  I loved this line, "Funny the things you never even know you learned from your folks until you have reason to need ‘em."  So very true.  You captured the difference between laying down the law and bringing out the best in someone.  Great last line.

Helen West - What a wonderful selection from your story.  It really captures Heyes' propensity to over think things and worry about the long term implications, and it fits the prompt perfectly.  I can't think of anyone who is better placed to look after a child like this, he'll be able to second-guess in a moment.  Your writing style is so easy and comfortable to settle down to.  Loved it, and it’s a tasty and tempting sample from your larger story too

Javabee - So many beautiful details in the narrative; the buzzing fly, the flashing dimple, the way you suddenly spring the matter of Heyes' parental responsibility on us.  Heyes' wife was so sanguine in the face of so many insults and has a mind as agile as her husband's.  She'd have to have, to keep up with the five little 'H's. I love the line, "The sweet demeanor she had used on the Widow Johnson had faded and was replaced with a look that would stampede a herd of buffalo."  Great story and does that last line promise a sequel (hint,hint)?

Javabee:  You fooled me into thinking this was going to be a story featuring the DH gang, not a gang of alliterative Heyes.  Susanna is a great match for Heyes and he certainly had faith in his wife's ability to sweet talk their angry neighbor.  I loved this line:  She's a mother, she comes by it natural-like.  

I like, too, that you made it Heyes happily married and the Kid still single.  He's always struck me as enough of a playboy that he would keep playing the field rather than settle down with one woman.  

Silverkelpie:  I love Lazarus' backstory; especially how he got his name and lost his eye.  He's a real cautionary tale on the dangers of explosive substances.  Not a fast learner, tho'.  Making moonshine behind Heyes' back and selling it to the gang shows more gumption than brains.  Very fun tale!

Glad to see such a group of great stories -- and maybe we'll have a few more before the end of the month (I hope).

NancyWhiskey -- you had me with the boy's nickname -- Gnat.  Love it.  How appropriate.  And you had me laughing at how his constant talking and questions drove Heyes crazy but didn't bother the Kid at all -- perhaps he's had more experience around such personalities.  Then you wrapped it up with a nice contemplative ending.

Keays -- ah, a snippet from the mind of Heyes.  I'm sure they both frequently thought of what might happen when/if they got the amnesty - even though both have a "take the day as it comes" personality most of the time.  very fitting for the prompt.

Inside/Outlaw -- you tug at our hearts.  A nice piece with a sad underpinning.  I can see them getting attached on a long ride -- although it couldn't have been too long.  After all a new born could not last too long on just water.  But you certainly do see how this experience could make our boys think.

HelenWest -- so a reformed Heyes is setting out to be the reformer.  Interesting snippet from your epic -- glad you joined the challenge.

Javabee -- love this tale.  A gentle reflection -- you describe our heroes contentment at the beginning so well.  And you managed a full story -- introducing the characters, creating the conflict, resolving it, and an epilogue -- in so few words, without it ever feeling rushed.  Great job.  Also Susanna seems like the perfect counterpoint to Heyes.

Silverkelpie - As usual, your story had me laughing.  Lazarus' actions -- and the gang's -- seem exactly as one would expect them to be.  And running a gang (you also clearly illustrate Heyes' intelligence with his rule and the reason for it) would be similar to herding cats, I expect, as you so enjoyably demonstrate.  I also liked the parallels between their experience with Lazarus and their present situation.

Remuda - Why, yes!  It absolutely fits the prompt and thanks for playing.  You capture the synchronicity of the boys body language and behaviour perfectly.  You show us them walking together, having unspoken conversations and mirroring so effortlessly.  As always, the dialogue sparkled and carried a story in which everyone gets a bit of hurt and comfort, but mostly the ladies because they met the boys, and isn't that just right?

Silverkelpie - Well, you've made as good an argument in favor of the boys at Devil's Hole being harder to raise than any children. They never did grow up, did they?  They're a whole lot more fun to read about than to be in charge of, as Heyes and the Kid could tell us. We need more stories about Lazarus - though I have a hard time believing that Heyes and the Kid would have put up with him for long. I somehow have a feeling that Lazarus and the Preacher might have become quite the pair. This is a really fun, vivid one. Yes, bored outlaws can sure get into trouble. Just like bored children.
HW