Alias Smith and Jones Fun and Fanfiction
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RosieAnnieUSA

RosieAnnieUSA

Posts : 457
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 101
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

Applause and Feedback - Page 35 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptySat Oct 05, 2019 5:41 pm

Wichita Red: You mentioned Shakespeare, and after reading Kyle's story, I thought "it is a tale told by an idiot", but Kyle's not really an idiot, is he? He always tries his best, but sometimes, one thing happens, and then another, and then you wake up in the middle of the night, being eaten alive by ants, and your horse drags you for a little bit. I think Kyle's story is worth the value of an $18 firearm.

Nebraska Wildfire: I like Grace being the narrator of this story, because it is her story. Whereas Kyle, in Wichita Red's story, makes little bad decisions that lead to a comedy of errors, Grace's story is more of a tragedy, where she has suffered through random events not caused by her. I'm glad to see, again, that Heyes and Curry really are pretty good bad men, and that they take the time and effort to help someone who needs help.

Moulin P: Arthur King is not your usual vagrant, is he? Our Boys, ever cautious, are still pretty good bad men; they feel sorry for Arthur, and are willing to take him into town, rather than leave him sitting around, waiting for companions who may never return. The names of Arthur's companions are terrific.
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WichitaRed

WichitaRed

Posts : 195
Join date : 2014-01-02

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyThu Oct 24, 2019 12:14 pm

[size=30]Challenge what’s that noise[/size]

[size=30]Nightwalker [/size]
[size=30]positively loved your silent discussion description of the guys, that was genius[/size]

Really a very fun piece of dialogue like it a lot

[size=30]I know that sort of thing,” Heyes replied emphatically, which raised a huff from his fair-haired partner who added, “You can say that twice!” His dark-haired friend turned toward him and beamed him a bright smile that twinkled in his eyes.[/size]
[size=30]Was a very interesting little story, had a lot of tension and suspense built into it, thank you for sharing I enjoyed it immensely[/size]

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Wichita Red..."I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time and I live life the way I want to live it."
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WichitaRed

WichitaRed

Posts : 195
Join date : 2014-01-02

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyThu Oct 24, 2019 8:42 pm

Challenge what’s that noise
Nebraska wildfire
Your story was completely off beat for what we normally get and I found myself enchanted by it .   Such wonderful descriptions and narrative just kept reading along and then when she ran into each one of them......the moment was perfect. thank you for this charming story and picturesque descriptions of a pair of retired outlaws

_________________
Wichita Red..."I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time and I live life the way I want to live it."
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gin16



Posts : 306
Join date : 2014-08-12

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyThu Oct 24, 2019 9:08 pm

Nebraska Wildfire:  I enjoyed this a lot.  It is good to see little has changed about them.  Kid is still helping the needy and  Heyes is still chiding him about it.  I wonder just how old they are as Heyes is completely white headed.

WichitaRed:  So brown hat expected mercy when he wasn't going to give any.  Our boys actually did have mercy on them, they could have left them worse off than they did, they got what they deserved.

InsideOutlaw:  That was a surprise!  Heyes might have come close to getting knocked off of his horse by not answering Kids' questions.  Kid needs to know what the plan is so he can prepare.  Heyes enjoyed doing it and I enjoyed your story.

Nightwalker:  Yeah, she had wanted posters on her wall, just not the kind they were used to.  She was safe in her house with the power out, who needs to call the police when you have Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes  with you.  I hope Jake takes the good advice he was given.


Last edited by gin16 on Fri Nov 01, 2019 3:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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WichitaRed

WichitaRed

Posts : 195
Join date : 2014-01-02

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyThu Oct 31, 2019 9:50 pm

[size=30]Inside outlaw whats that noise challenge [/size]

[size=30]Boy no one knows how to annoy Kid Curry like Heyes. A person could say the same goes for Kid toy Heyes also, and you do such a great job showing this side of their partnership. But I love you little twist that turns it all jovial this time. Fun perk at a day in their lives [/size]

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Wichita Red..."I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time and I live life the way I want to live it."
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InsideOutlaw

InsideOutlaw

Posts : 538
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 64
Location : Colorado

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyFri Nov 01, 2019 9:10 am

WitchitaRed:  Those bushwhackers didn't waste any time wondering who Heyes and Curry were when they had the upper hand and you got me to thinking: would I?  Our heroes don't appear to be hardened criminals.  No, they seem too light-hearted and congenial to be dangerous but they do have a hard side to them and I love that you aren't afraid to show why they survived in a vicious world. My favorite line:  "Heyes’ spun on his boot heels, his eyes glittering dark stones as he unveiled a smile, one reserved for those who opened the darkness he kept constrained under lock and key."  Pretty much says it all right there.

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“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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InsideOutlaw

InsideOutlaw

Posts : 538
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 64
Location : Colorado

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyFri Nov 01, 2019 9:22 am

Nightwalker:  I haven't read the other part of this story as I think you must've posted during the time I was taking a break from everything but real life.  That didn't matter, though, I dropped right into the tale as I read and could easily enjoy it.  I want to know more about Jocelyn, how she came to know our heroes, and her relationship with the shady Jake and, of course, what's going to happen next.  That's a mark of good writing!

_________________
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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InsideOutlaw

InsideOutlaw

Posts : 538
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 64
Location : Colorado

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyFri Nov 01, 2019 9:33 am

Nebraska Wildfire:  Wouldn't it be wonderful to see these two ex-outlaws age this gracefully?  I loved picturing them in a sleepy, little town on the desert.  Who knows?  Maybe that's what really happened.  Fun tale!

_________________
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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Nebraska Wildfire

Nebraska Wildfire

Posts : 150
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : The Sonoran Desert

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptySat Nov 02, 2019 8:10 pm

WichitaRed:  Your introduction made me miss the fall sunflowers and the meadowlarks.  A perfect interchange between them:  “I know I am.”  Perfect Heyes  “Heard that before.”  Perfect Kid.  And then the other true Heyes comes out, doesn’t he, as well as the Kid, who tempers it.  Interesting to think that the Kid, the gunslinger, has to regulate Heyes.

Nightwalker:  Thanks for more of this fun tale.  I loved the Kid’s response to their posters in her room.  I also liked learning more about Jocelyn, that she has real challenges other than dreaming about the boys.

InsideOutlaw:  You put me back into an aspen shrouded forest, expecting a posse or worse around the next corner.  I’m glad it all turned out for the better, and hope the Kid has a great time.
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Nightwalker



Posts : 64
Join date : 2018-09-14

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyTue Nov 05, 2019 2:52 am

WichitaRed – You wrote an extremely „audible“ story which suits the prompt in every dimension. I love the atmosphere you created as well as Heyes’ deliberate usage of facial and verbal expressions. Just wonderful.
The boys face a nearly futile situation: a posse on their tails, robbed of their horses and waiting at gunpoint to be killed. Only that they don’t wait, but silently work on a plan. I love the way you showed us the nonverbal interaction between the boys.
They sure know what scum they ran into and you had me on the edge until Kid Curry suddenly exploded into action to turn the tide. As a perfect team they fight their capturers back and gain the upper hand. Now you show us how much of a difference there is between the two sets of outlaws. Even with Heyes’ dark side arising, it couldn’t be more significant.
 
Nebraska Wildfire – What a beautiful story. Lydia is one lucky lady, that her car broke down just there and then and gave her the opportunity to be rescued by a famous ex-outlaw, who’s always at his best when he gets the chance to help a lady in distress. I’m so glad the boys finally found a place to live and seems to live good lives, too. Even coming into age their personality and habits haven’t changed a lot. Heyes may act grumpy considering himself as some kind of tourist attraction, but I bet it would hurt him rather more if anyone wouldn't pay him attention at all. Speaking of it: you forgot to mention where we have to go to, to find our boys in real. Can we hope for a continuation to your story?
 
InsideOutlaw – You chose an interesting arc for your plot. You start your story with an almost spooky ride through the woods, have us on the edge, when the boys reach the cabin and finish it with a celebration.
I like your descriptions of the surroundings, the way you build up the tension and most of all the interaction between the boys.
It’s not an easy task to organize a surprise for a man as protective and alert as Kid Curry, and only one man could manage it :-)
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RosieAnnieUSA

RosieAnnieUSA

Posts : 457
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 101
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyThu Nov 07, 2019 4:53 pm

October stories:

Wichita Red: There really were a lot of bad men out there and an awful lot of them weren't "pretty good." Somehow I think those ambushers aren't going to be helping out another out of their fix. Hoping Heyes will be okay.

Nightwalker: I really like the spectral figures of Heyes and Curry giving advice to Jake, who probably is not smart enough to take it. 

Nebraska Wildfire: I remember one time being stunned into silence by a pair of vivid blue eyes; I know just how Lydia felt! I love Curry's modesty, just providing his first name, and Heyes being a little disappointed that she didn't come to town to see him. And it's really nice seeing our boys settled into a relaxed old age.

Inside Outlaw: Only the members of the DHG would inaugurate a birthday party with gunfire! Glad it worked out alright, despite Curry's misgivings. Heyes, my advice to you is, don't make your partner unnecessarily nervous!
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WichitaRed

WichitaRed

Posts : 195
Join date : 2014-01-02

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptySun Nov 24, 2019 10:05 pm

Nightwalker: Grudges
This part was so good, I had to go back and re-read it. ///“Could be easily one of us alone in here...”  Busy hands stilled. Silence spread. Brown eyes and blue eyes met. Jed opened his mouth, but closed it again without voicing a word. Everything needed to be said was said by their glances. Silently he nodded and continued working on the mounds of potatoes.///
BRAVO! BRAVO!
 
And, WOW…..really great, ///“I’m glad, we’re not,” Han murmured as he remembered motionless bodies lying in the dirt.”///
 
Nice little peek into their lives story, thank you so much for sharing your work.

_________________
Wichita Red..."I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time and I live life the way I want to live it."
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gin16



Posts : 306
Join date : 2014-08-12

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyTue Nov 26, 2019 3:39 pm

Nightwalker:  I can understand Jeds' grousing about their situation, but Haqn is right,they still have each other.  There are blessings if you look for them.  I think maybe Mr. Mason needed to look for his.

Wichitared:  Love this whole series.  I guess if you have blisters on your body and now dislike the taste of honey, you might find it hard to say thank you to the person responsible.  I think the last 'thank you' was genuine, since again the person responsible is leaving and finally leaving you alone.  I enjoyed it a bunch.
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RosieAnnieUSA

RosieAnnieUSA

Posts : 457
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 101
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptySun Dec 01, 2019 12:18 pm

For November:

Nightwalker: Somehow I'm not surprised that those two hadn't exactly developed their thieving skills yet! They don't know how to steal walnuts without getting caught, do they? Peeling potatoes as a punishment certainly gives them time to reflect on their misdeeds, and to feel sorry for themselves - well, at least Jed is feeling sorry for himself. Leave it to his older, wiser cousin to remind him that having family is something for which he can, and should, feel grateful.

WichitaRed: Ha ha, sometimes the cure is worse than the cold! I grew up with Vicks Vapo Rub being applied to my chest whenever I got a cold, and no one had to feel that off. I can imagine that removing a mustard plaster would also remove hair and skin -- yeow!! It's hard to muster up proper gratitude while you've got a whole other source of pain. I especially love the last line of this story.
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Nightwalker



Posts : 64
Join date : 2018-09-14

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyTue Dec 03, 2019 7:21 am

WichitaRed – Just love your story. Heyes acting like a mother hen and in talking mood can be a true trial to the nerves. Meaning well doesn’t necessarily mean doing well as poor suffering Kid Curry has to experience. Would he have been so bad off without Heyes’ care? We’ll never know, but he sure has an opinion about it and is convinced of it. They both have and they both are.
I loved the sounds of reassembling the gun accentuating the Kid’s words - who really isn’t in a forgiving mood – and giving them a deeper meaning.
Thank you for that short glimpse into one of the boys less glorious days, which still shows us what great friends they are.
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gin16



Posts : 306
Join date : 2014-08-12

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyFri Dec 13, 2019 4:32 pm

Wichitared:  Loved it.  Crossing the scree was intense.  That posse was sure determined, but so were are boys.    I also very much liked all that went on in the extended version.

Nightwalker:  Oh, I really liked this one.  Christmas and looking forward to the party, but missing his cousin and maybe regretting some of his choices. Funny how cold weather can make your vision blurry.  And you know Kid is feeling the same way.
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WichitaRed

WichitaRed

Posts : 195
Join date : 2014-01-02

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyThu Dec 26, 2019 5:07 pm

NIGHTWALKER
Challenge Mid Bleak
This had a painful feeling to it that reached out wrapping about the reader, you brought his cold loneliness very much to life. Well done. I enjoyed the shared confidences between he3 and Big Jim. Overall a very somber, touching little tribute. Well Done.

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Wichita Red..."I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time and I live life the way I want to live it."
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RosieAnnieUSA

RosieAnnieUSA

Posts : 457
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 101
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyMon Dec 30, 2019 3:27 pm

Wichita Red: You really know how to describe a scene. For example:"Their passing became muffled as the horses trod steadily on, across fallen reddish-brown pine needles, their route placing them under a jutting outcrop that became a solid bulging face which blocked the fiery, setting sun" You make it so easy to picture what's going on.
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RosieAnnieUSA

RosieAnnieUSA

Posts : 457
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 101
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyMon Dec 30, 2019 3:30 pm

Nightwalker: I can easily see how even hardened men like the Devil's Hole Gang would still want to celebrate the holiday with food and jigs and a whole lot of alcohol. The memory of a candle in the window, lit by a family member, would surely be emotional for our boys. Nice that Heyes and Big Jim could share a quiet moment together, remember their losses, and still go on.
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Nightwalker



Posts : 64
Join date : 2018-09-14

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptySat Jan 04, 2020 2:19 am

WichitaRed – Wonderful take on a missing scene. Your gripping story about the boys on the run is complemented by wonderful and vivid descriptions of their surroundings. Thank you for sharing it.
[You'll find a longer feedback as comment on AO3]
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Nebraska Wildfire

Nebraska Wildfire

Posts : 150
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : The Sonoran Desert

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptySun Jan 26, 2020 10:02 am

RosieAnnieUSA:  What’s not to love about a story with Wheat and Kyle?  The cadence between them is perfect.  I like the fact that it is Kyle who moves them on at points in the story.  He’s the one who suggests unloading the supplies, settling in the barn and making supper.  The end scene is very touching. I don’t really see it as depressing, but rather thought provoking and introspective.  Stars are pretty after all.
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gin16



Posts : 306
Join date : 2014-08-12

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptySun Jan 26, 2020 3:31 pm

Wheat wasn't at all gruff in this story, just trying to help his brother the best way he could.  Kyle was being supportive in any way he could.  I felt for Martha, she was hoping for a fresh start, but that would have wait for now, now that her husband was hopeful.

WichitaRed:  They were only there long enough to order a drink and some food when everything went to h...  Even if they set guidelines on what to do in situations like that, Kid will still do what he feels he needs to do.  Yep, it is going to be harder than they think.  I liked it!!


Last edited by gin16 on Thu Jan 30, 2020 2:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
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WichitaRed

WichitaRed

Posts : 195
Join date : 2014-01-02

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyWed Jan 29, 2020 1:33 pm

Rosie annnie.  I know I gushed over your story in the other fan forum and I still feel the same, this was a really charming story I enjoyed it immensely. Your dialogue between wheat and Kyle was spot on and wonderful

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Wichita Red..."I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time and I live life the way I want to live it."
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Nebraska Wildfire

Nebraska Wildfire

Posts : 150
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : The Sonoran Desert

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyWed Jan 29, 2020 9:10 pm

WichitaRed:  As always you set the stage so well.  The story starts so atmospheric that I can feel the rain trickling down my back.  Interesting characters, with the boys true so to character.  The Kid defending the downtrodden and Heyes backing him up.  I love the end.  Lots of changes for them still, huh?  A great read.  Thanks.
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RosieAnnieUSA

RosieAnnieUSA

Posts : 457
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 101
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 35 EmptyThu Jan 30, 2020 7:44 am

Wichita Red: What a gripping story this turned out to be! I didn't anticipate the dramatic turn it took, but you wove it into the story smoothly. All the events flowed beautifully. Very well done.
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