Applause and Feedback

Remuda  - Thank you for reminding us that there's more to raising children than keeping them out of trouble. There's also bringing them into the world. Boy, those frontier women had to be tough to manage babies and the hardships of life out on the edges of civilization. But our boys are tough, too. Somehow, it doesn't surprise me that Mr. Curry, given the right directions, had the right combination of toughness and gentleness to help out when needed. But Mr. Heyes has his uses, as well. I love the picture of his reading aloud to his partner and perhaps to other gang members. That's a skill that would come in handy with raising children, too, as we are often reminded. Your engaging tale does suggest that perhaps there are a couple of more than decent fathers in the making there.
HW

Eva Hanley -  What a lovely story!  Heyes certainly found out that dealing with children was exactly the same as dealing with the gang, but criminals generally aren't very mature are they?  This rang so true and clearly comes from a place of real experience.  I sympathise with you.  All too clearly recognisable to anyone who ever even met a child!  Loved it.

What an excellent trio of stories to round out the month.

Remuda -- I remember this and I'm glad you've posted it again.  It certainly fits the prompt.  "I like the line "I'm sure Mr. Jones makes his own poetry in some way." may be my favorite line -- although there are many goods ones in here.

Stepha3nie -- Yay! Another story from you.  Hmm am I sensing a theme in your stories -- dogs, birds, who knows what else -- maybe a skunk next?  Yes there are all sorts of parenting aren't there?  Who knew a bird could bring out the nurturing side of Heyes.  I particularly enjoyed your line about Heyes not being sure his silver tongue worked on himself.

EvaHanley -- Yes indeed, running an immature group of outlaws (and one would expect that they hadn't ever fully matured) would provide good experience for dealing with sibling rivalry.  Had to laugh at the fighting -- it's way too familiar.  Truly enjoyed the parallels and the story that identified them.

Silverkelpie:
You can tell this story is going to be a hoot right from the get go; all you have to do is see the title! Lazarus has such an oh-so-appropriate name, and even his injuries were humorous("It was my first day with the hook.")!! Your Kyle and Wheat were in top form, too. (Heyes: "How many of me do you see?" Wheat: "There's always too many, that's for damn sure!") Add an entrepreneurial scheme gone wrong to these colorful characters, and it's easy to see why Heyes and Curry might think twice about parenthood or any other leadership job. Loved the last line, too.

Remuda:
This certainly fits the prompt, with the Kid getting his "authentic experience". And what could be more authentic than childbirth? I like how the boys managed the rudeness of the young lady without becoming rude themselves. I also like the way Heyes settled his partner's nerves right before the Kid had to deliver the baby. You portray them as a very likeable pair of cowboys, even as they face challenges, and their relationship is portrayed as very natural, easy, and supportive. Thanks, Remuda.

Stepha3nie:
Your story starts with a man very much content with his life, enjoying one of those rare moments where you feel that all is right with the world. Then he is faced with a distinct reminder that tragic circumstances are really only a step away, actually bringing him back for just a split second to memory of the loss of his own dear family. Did he feel a sudden kinship with the orphaned baby bird, as he watched it fight for survival? I think so, even referring to the bird as a "proper little outlaw". Whatever prompted him, Heyes showed his nurturing side and rescued little Blue, bringing meaning and joy back to his day. Beautifully written, S3.

EvaHanley - I've never been a parent, but I'm a former child myself (as Henry Blake on MASH said), so this sounds SO familiar. My brother and I would get to fighting over something and my mother would send us both to our respective rooms - where we would promptly get so caught up in our own things that we'd forget all about our differences. And we'd be back playing together in no time. And fighting again, sometimes. I don't know how parents do it. But Mr. Heyes, apparently, has enough patience to figure it out. I certainly envision the Devil's Hole guys as eternal boys with a strange pair of parents. Come to think of it, did Heyes and the Kid ever really grow up, either? You have really summed up the prompt, which was inspired.
HW

EvaHanley:
This was a wonderful illustration of the prompt, clearly comparing running the gang to parenting, and their amazing similarities. The DHG really was like a bunch of overgrown kids, and clearly gave Heyes the experience he needed to deal with his own kids, especially a teenager. I loved the last line where you describe the youngsters running away "as thick as thieves". Thanks for sneaking this one in at the last moment, Eva!

Just finishing up the last few stories of last month's challenge.

Remuda:  I'm glad you posted this as I hadn't read it and it's a goodie.  The Kid certainly got more excitement than he bargained for!

Stepha3nie:  You did an excellent job bringing a beautiful day to life with your descriptive writing.  Heyes' reactions were those of a kind-hearted man--he saw someone in distress and he helped the best way he could.  His reward was the satisfaction of doing something positive.  I also loved your reference to the Kid's particular brand of argument.  LOL!

Eva:  Thank you for finding the time to entertain us with a story.  I know you've been extremely busy so I really appreciate it!  Heyes knows how to handle a dispute, doesn't he?  I loved the alternate tales of dealing with his children and his gangmates.  You masterfully captured the childish behavior in all four of them and Heyes amusement at having to play referee.  Running an outlaw gang would definitely be great training for becoming a parent.

Nancy Whiskey - Loved the name Gnat! How appropriate. Imagine, Heyes being the one getting annoyed by the 'verbal onslaught'. Maybe now he can understand a little how Kid feels at times. Good story.

Keays - I like the way you write some of the story from the point of view of Karma. It fits in nicely. I can sympathize with Heyes on not being able to turn his mind off. I have yet to figure it out myself.

InsideOutlaw - I enjoyed that it was Heyes that took up with the baby. What a horrible scene to happen upon. It had to bring back memories. It was bittersweet when Heyes had to give the little fella up. I like to think that one day, the child will find out who it was that saved his life.

Helen West - Heyes sure made a quick turn around when the warden mentioned what he did. But it's true. Who better to set a troubled young man on the right road than someone who lived it himself. Heyes really does have a good heart and Beth is a very patient, understanding woman. I look forward to reading this chapter in your story.

Javabee - I absolutely loved this story! The thought of Heyes having five children that are much like he probably was when he was little is hilarious to me. I laughed throughout this. And Mrs. Heyes seems just as competent and cunning as her husband. Would love to read more in this series ;)

Silverkelpie - What a character Lazarus is! The name fit perfectly. What on earth was he thinking making and selling moonshine in secret at the Hole? I loved that the boys scattered trying to hide their beloved hooch. It truly was like trying to herd cats taking care of that bunch.

Remuda - Seems I remember this story from way back but I couldn't remember it all. I can imagine Kid's anxiety at having to help deliver a baby. A stage wreck isn't something you see written about much. It made the story very interesting. Again, I wonder if the child will ever learn who it really was that helped him into the world.

Stepha3nie - I loved this glimpse into the soft part of Heyes' heart. I couldn't have passed up a helpless baby bird either. It was a heartwarming story and a nice different take on the prompt.

Eva Hanley - Ooh! Another story of Heyes and his children! I like all these stories showing Heyes as the family man. His experience with the gang came back to help him when dealing with a teenager and her brother. And I like the way you went back and showed a similar incident in Devil's Hole. Great job.

Nancy Whiskey - Such an endearing character, Gnat ! He reminded me of a dear cousin, a spitting image of Gnat at that age, for which I thank you Nancy. And I think both boys were won over, despite Heyes' reaction at the incessant blabbering, otherwise they wouldn't have considered marriage and family at the departure. Enjoyed the story very much.

Keays - A very believable and well developped description of Heyes' inner musings and of his difficult soul-searching concerning settling down and forming a family. He is aware of the difference in the way he and Kid feel about these issues and, while it scares him, he cares too much for the other man not to feel supportive. Good job !

InsideOutlaw - This story is a clear illustration, if there was a need for one- that our boys are not hardened outlaws and for that reason stand good chances to finally manage settling into normal life as they hope so dearly. I liked a lot seeing Heyes as the more paternal one here, I like to believe having had to play bigger brother to Kid during their adolescence must have influenced his way of seeing things. Well done IO !

I know I am very late, but I'm starting on my feedback.

Nancy Whiskey: Another very enjoyable story from you featuring interesting characters. And Gnat is quite a character, with a bit of Kid and a bit of Heyes in him, but still a unique person.
I loved your descriptions which paint such vivid pictures. From “all legs and teeth”, via “tornado of helpfulness” and “friendly, noisome shadow” to Kid’s “just the wrong side of friendly”.
I also liked grandpa Gibbs, even though the name made me giggle. TV addict that I am, there is just one Gibbs for me: Leroy Jethro from NCIS.
The old man had every right to be bitter or depressed due to all the losses he had suffered, but you gave him the inner strength to rise over it – by bringing up his grandson, relishing good memories, while living in the present, allowing grief, but accepting the loss.
I think Heyes and Kid leave the place changed through having met Gnat and his grandpa. They were reminded of their own boyhood through Gnat and have been shown the value of family and going on despite contrary circumstances by grandpa. So far they have only thought up to achieving amnesty, but this visit seems to have made them think about what should/could come after. It looks like it will bolster their determination.
I’m intrigued by how you work with names in the story. The boy embracing his not exactly flattering nickname. Heyes use of “Jed”, the one time he addresses him by name, while the narrator consequently uses “Kid”. And of course the obvious: Kid and Gnat sharing the same first name, but both being known by a different moniker.

Keays: I can understand the feeling of needing the rush of a carefree gallop. I love the way you show how much Heyes and Karma are in tune. You also draw interesting parallels of high-strung Karma needing Buck to steady her the same way her rider feels he needs the Kid’s grounding company.
The questions Heyes are pondering are frightening questions indeed. What will the future bring? What will they do after the amnesty? Will they be able to continue their unique relationship? Or will life choices force them apart? Would he be able to go without Kid by his side?
I think the answer is there between the lines. Heyes knows he would never stand in the way of Kid’s happiness. But he’s worried to death what this might do to him.
Interesting that these serious worries could be caused by something as harmless seeming as a baby, held in the arms of a happy Kid.
One partner wanting a family, the other needing stimulation and change to keep from going mad from an overactive brain – it seems impossible to combine. In the end Heyes does the only thing he can: forget thoughts about future possibilities and live (and enjoy) the present.

InsideOutlaw: A pensive story, giving us a deep look into our boys with a newborn baby acting as catalyst. Heyes, it turns out, would love a family, but can’t see how it would be possible, Kid doesn’t even allow himself to think so far ahead, he stays in the now.
Even though most fan fiction writers have the Kid down as the one longing for a family, you went with a different character trait: his practicality, down-to-earth-ness. In this way he saves himself from the obviously bad outlook Heyes is facing. As the more creative, the planner, he can’t help weighing the odds and thinking through different scenarios, but still can only see problems ahead. Even if he should have a family, what an example would he set for his children, and how could they be proud of him.
Together they find the answer to these questions: by being honest and doing the best they can. It’s through combining their gifts they could solve the problem: Curry’s practicality and Heyes’ imagination. In the same way they take their leave from the baby: they’ve done the best they could, by saving his life, giving him a past through the family bible and by giving him a chance at a future .
I’m glad you decided to show Heyes’ caring side. If asked to help people just out of the goodness of his heart, he’d probably find a way to decline, but he can’t leave a helpless baby to die. Remembering his own childhood, he turns out to be really good with babies, giving care, love and protection. He even lets himself become attached in a short time.
Kid, who is usually said to be good with children, seems strangely reluctant to handle the baby, only coming up with a way to make it drink. Maybe he wants to avoid becoming attached? Or maybe he just doesn’t know how to deal with the base needs of a baby. His interactions with children in ASJ were more about teaching or introducing rules (Tommy about not shooting, the Jordan girls about being careful with con games), like he had to with the Devil’s Hole Gang. Interestingly, Heyes’ interaction with Tommy Tapscott in the series was all about making the boy feel good. I have the feeling you picked up on this in your story.

Moonpie - I'm glad to see this one back and I liked the jailbreak, with Heyes picking locks and the Kid under the influence of whatever the doctor had given him.  The gang members were great, with Wheat being suitably menacing in a passive aggressive kind of way, and Kyle living in his own world.  I especially liked Heyes' plan and I can see that some retribution is one the way.  Looking forward to that!

Stephanie - Very original and very touching.  I've never read a story where the Kid's homemaking is broken by the woman like this.  I very much hope that this is part of a much longer story as it raises so many questions and takes such a different spin on the Kid settling down to get married.  The starkness of the letter against the reaction of both men is very effective and extremely touching.  Who is she?  Will he go to find her?  Will she take him back?  So many questions,  Such a good challenge!

Helen West: I’ll try to stick just to this text with my comments.
That crafty old warden. He could have met Heyes anywhere, but he asked him to the prison, putting him off-balance and making him focus on something else. A clear conman’s misdirection. When Heyes brings up Marvin, the warden expertly uses him and his unsure fate as bait and Heyes doesn’t even sense the trap. Once Heyes is emotionally engaged, he’s reeled in before he knows it through another ruse: challenging Heyes. The master of the silver tongue is cleverly out-silver-tongued.
No wonder Heyes would feel a connection to a youngster who reminds him of himself. Not just intelligent, independent and “a little wild”, but also practically an orphan and future outlaw. No wonder Heyes wants to do something about it.
And he shows responsibility and wisdom by going about it the right way: First making sure he can offer help, by including his wife in the decision, then talking to the boy, thus showing him he is serious. And not just telling him, we’ll take you, but explaining the conditions.
Heyes shows he knows that trust is not given easily and requires careful consideration, not rash emotional actions. He should make a great father: he’s brought up Kid after all, has experience with setting down rules and being consequent about them from his DHG days and he has his experience with teaching young students (in your universe). Add to it his caring side, his engagement in people he likes, his craving for challenges, his own experiences – Marvin is one lucky boy.
I have to add that I am surprised to find such a compassionate warden, who looks after his charges even after they are released from his care. In my understanding, he has no responsibility to lift a finger once Mosley has left the Pen.

Javabee: What a great story about parenting skills. It looks very much like running a gang of outlaws.
Heyes and Kid having a lazy afternoon, no matter what. They are in an oasis of calm, while around them everything happens. Heyes hardly has to do a thing. He has found the ideal wife. At least as silver-tongued as himself, persuasive and able to read other people. Just like Kid kept the gang in check, she takes care of the children. The couple doesn’t seem to need to communicate, they know and trust each other to take care of their share of duties, but it looks like they also unquestioningly back the other. Pretty much like Heyes and the Kid.
Great how Kid is also quick to be willing to step up to dispersing some discipline. He’s obviously very much a part of the family. So he should really know, that his partner has things under control (or knows that his wife has). But I loved the idea of the stern, belt-wielding, gun-slinging uncle. The fastest belt in the West I suppose, which never misses its mark. A daunting prospect indeed.
I love it that you have Heyes with a large family and Kid still hanging around, still unmarried.
Your story is so enjoyable for your humour and the way you describe things.
Heyes going from “thief” and “common criminal” to being “charming” and “delightful”. An irate victim of theft deftly manipulated into becoming the favourite dearest neighbour. Heyes pride in his sons nefarious skills (not only finding and stealing his lockpicks, but also figuring out how to use them).
Like the others I enjoyed the brown-haired, dimpled, alliterated young gang, even if it meant missing out on some expected names for the juniors. Harry, Hotchkiss and Hale I get (I think), Hadley could recall a certain town, but Hank has me stumped.

A thoroughly enjoyable, clever and funny story.

Silverkelpie: Chili Con Carnage – if there were a prize for greatest title, you’d be the sure winner!
I like the coffee quibbling at the start. Finally Kid gets taught a lesson about complaining over Heyes’ coffee. Serves him right. (See what I did?)
The outer story of the boys despairing about their employer’s parenting skills is wrapped about an outlaw days tale. Both not classic parenting stories, but both fitting the prompt. Problems with a drunken sailor son are still parenting troubles and the DHG is really just a bunch of big kids, unruly, mischievous, drunk kids.
I loved the line “Runnin’ the Hole could be like baptizin’ cats at times”; I know of the difficulties of herding them, but trying to baptise them must be even worse.
Where do you get your ideas from? An explosives man called Lazarus who’s already lost a leg, an arm and because of this an eye…(best excuse ever: it was the first day with his hook). And then his teeth being casualties of a life of hard knocks? Of course he doesn’t just have a peg leg, no it’s “Sheraton style”. Your descriptions had me in stitches.
I’m not sure why a good cook should need two legs, but I think I might have been dubious about hiring Kyle’s friend, if I were Heyes.
The conversations throughout the story are great. Wheat’s “There are always too many” [of you, Heyes] has already been mentioned, but it’s such a good comeback, it’s worth mentioning again (even though I just can’t understand the sentiment). And of course his “It ain’t whiskey.  It’s just a few vegetables.  What harm can that do?” is great outlaw logic.
Lazarus is endearing with his “I just like to keep folks happy.  What’s wrong with celebratin’ Tuesday?”
Apparently he encourages celebrating Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays too. How else could the gang need 4 gallons of hooch. Hoch, which is quickly squirreled away throughout the hole. If moonshine also produces an angel’s share like whiskey barrels, there are many happy angels in this part of Wyoming! Or maybe rabbits?
I guess some accident at the still was inevitable. The idea of the cook flying one way, and his wooden leg the other made me think of old slapstick films. The line about having to hide his money due to “a high criminal element around here” sounded familiar (Porridge?), but it’s used to great effect! And coming accusingly from the new guy illegally running a still in an outlaw hideout against the leader is priceless. But he gets his deserved reward: his own leg knocks him out, half his money is stolen and of course the still and his job are history.
Your story certainly gave lots of exercise to my risible muscles. Thank you!

Stephanie - I was really surprised by this one and I love to be surprised. I don't think I've read anything where a woman walks away from the Kid after marriage. There are so many questions and so much more that I want to know, but as a standalone piece it's very striking and emotional. You captured the shock of the news and the support in the boys' relationship perfectly in a very few words. Loved it. I do hope there's more.

Hunkeydorey - When I started reading I thought this was an outlaw piece, with the Kid lying in wait for the woman who betrayed Heyes, but as I continued to read it became clear that the timescales were completely different. What a hoot! The case of the stolen blueberry pies and almost everyone did it except for the adults. That'll teach Odella for coming between the boys, but the image of an angry Jed being held down by his big sister so they could put ribbons in his curls has stayed with me! Can you explain all the 'blue'in the names? I get 'Blau' but not Jay or Gormley.

Remuda: I love the dialogue in your story. It conveys much more than just the spoken words. You paint pictures of the people with it.
I loved Heyes’ line “Or your disposition, I suppose! Glad you decided to come up for air!”
Well, Kid got his wish: an authentic experience (is there any other kind?) just like the girl in boxcar # 3.
Travelling with two women in a stagecoach might make the journey more pleasant, but pregnant Lorelei is determined to be unpleasant. Only grudgingly does she apologise for being rude. Until the accident.
Maybe it was a bad omen for Heyes to read out Mark Twain’s translation of the “Lorelei”, maybe they should have expected something like this, travelling with a woman of the same name.
Luckily they all survive, unlike the poor fisherman entranced by Lorelei. Maybe it’s a good thing our boys’ acquaintance is not out to break hearts (and take lives). Kid now needs to come to the rescue. Fair payback for Lorelei, to depend on the help of the person she was horrible to. I’m a little sorry for the guy, but at least he has their other travel companion to guide him. As Heyes quips: “probably the best thing ever to come of his taking orders – I mean, following directions – so well”.
I like the little references to the series you sneaked in.

I remember reading this story before (in my lurking days). The poem alone would have made me remember it. It has also been a German folk song for nearly 200 years. One of the most beautiful recordings can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0_PtHwbCiY
As a child I was fascinated with the Lorelei legend and of course I had to get to sit on her rock overlooking the Rhine and comb my long (then still blonde) hair. But I guess, there were no fishermen out that day, or they couldn’t see me properly.