Applause and Feedback

InsideOutlaw: I always enjoy reading your Hannibal Heyes plans. This one was grueling; it really put the gang through the wringer, very much like an olympic trial. Heyes not only comes up with shrewd schemes, but he also has to be shrewd on how he handles his men, revealing one step of his plan at a time, knowing they couldn't handle the knowledge of it's entirety. It occurs to me that if they would put that much work into honest endeavors they would all be law abiding, successful men. But of course that was the irony of your last sentence: "A bunch of no good, dirty outlaws, too lazy to work for a living..."

Oh you bad bad girls, Remuda and Javabee . . . both of you leaving me sitting in my chair, saying to myself "And? And?"

Remuda: Talk about rocks and hard places. It's all about calling in favors, isn't it? The Governor keeps calling in favors, and, according to Lom, is ready to forget the whole amnesty thing. Lom calls in a favor, and our boys feel obligated to him - not to mention, they probably take his threat about hunting them down pretty seriously. Can't wait to see where you take this story.

Javabee: Definitely a formidable adversary, and nice to see a woman in this role who's not a saloon girl or lover from the past. Our sympathy is always with Heyes and Curry, but you do a very effective job of showing the impact of their crimes. Stealing a payroll hurts the average folk real bad. And, of course, if she turned Curry in for the reward, she'd probably have her payroll. I am looking forward to the next chapter!

Ahh, I love the last day of the month 'cause I know I'll have at least one or two stories to read the next morning thanks to you wire-jumpers!

Remuda:  Of course they owe Lom and he wasn't about to take no for an answer.  This is a nice start to a longer story.  I'm intrigued to see where it goes.

Javabee:  Another first chapter.  You girls are teasing us all.  Sophie Parker really is one hell of a woman and I'm looking forward to her challenging Heyes.  She's tough, smart, and hasn't lost her humanity despite a hard life.  Sort of a Heyesian lady.  Looking forward to more.

Remuda - Promise me that this is part of a larger story!?  The boys' own code of honour dictates that they wouldn't let Lom down but I bet they didn't expect the reception they got when they rode into the Hole.  I sure didn't.  I can't wait to see who has taken over and how the boys outwit him.  What a great premise for a story and filled with all your usual sparkling dialogue.  Loved it
 
Javabee - Sophie Parker is the whole package; feisty, clever determined, brave and flawed.  I can't wait to see how her clash with Heyes pans out, not to mention how the Kid will deal with her once he recovers.  I can't believe you are new to writing.  You are plotting like a mistress - and I definitely mean that in the best way!

Insideoutlaw - When Heyes plans he really plans, doesn't he?  No wonder they were such a successful gang with a leader like him at the helm, but let's not forget that he's such a genius because it has such a clever writer.  So many to choose from but I loved the line. It wasn't long before the spirits were fist drained, and then lifted."  Too lazy to work for a living?  Yes, they were, but Heyes outsmarted them got some real hard graft out of them.


EvaHanley -  Great first story and thanks for jumping in to play with us so quickly.      You caught a moment in time for us so beautifully and in so few words.  Very clever at being able to show the graduation of Hannibal Heyes to champion safe cracker and fitting in with the prompt perfectly.  I look forward to reading more from you. 


Helen West - You painted the outlaws very realistically, with the casual cruelty and the need to make themselves feel important by putting others down just because they can.  This was a great take on how Heyes became the master criminal; he wasn't the biggest or the fastest so his solution was to be the best.  Great story.


Remuda - The boys would SO do this for Lom; they wouldn't be happy about it, but they'd do it.  Right in character and then you built us up to the unexpected.  I do so hope that you're going to continue with this.  Loved and and I can't wait to see who's got them and how they get out of this.  I loved the title too. 


Javabee - Oh, the subtitle says it all and Sophie Parker of Parkersville is certainly a worthy adversary.  I think I speak for many when I say that I can't wait to see her clash with Heyes!  You laced the consequences for the theft of the payroll through her backstory so we can see how desperate she is.  What are the boys going to do?  You've got me hooked!

Insideoutlaw - Too lazy to work for a living?  They don't know the half of it, but we do because you gave us this wonderfully constructed story.  I love the detail you went into and you also showed us how Heyes could motive the men who were determined not to work for a living without them even realizing it.

EvaHanley - I admire people who can put a lot into so few words.  Brevity is not something I've mastered.  Thanks for showing us how hard Heyes worked to become a safe cracker, but you also managed to show that it was not hard work alone - he had talent too.  Well done on your first story and I hope it is the first of many.

Helen West - Yes, it is better to be in charge where the bullies don't get to throw their weight around and take their frustrations at their own inadequacies out on the weakest members of the team.  What a gritty and realistic account of the boy growing to man and how he built on his own strengths to survive in a dog-eat-dog world.

Remuda - You showed us the honorable side of the boys, and did it so realistically that I could 'see' it happen.  I hope you're going to give us a whole lot more of this because I can't wait to find out who is in charge, what he's going to do with the boys, and whether the Devil's Hole Gang will support him or them.  Loved it!

Javabee - So many continuing stories at the moment but I'm not complaining for one second.  This is another one that's got me hooked.  A formidable female opponent is sure to bring out the more complex side of both boys and you have picked doozy on Sophie Parker!  I love this story.

EvaHanley: Watching Hannibal Heyes crack a safe can be mesmerizing, and you have certainly captured that here. I can't help but wonder who the old master is that our young outlaw has learned his craft from. Now that Heyes knows he is the best, there will be no holding him back. Thanks for joining in and making your first entry, Eva. Looking forward to reading more from you!

Rivers57: Great start off to the month. Smart idea from Heyes:have a contest to shut Wheat up for good about who's the leader. Liked the Kid's comment as to why he wouldn't shoot Wheat. 'Too easy a target. No sport in it.'!

Silverkelpie: Oh my, the bodies are starting to pile up! 'There are coloured folks who look down on whites'?' Mrs Cunningham obviously doesn't get out much. Loved the discussion between the two trainee butlers over the chess game. Tishing--I mean Jenkins hit close to home with some of his comments to the boys. And now there's another dead body to contend with. There'll be no one left to drive the train soon.

Bluebelle: Nice competition going on here. Loved the lines about not being someone who'd steal from his own grandma--and then of course; Kyle's protest. Preacher seems to have it right from the beginning and in more ways than one. They were describing their previous leaders right down to a 'T'. Not sure if even they could be invisible, but they sure knew how to disappear fast enough.

NancyWhiskey: Short but cute. Sometimes a little nonsense is fun.

Cimarron: What a dangerous game Gabby played. Who's to know what a dangerous outlaw would do in retaliation? Trust Heyes to come up with a suitable punishment for her. She will be ruined--and didn't even have the pleasure of committing the act in the first place.

InsideOutlaw: Wow! Heyes sure was pushing the patience of everyone, including the Kid. For once I don't blame Wheat for complaining. And poor Kyle doesn't even know his right from his left. Love your double meaning for 'spirits' and the last line was priceless!

EvaHanley: I follow everyone else in congratulating you on your first challenge story. Very original take on a young Hannibal Heyes getting his feet wet on a Pierce and Hamilton '78! Lots of fun and really looking forward to more stories from you.

HelenWest: Interesting tale of how a young Hannibal Heyes got started on the outlaw trail. Typical of being a newbie: having to put up with teasing and initiation rights. Heyes was showing his smarts right from the get go and wasn't about to let anybody get in his way. Loved the little line; '......in a surprisingly low voice for so skinny a boy.'. Already declaring the man he would soon become.

Remuda: So the governor is at it again. He sure knows how to get what he wants. But maybe this time it was worth it. Nobody needs a low-life like that running the show.

Javabee: Great extension of your story. Sophie Parker is definitely a contender here and Heyes is going to have to be in top form if he expects to get the Kid back in one piece. It must be very frustrating for an intelligent woman to be surrounded by condescending males. I think Hannibal Heyes will be showing her a bit more respect than the townsfolk. He's no fool. Looking forward to your next installment.

HelenWest: This story shows the slow but sure transformation of our hero from sad orphan boy to a competent man, from a novice outlaw to a pro. He was persistent in developing his skills, working hard and practicing daily. He was ready for the challenges (opportunities) when they came his way and was shrewd enough to make the most of them. Interesting and enjoyable to read how he got his start!

Remuda: The boys are on the verge of giving up their quest for amnesty after this bout with the governor. If not for their obligations to a friend I think this would have been the end. But instead they are on another adventure, this time to see what has gone wrong at the Hole. I have a feeling this new leader has met his match, and I'd like to see how it plays out!

HelenWest - You are the master of self-improvement stories Helen. As much early in his life or later, you always "push" HH to go beyond and realize his full potential. I like how he manages to turn the men's disposition and harness their help by appealing to their strongest points and flattering their ego. Well done !

Remuda- Held responsible for what the gang does even after they have moved on, that's though ! Still, they have the capacities to set things straight. I look forward to seeing how they will manage to shake this off their backs.

Javabee - Very nice development and reversal of the story : after having us irritated at the "double-crossing" lady that has hurt the Kid and got HH seething, we get to see the other side of the coin, a three dimensional character that has full justification for her actions and can challenge the master schemer successfully. It will be a hard wait until the next installement !

Sorry to be late with reactions - but I'm enjoying them as I read. It's fun to do a challenge!
JB - I love the gritty reality of this thrilling confrontation. Can't wait to see what happens next month and how you fit it to the challenge! You are wonderfully skilled at this.

SK - You've got to pull this all together someplace - it's turning into a really classic book. You've put beautiful thought and detail into everything. The characters are wonderfully deep and complex.

Keays - I guess nobody ever said our boys had to win the gold every time. They've been beaten by a combination of bad luck and the determination of their pursuers, and you've got me hanging on every word!
HW

How'd I miss you in that batch, Remuda? That's a great take on the boys - Lom - Governor relationship, with the Devil's Hole guys thrown in. I just want to hear more on the story!
HW

Eva Hanley - great first work! I promise I didn't copy the premise - was already writing - but I admire the detail and emotion with which you pulled it off so briefly. I want to know more!
HW

Finally getting around to commenting on last month's challenges...

Riders - This was a wonderful story of Wheat going up against Heyes. Loved when Heyes asked Kid why he didn't just shoot him and Kid's reply to him. You did great showing the differences between Heyes' and Wheat's preparation for the job and such. Kid's marshal name, Dillon McCloud, I loved it! Wheat should learn not to challenge the leader ;)

Silverkelpie - I was so glad to see the next part of this mystery. Your writing shows all the knowledge you have of the time period. And this story is so intriguing. I love the way you write mysteries. Really looking forward to the next installment!

Bluebelle - Loved this concept for a story. They're all describing the perfect outlaw, but it takes Preacher pointing it out to them that those individuals just left the gang. Lots of good lines in this one. Hank's comment about prairie dogs being able to take them over was great! And I loved the idea of Kyle taking Wheat's whiskey. Wonderful job!

Keays - Yet another one I was excited to see continued! You write action so well, I find myself getting anxious right along with the boys. I still lol when I read those lawmen's names. But they were pretty smart to trick Heyes and Kid like they did. I'm trying to be patient waiting on the next part, but it's hard ;)

Nancy Whiskey - I love a clever limerick and this was one just that! I always want to put them to music though for some reason. It was short but told a whole story. Short but sweet!

Cimarron - Gabriella should really be careful of who she tries to doublecross. You show Kid as being the true, intimidating outlaw he is capable of. And in my opinion, you were completely accurate when you wrote that Heyes saw women as equals. I loved the way he got back at her though. I think that will hurt her more than anything. Maybe she learned her lesson. The last line was powerful. Great story!

Inside Outlaw - Smart of Heyes not to disclose all the details of this job all at once. He might've ended up going it alone. Smart also to offer some reward for doing the job and doing it fast. And what a great last line, except that time, the outlaws had to do alot of work for their ill-gotten gain. Loved it!

EvaHanley - So happy to see a new writer! This was a wonderful look at how Heyes come to be the best safecracker around. I wonder who was teaching him. Your writing put me right there beside him with that safe. And I loved this line, "I knew already he is the best. Now he knows it to." Hope to read more from you ;)

HelenWest - Poor Heyes, having to endure the 'hazing' of being the new member of the gang. I can see him practicing his rider over and over. Good thing he did too! I loved how at the end, his old leader and gang member realized how far he had surpassed them.

Remuda - How wrong of the governor to still be blaming the boys for the doings of the DHG. But Kid's right, they do owe Lom. And who is that leading the gang now? Hopefully, Heyes and Kid will teach whoever it is a lesson. Another one I'm really wanting to read more of!

Javabee - Wow, last month was full of stories I want to read the rest of! Seems that Heyes has met a formidable opponent in Mrs. Parker. But she has a right to be angry, and at least she's attempting to take care of Kid. Really looking forward to her meeting up with Heyes. He better be careful! ;)

Now the hard part...who do I vote for???  

Just starting the March challenges and going out of order to get to the shorter ones first.

Nancy
Fun limerick, and oh so true!  Fleeced is a good word for how the Governor took advantage of the boys. 

Eva
Nice coming of age tale.  I like the descriptive language you used for Heyes, especially as regards a feline -- no cat burglar he, but the comparison is fitting.  Did you have a firm idea as to the identity of the narrator?  I'm presuming someone with whom we are acquainted but will not attempt to pinpoint which one.  Well done!

Finally catching up with the rest of last month's stories -- sorry to take so long.

HelenWest - an interesting take on how Heyes started his career as an outlaw.  Liked the choices of names, they definitely added a flavor to the story.

Remuda -- your ear for dialogue drew me in from the very beginning.  Looking forward to seeing where the story goes.  I do admit to being a little confused about who was speaking at the very end, but I'm sure when you continue this it will all become clear.

Javabee -- very good characterization.  Another one where we need to exercise patience to find out how it turned out.  Delayed gratification is so frustrating, dang it!

Javabee - What a great way to kick off the challenge for April!  Loaded with terrific lines like, "One with a smile that’ll con you right out of your last nickel, and the other as fast as a whip snake and as deadly as a rattler," and "this cowboy’s curls were the color of dark golden honey, the same shade of the sugar she used in her coffee.  Not bleached, common table sugar, mind you, but caramelly sweet and very raw."  All the conjecture about what a connoisseur was made me chuckle. especially when you ended up in Scotland.  Great job!

Javabee -- or should that be Java Sue?  What a hoot!  Like the interaction of the boys as Heyes works his way "logically" to the meaning of connoisseur with the Kid applauding skeptically but enjoying the ride.   

Javabee -  Loved this!  I adored the whole circular debate about what a connoisseur was and the logic as to how they decided that an ex-con was headed their way.  I really love the way you used Heyes' bad coffee to insert yourself into the tale.  I get the feeling he's not going to be a willing pupil.  Terrific fun!    

Moonpie - I must admit I really thought we were in Mary-Sue territory until I got to the end.  Fantastic twist!  The descriptive writing is lovely, especially the scene were Heyes and Curry are first riding in from the distance I love The whole idea of this and it is a truly original take.  I'm not going to say anything to give away the end and spoil it for the others.    

Moonpie: Interesting that Hannibal Heyes the thief could have taken what he wanted with a gunman like the Kid backing him up, and even justified it since he was just taking stolen property from a fellow thief that was mistreating her. But he insisted on making a payment, "fair and square". Was this "honor among thieves" or just his own skewed sense of right and wrong? Either way, good use of prompt. You artfully had me wondering from the beginning who the captive was. I won't spill the beans. Good story, thanks Moonpie!

Silverkelpie: 
This months attention to Mr. Glavin certainly puts him in a distasteful light, as a cruel boss who is a racist as well as a vulgar abuser of women. But does this also make him a murderer? Maybe, maybe not. Many great lines throughout, including several directed at Glavin as Kid deals with him:
"I’m a passenger; almost like you, but useful.” and “I don’t know what makes you so dumb, but it’s working real well.”  

Are we starting to see some of the results of your research on menstruation with the discussion of "wool diapers" and "female things"? It will be interesting to see what this has to do with solving the murders. Too many details and possibilities to mention here, but I am eager to see how it all comes together. 
Thanks, SK