Applause and Feedback

Wow, Keays, it's rough when somebody else wins the gold rather than our boys. At least for the moment. This is when the competition gets really hard - the escape competition. I have to say, I love the way you write horses. They would be so important in the outlaw life. They aren't machines, any more than their riders are. Great installment on this story!
HW

Love all that great dialogue, Bluebelle! Those guys at the Hole had some tough lessons to learn once the best left them. It makes me remember in The Man Who Murdered Himself when Wheat says they're back to being small time again after Big Jim left. Small time was what they suddenly were. Not an easy revelation for men to deal with. Especially with the smaller paychecks.
HW

Riders:
Poor Wheat! We always love to see him trying to beat out Heyes, to no avail. The characters are true to form, from Kyle cluelessly spilling the beans about Wheats scheming and whining, to Wheat's attempt to compete with no plan or preparation, ending in arrest. Kid flawlessly comes to Wheat's rescue with a choice impersonation of Marshall Dillon McCloud (!), and Heyes comes out on top once again. What's not to love? =)

Silverkelpie:
Very tricky, having Mr. Jenkins take Mr.Tishings identity. Just one of the twists and turns in your story. Interesting and sad love story about the white man being unsuitable for the woman of color. Nothing and no one is what they seem to be. You are keeping me happily guessing, I still don't know whodunit!

Bluebelle:
Leave it to Preacher to shed some light on the truth of the matter. When Heyes and Curry left, the gang lost what made them the best; they have an act to follow that they will never measure up to. Great dialogue showing the true nature of these outlaws. Glad Kyle got the last laugh, getting away with Wheat's bottle! That's what he gets for not making him his "loo-tenant"!

Keays:
You are excellent at writing action sequences. Your real life experience with horses serves you so well in stories like this, giving the chase such a smack of realism. Definitely an "Olympic" worthy chase. I hate to see the posse come out on top, but, like the Kid, I am waiting to hear the next Hannibal Heyes plan. I am confident he will have one, he always does. I am very much enjoying your story!

Keays: Boy, out of the frying pan into the fire!  After all that work, they're caught.  Who's going to rescue them now?  Looking forward to more.

Keays -- you write action very well.  It will be interesting to see how you rescue them from their predicament, I hope you continue it.

NancyWhiskey -- and a great twofer.  What fun.

Riders57 - Wonderful writing that grabbed me right from the start and a plot that kept me hooked.  We all knew who'd win the bet, but the journey through the escapade mattered more than the outcome.  Poor, dejected Wheat in jail was a cynical figure with no known friends or support; until Marshal McCloud showed up, anyway.  Way to set the bar high for the start of the month!

Silverkelpie - There was something very sinister about the dreadful murder happening silently, a few feet behind the stewardess.  It sent a shiver down my spine.  The mix of personalities shows us so much about the way people were treated at the time and just has a sense of period that rings so very true.  Loved the butlers chatting!  Whodunit?  I haven't a clue.  


Bluebelle - I found this just hilarious.  Poor Wheat isn't a leader, he's just the man in charge.  Nobody wants to be his 'loo-tenant' but Kyle, but he wants to be invisible more.  Too many good lines to quote them all, but Wheat losing his store-bought whiskey was the perfect ending.


Keays - Everyone says that you write action so well, but it merits saying again.  The whole chase, the sense of desperation and the camaraderie was laid out before us.  I didn't expect you to have them captured at the end, but I can't wait to see how you get them out of there.  You will, won't you?


Nancy Whiskey - You caught the boys' plight in so few words, right down to being used when they went for amnesty, and you got the Olympic prompt in with going for gold too!  Very clever to do that in so few words.

Cimarron-
What a great variant on the idea! It's more than men the boys can compete against. The delicate dance of good and evil is wonderful!

Nancy Whiskey-
How poetic! And just right for the time of year. Taxes are taking me away from writing, until tonight.
HW

Bluebelle -  Loads of great lines in this one and you show us the qualities of each outlaw as well as giving the reader valuable insight into the real men through their aspirations.  Loved the Preacher's detached cynicism, a man out for himself and Kyle's childish wish to be invisible seemed partially true in the way he swiped the whiskey at the end!  Great lines.  Loved this line " I guess I’d be smart.  So smart I wouldn’t have to pull a gun on folks.  They’d just hand it over to me like I deserved it.  Forget the fountain of youth; I want the fountain of smart."

Keays -  Fanatastic hook!  How are you going to get the boys out of this?  The chase was thrilling and I can't wait for the next part.


Nancy Whiskey -  Fun little limerick and you managed to get the Olympic gold in too!  Enjoyed this.


Cimmaron -  Killer last line.  The Kid is often written as a sap around women but this shows he can be pushed so far and no further.  He taught this young woman an important lesson without crossing the lne into evil.  Original and thought provoking

Keays - You are the mistress of action and take us right along with you on your exciting chases.  Your knowledge of horses adds so much to your writing.  You also know how to write the best cliff-hangers, so I can't wait to read the next part.  Enjoy your birthday week, but don't leave us fans hanging for too long, please.

Nancy Whiskey - It was inspired to give us a limerick, especially one that grabs us with a link to the prompt.  Thanks for playing, you gave me some fun this morning.


Cimmaron - There's a difference between bad and evil?  There sure is and you danced around it beautifully right to the end.  I wondered what kind of revenge he'd take and you managed to keep him right in character but show us the side of him that gave even the worst criminals pause.  That last line was wonderful.

Cimarron - what an excellent job of showing the dangerous side of Kid Curry -- the feral outlaw who will take his revenge without remorse.  You kept us guessing on just what he was going to do.

Nancy Whiskey:I love reading the ASJ limericks. This one was a lot of fun, and I am still amazed that you got so much content into so few words. Nice.

Cimarron:  

Enjoyed the description of what Kid had been up to: "runnin', gunnin', cunnin'". And this line pretty much describes Heyes philosophy towards the ladies: "Ya gotta give it to Heyes; he doesn’t look down on women.  He’ll give you just the same chance as any man." Love the last line, it pretty much sums up why we call them "pretty good bad guys."  Kid definitely came out the winner in this one.

Insideoutlaw - The level of detail you got into this story is right up my street.  I loved the way in which you described the sheer hard graft of  successfully breaking the law and the work involved in getting a gang to follow the leader: commitment versus compliance from the men.  Terrific lines, I loved the Kid saying to Heyes, "Let me be real clear here, Heyes.  You make me dig all day and I’ll be leading that mutiny.”  A wonderful story of a bunch of no-good, lazy outlaws.  Loved it.   

I/O -- certainly a gold-medal story.  Very well planned and written.  Many good lines.  I particularly liked, "It wasn't long before the spirits were fist drained, and then lifted."

EvaHanley -- welcome to the gang and what a gangbuster entrance.     A very interesting perspective on how Heyes (I assume) learned to crack safes.  Great first submission.

Bluebelle:  it's tough to follow legends, isn't it? Put everyone's best imaginary qualities together, and you've got the people who just left. Very clever premise; it reminded me of the quiz, what superpower would you like to have? Preacher is the most sensible; don't make yourself a target. Lots of good lines. Among my favorites is  "The moustache bristled in thought.  “I need a man of quality.  Someone I can trust.  He ain’t gonna be the kinda fella who’d steal from his own grandma.”
 “Hey!  That were never proved,” Kyle protested." and A special outlaw?  Ain’t ya afraid he’d best ya in a fight and take the Hole from ya,” Lobo chuckled.
 “Na, if’n he was that good he’d take over a bank; not this god-forsaken backwater,” Hank grumbled.  “We’re the only dang fools stupid enough to stay here.  Sneak in, sneak out, and live in a hole.  Hell, a gang of talented prairie dogs could take over from us.”     

Keays: What little I know about being in possess, I've learned mostly from TV. I have to say, though, your depiction of what happens in a posse seems accurate and real. The arguments back and forth, they get excited when they stumble on to the outlaws, and somehow, they end up with the outlaws. Same with the outlaws; pulling every trick they know, yet tripped up by tripping animals, noises, and not being perfect people. Very realistic. Now I'm hoping you've got a realistic way for our heroes to regain their freedom. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Nancy Whiskey: I empathize. I just filed my taxes. I, too, was just fleeced by the state. ouch!

Cimarron: I always say my favorite kind of story is the one that takes a common assumption and turns it around. Gabriella wasn't exactly a damsel in distress, was she? She used Kid's kindness very successfully to her advantage, and was looking forward to a comfortable life. Sadly for her, she only thought of the "pretty good" part of Kid's nature and forgot he was a "bad man." You build the tension very effectively with lines like "I always try to be real nice first." And Kid's insight about the way Heyes looks at women is unique. "he doesn't look down on women. He'll give you the same chance as any man." I think Kid is not going to be fooled again. He's learned his lesson.

Inside Outlaw: Oh boy, I can see why Heyes didn't tell anyone the details. Even Kid wasn't happy with the plan! Heyes waited till they were close enough to taste that money, and counted on Kid to back him up, even if Kid was angry. As usual, lots of good lines: "Sometimes it was like travelling with a  gang of three-year-olds instead of hardened criminals." Guess Heyes figured they'd forget about all the pain once they had all the gain.

Eva Hanley: Congratulations on posting your first challenge! Now I want to know, who's the Fagin teaching Heyes how to crack a safe?

  Riders57 - An excellent piece ! I love how vivid and plausible the four characters are, we get the impression to see and hear each one of them. The contrast between the planning, scheming and self-assured Heyes and the I-am-entitled-to-better-it-should-come-to-me Wheat is stricking. Many great lines, in particular the bantering between HH and KC 'why don't you shoot him ? Too easy a target, no sport in it'  


Silverkelpie - The plot is really thickening ! I love not only the brilliant display of HH's detective skills but also the irony of Jenkins' complaint that the boys could not understand about seeking a first start, debts owed to whom kept him out of jail or thiefs that are not necessarily killers. The social commentaary and reversal of situation ('it takes less strength to put people down than it does to pick them up'  - ' there's colored folks who look down on whites ?' ) is very well written. Finally, some great humor lines (' they are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny' - 'they always think the butler did it' - ' it's all the continental types'   )


Bluebelle - Such a good -unintended- description of HH and KC points of excellence from Wheat and the rest of the gang ! The team has lost its two champions and with them its place to the podium. The gang's disillusionment (he'd take a bank, not this godforsaken backwater) is only normal. Well done !

AKeays -  Great action sequence. I am especially admirative of your descriptions of places and, of course, horse action. Your extensive knowledge of both clearly shows in the text. 

Nancy - Limericks are totally unfamiliar in my part of the world, so, thanks for introducing me to them, it is really funny.

Cimarron - "Miscasting" the Kid as the dangerous outlaw, rather than the rescuer of damsels in distress was an excellent idea. Gaby played and lost, most particularly for having underestimated her opponent. The tension builds up very nicely until the final outcome. Enjoyed the reading !

InsideOutlaw - Very good story and very well written, both in terms of the characters and for the very visual feel ofthe piece. it really takes you there. I particularly liked the insights into HH's character, strengths and motivations, the planning, the sense of accomplishment, the quest of overcoming oneself. We can see the mastermind at work, all the while mindfull of his men and their own personalities. I also enjoyed a lot the Kid's confidence in and pride for his partner throughout the piece ( 'how do you know ?' ' because you planned it'.)

Cimarron:  I very much like the Kid's character throughout this.  He's tough and unwilling to let Gaby use him.  He might like helping the needy folks, but he knows a user when he sees one.  He sure set her straight.  Great last line!

EvaHanley:  Welcome, it's so great to have you here!  I enjoyed this scene very much.  The observations of the onlooker were great; I could easily picture Heyes working diligently, but confidently under his tutelage.  Very well-written and I'm looking forward to more from you.

Helen West: Heyes had to be a tough kid to survive, didn't he? What struck me first was, 15 is so young! What was I doing at 15? Not trying to stay alive in an outlaw gang. And the fact that the gunslinger shot members of the posse, that means everyone in the gang would be wanted for murder. I'm also struck by the way you show Heyes' drive and determination. He realized there were certain skills that he needed, like practicing picking up small objects when riding. Nobody told him to do that, but he realized it was a useful skill, and he kept practicing. Heyes definitely became a winner in this outlaw Olympics.

EvaHanley - Congratulations on posting your first challenge and in being so eloquent in a foreign language.  Your take on the prompt was very original, and like some of the best stories, it fills in gaps from their past.  It certainly whetted my appetite to know more about Heyes' apprenticeship in the den of thieves.  I hope you continue with this glimpse into Heyes' past and I look forward to many more stories from you.  That first one is nerve-wracking, isn't it?  I'm sure everyone will tell you it gets easier from here.
 
 
Helen West - Another great glimpse into Heyes' backstory.  It's a very realistic take on how men can behave like over-grown children and slip back into bullying behaviours so easily.  The drive for respect was laid out so well and you captured the  determination of the character in the practicing and the need to better himself, which contrasted so much with the mentally-lazy outlaws who looked no further ahead than their next cut of the take.  The adolecent Heyes really took notice of this line, didn't he?  “There’s more ways to beat a man than by beating him to a pulp or shooting him down or beating him in a race, Heyes.”

Nancy Whiskey:  I got a bit out of order in my reading, but I enjoyed your poem.  I admire anyone who can tell a story via poetry and in so very few words.  

Helen West:  Heyes had a tough time fitting into this gang, but, luckily for him, he had a leader who knew enough to step back and let him figure out his own place.   Little did Richtofen know that he was creating an outlaw genius!