Applause and Feedback

Cimarron - You captured the tense excitement of competition so well in this piece and the animal's motivations just seemed so spot on.  You horse-lovers really add another dimension to our stories and this is no exception.  I did love the little look of triumph at the end.

Hunkeydorey -  You always write angst with a slightly different spin to it and this certainly fit the prompt nicely.  It seemed fitting to know that the Kid's first bullet found a mark which put his mother's killer through a lifetime of hell 'bent in leather.'  The light banter made the sudden turn a big surprise, but you know me; I love those.

Moonpie - Welcome back to the world of writing and I'm so glad we can tempt you but with this little group.  You chose one of the cutest dogs in the world and of course Heyes had an ulterior motive in walking the dog for the old lady.  I am glad that the Kid managed to find him out.  Great fun.

Nancy Whiskey - You managed to fit a whole lot into a short story and it was just right for the prompt.  I could just see the Kid being canny enough to get out of there, but he never reckoned with the trap and sabotage.  Loved the last line, full of promise of more excitement.

RosieAnnie - Loved this.  You caught the emotions, dialogue and characterisations just right and the plot was sublime.  I could almost feel the weariness creeping in and it was clear that the boys were heart sick of the life.  You made the decision to give up the quest for amnesty a triumphant thing and you get the feeling that they'd never look back.  Loved it!

Gringa - Very clever the way you fit the life of crime, Heyes' fear for the Kid's future if he continued to live as a gunman, and the decision to try for amnesty in so few lines.  I can certainly relate to all that music being played all over the house too so I'm glad you got a challenge out of it!  I never did.

Javabee - Your writing is getting more and more accomplished.  You'd never know you were so new at it and you have the dialogue down pat. I had read this definition in word detective too and thought about using it, so I was really glad to see it used so well here.  I think the Kid really did so this young man a great service.  It was only a matter of time before he met someone faster and more experienced and there was a great chance that he'd end up facedown in his own blood.  A wonderful entry for the challenge.

Remuda - First of all, I love the title.  'Happenstance' is such a lovely word, full of promise and foreshadowing.  The sense of sheer hopelessness of their poverty and of being heartsick of their situation permeated the first part.  The Kid's innate wisdom seemed to win out in this one.  He was so right.  Why was the door still locked?  I guess freedom won out over the relative comfort of the dodgy cell.  Great story

Moonpie - I just love King Charles Spaniels and yes, I could see Heyes quickly finding out that a cute dog is a babe magnet!  The Kid knew he was up to something and it was loads of fun finding out what.  So glad we tempted you back.

Nancy Whiskey - so few words, but a very succinct and emotive story.  You kept the Kid right in character with his hair-trigger instincts telling him something was wrong and he was proved right.  Loved the last line. 

Rosieannie - Absolutely fantastic read and you really caught the mood of hopelessness so well.  I did love seeing a familiar old face and it seemed to draw to in inextricable conclusion that they had no other option.  It was sad to see them give up, but you made it a positive choice because they were being used so badly and let down by the governor.

Gringa -  Oh, goodness me!  I can just see Jorge announcing 'I know a song about that' when he found out what the prompt was.  You did a great job of telling the amnesty story in so few words

Javabee - This seemed very episode-like an dwas just the conversation they'd be likely to have.  I, personally, think the Kid was right, not just because it saved the lad's life but because it he would have been such a pain in the butt and needed taught a lesson only the Kid could deliver.  Great story.

Remuda - Another wonderful piece from you and the Kid knew something was wrong, even though Heyes was rejoicing in his plan finding them abed for the night and food  - no matter how bad.  You really painted pictures with your clever choice of words  The negative moods were painted like a palette of greys in my mind.

Hunkerdorey - Wow, you took us on an emotional roller coaster with this one.  The gentle banter was so normal I didn't expect them to come face to face with one of the raiders.  Loved the way you ratcheted up the emotion and I think the Kid made the correct decision to leave him be.

Moonpie - Judging by this I hope you're not going to keep us waiting for another five years for your next one.  Love those little dogs and it's just typical of Heyes to find a way to turn everything to his advantage.

Nancy Whisky -  I particularly admired the brevity of this one, you got so much into such a short story and still gave us a hook at the end.  Are you going to write what happens when Heyes turns up?  I hope so. (hint, hint) 

RosieAnnie -  Oh, this just caught them at the end of their tether and showed us what could be is the Governor .  doesn't come through with the amnesty.  They'd had enough and you made me actually feel their fatigue and desperation.  Yes, I think they could do this is the right circumstances.

Gringa - Judas Priest is not my kind of music, so I don't know the song this comes from, but you managed to fit in robbery to amnesty with Heyes worrying about the Kid in so few lines.  Well done.

Javabee -  yes, this young man did need to be taught a lesson and the Kid was probably the only one who could do it.  The whole debate about the fast-draw blowing their cover was spot on.  Well-written and enjoyable

Remuda - So Heyes had a clever plan to find them a bed for the night?  It sounds like the Kid's instincts saved them from a long stretch because drunks are usually kicked out the morning after the night before.  Very clever!   
      

Silverkelpie - A twist in the hairy tale?  I had to look up those special cows and they do look like they will attack with those big horns.  I do think that poor Mabel was stolen and that she'll never be seen again.  Lots of funny lines to go with the mystery.

Keays  -  A very exciting chase.  It made me feel like I could see it.  Of course we could rely on the Kid to come and get Heyes out of jail!  I did like the way the Kid tricked his way in.  I enjoyed the key locked on the safe scenario and Heyes being disappointed it wasn't more of a challenge to him.  Very typical of him! 

Cimarron - What an interesting perspective, from the horse's point of view.  Of course it wasn't the prize money he was racing for, he was pushing himself on to beat his rival for the mares.  The triumphant little look at the end was a lovely touch.

Hunkeydorey -  The way you took an everyday scene and turned it to high drama was very clever.  I didn't see that man from their past coming at all, especially after that funny banter about the eggs.  The Kid did the right thing.  Leave him in Hell.

Moonpie - I thought it was very funny, the way Heyes was obviously trying to keep the Kid out of something by doing the work himself for a change, but what?  Attracting young ladies with a cute puppy, of course.  Loved that the puppy was hell bent on chewing leather but never chewed anything of Heyes'.

Nancy Whiskey - You gave us a short story but packed a whole lot into such a short piece.  The use of the prompt was clever, the saddle being tampered with to make sure the Kid was tampered with.  Killer last line!

Rosieannie - I really enjoyed this story of them giving up amnesty and it seemed such a logical step for them to take.  They were at the end of their tethers and couldn't take any more hardship.  I wonder if they'd have done it if Heyes hadn't bumped into Louise?

Javabee - The young man sounds like a complete jerk and could certainly had his life taken either by another gunman or by the hangman's noose when he killed someone.  He was lucky to bump into the Kid, even if it was a hard lesson.  Great story.

Remuda - Trust Heyes to have a plan when they are completely broke, but the Kid seems to have saved them from it because the cell door, as he quite rightly pointed out, was still locked.  Yet again his instincts save them when Heyes is sitting on his laurels and congratulating himself.  You caught the way their strengths compliment one another perfectly.

Just catching up on comments for January and I have enjoyed playing with you folks!

Gringa - Not being a Judas Priest fan I don't know this, but did love the glimpse of your family life of your son (Jorge - not sure if he's your son?) playing the son over and over again when he know what the prompt was.  Good for you for getting a challenge out of it if it's not your kind of music either.  Like everyone else I think you fitted so much into so few lines.  Far more than I could have managed.

Javabee - I could see that young man getting under the Kid's skin, especially when he meddles with respectable women.  I could see why Heyes was upset as it could make people suspicious about who they were, but it sounded to me like the Kid did the right thing in teaching him a lesson and for the town to see him cut down to size.  Characterizations spot on and written in a very visual manner.  Great job.

Remuda - Like Silverkelpie I love the title and thought that the Hannibal Heyes plan to get them shelter and food with only two bits between them was very clever.  The interplay between the boys was caught so well though, because the Kid soon picked up the flaw in his plan and got him to see sense.  Yes, why was the cell door still locked.  The blend of their skills as such an unbeatable team was well-written and understated and all the more effective for that.  Great story.

Keays:  Somehow I managed to get out of order reading these.  This one was definitely action-packed and I enjoyed the Kid's bold rescue of his unobservant partner.  So nice to see him in command.  Silly sheriff, thinking Heyes would have any trouble opening his safe.

Nancy Whiskey:  I sure hope this is a scene from a longer story, because I'm hooked!  Lots of unanswered questions here, but a powerful scene.

RosieAnnie:  You are so good at bringing the supporting characters to life.  Louise was spot on and the range of emotions you gave her was perfect.  Angry, then pitying, and finally her larcenous character surfacing.  Heyes having a chance to unburden himself to someone who is fully aware of his past was a great scene.

Remuda:  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  Still...willingly going to jail?  They really were desperate! Good thing Heyes had his lockpick.

Gringa:  Clever use of the prompt.  I admire your ability to re-write lyrics and adapt a song like that.

Javabee:  Once again I managed to get out of order with your challenge and Gringa's.  Sorry.  I enjoyed this very much.  The two partners are angry but they each have their reasons to be.  The Kid was certainly taking the long view teaching that boy a lesson.  I wonder if it took?

I'm a little late with comments for last month, but better late than never.....

Silverkelpie - I've seen cows like Mabel before and love them! Love that Heyes was talking to her to pass the time on the train. Great line here: "Sometimes I think our fate will be sealed in a cloud of perfume and petticoats.” Also loved the whole exchange with the sheriff regarding 'breeding'. I certainly hope Mabel's fate wasn't at the tannery.

Keays - Shame on Heyes for not paying more attention to his surroundings, particularly who was in those surroundings. Exciting story with everything one could want, a chase, a jailbreak, safe-cracking...Loved Heyes' smart alec comment to the sheriff about the safe. Great last line!

Cimarron - Good idea writing the story from the horses's poit of view. Humans aren't the only ones competitive with each other. Loved the triumphant look at the end.

Hunkeydorey - Nice, funny banter and them, BAM, angst hits you from out of nowhere. Tense situation there between Kid and the old man. I think the right decision was made, let the man have to live with his misery as a reminder of what he'd done, not the mention the fear that one day Kid might return to finish him off. That was a worst punishment than killing him on the spot.

Moonpie - So glad you decided to write again! I loved this story. I would've been suspicious of Heyes too. Liked the reaction of Kid to walking the dog and then when he found out what Heyes had been up to. A very different and great take on the prompt.

Nancy Whiskey - Short yet powerful. Imaginative way to catch Kid. Now I'm wondering exactly what the last line implies: where is Hannibal Heyes? Would love to read more on this.

RosieAnnie - This was intriguing. What a perfect character to bring back to possibly help the boys on their new venture. You wrote her very believable. Maybe giving up will turn out to be a blessing disguise...if they don't get caught ;) This will be interesting as it's expanded...

Gringa - Have to admit this is one song I haven't heard, but that doesn't detract from the wonderful way you rewrote the lyrics. Nice how you managed to get their story into so many verses.

Javabee - Another wonderful entry and take on the prompt. I have to agree that if Kid hadn't been the one to teach that boy his lesson, it wouldn't have been long before he got himself killed. Heyes makes a logical argument too, but I think Kid made the right choice.

Remuda - This made me freeze more than I already am! Wonderful beginning. Heyes' plan worked just a little too well. Kid had a good point, why were they still there after a couple of days. He may have saved them a lifetime of incarcerated misery. Think I'd rather be cold and free compared to locked up and semi-warm.

MOONPIE; I'm glad that my challenge topic inspired you to write again and this post was no disappointment.  I loved this story.  Of course Heyes was up to something.  It's a well known fact that a puppy on a leash is definite 'girl bait'!   Good to see the Kid winning one!


ROSIEANNIE; This was a good story. Took me a while to clue into who Louise was, but once I got it--I got it!  This is very fitting and I can certainly see them going back to a more sophisticated life of crime over just plain bank robbery.  This offers a challenge.  I could see it happening.

GRINGA; Again, not a fan of Judas Priest and I don't really recognize this.   But the ability to put a story to rhyme is very enviable.

JAVEBEE; I can certainly understand Heyes' concern.  But Kid had a valid point as well.  That little smart-mouthed jerk really needed a wake-up call and Kid was good enough to give it to him.

REMUDA; A very good Hannibal Heyes plan but even those can backfire once in a while.  At least he has the Kid there to 'watch his back' and notice the little things.  Hey, they got out of the weather and something to eat as well, so all's well and ends well.

Finishing up January, before any of your overachievers start posting for February.

Gringa, I'm not a Judas Priest fan, so I can't comment on whether your poem fits the song. I don't know the song at all. The rhyme is clever, and you tell a story in just a few verses, which is a quality I admire. They definitely would be riding hell bent for leather in the situation you describe. 

Javabee: A revealing conversation. I like how you started with a familiar refrain for Heyes, and you took it personal and deep. I think Kid opened up here because Heyes did. Your version of Curry is very true to the series', that of the compassionate gunfighter. That may sound like an oxymoron, but it does fit here. Curry gave Heyes something to think about, didn't he?

Remuda: What struck me here is how well you maintained the feeling of cold, and carried that through as a theme. Not only as the physical temperature, but the cold reception of the bartender, and Curry apparently catching a cold. Cold as a motivator, too, because everything they do here is aimed on getting out of the cold.

Oh, Keays, I think this is one of your best so far.  The banter was sparkling, the chase thrilling and the excitement palpable.  The moment they walked into the saloon was hilarious and the descriptions were just spot on.  Your take on the prompt (you mischievous little scamp you) was a double-entendre laden posse of the most unfortunately-named souls west of the Mississippi.  Fantastic continuation.  I hope you plan on continuing with this because I can take as much of this as you care to throw at us.

Glad you like it SK!  I can keep it coming.  LOL!

Silverkelpie:  The butler did it!!!  Oh wait, maybe not.  The other butler did it!  Geez, what are our two pseudo-detectives gonna do on a train full of butlers?  The plot thickens even more and I look forward to the next installment.  I love how you mix light humor into your dark murder stories so effortlessly.  You had some great lines in here, too.  I was going to cut and paste my favorite, but don't want to spoil the fun for the folks who haven't read it yet.  Let's just say it's something that every new father has wondered.

Keays:  Darn you, I slurped my morning coffee without even tasting it.  Great continuance.  I laughed out loud when the boys realized what they'd walked into.  Lots of good, descriptive action in this one which really kept me on the edge of my seat.  The 'Pig and Trough' was a hoot and put me in mind of an old Saturday Night Live skit called the 'Slop and Trough' where the customers were served their beer and food at a trough just like pigs.  I got a great visual of the boys.  Well-done.

Silverkelpy ~ Hey SK, good storey/serial and I like the way it is panning out.  So many wonderful names, and so many butlers....  You get so many twists and turns, and always make the best of a good cliff-hanger.   I can't wait for the next instalment.

I still can't figure out who/what/where/when, but I can guarantee that their supper will be served immaculately.

In my mind Malachi is playing to the gallery... 

Can't wait to see how this develops.


Keyes ~ I love that this is a continuation too.  It gives lots of time to give a great storey arch.  Lots of drama, heaps of action.

What is going to happen to the boys....

Can't wait Keays, but am sure you won't disappoint.

Looking forward to next month.

Nancy x

Silverkelpie - I'm so glad to see this mystery continuing and I didn't expect Maud to be dead.  I loved the blood spatter examination at the scene and the way Heyes worked out how she must have been killed.  So who's the old man?  I can't wait to find out in the next part.

Keays - Naughty, naughty, Keays and great fun.  This story has it all; banter, excitement and double meanings.  You took the name prompt and didn't just run with it -  you galloped at full tilt chased by a posse.  I can't wait for more.

Nancy Whiskey - I adored the actor's real name.  No wonder he changed it!  You gave the boys a great adventure and us lots of fun in reading about this tale of smuggling and double-dealing.

Silverkelpie: I love your mystery-ious mind and how it works. I'm trying to figure out the mystery, but as usual, I prefer to just sit back and enjoy. The way you show us the class differences is interesting; decent women don't feed their own babies, huh? I enjoy seeing Heyes and Curry working out a problem when they don't have an imminent threat of arrest. By what they do, you show us their personalities -- Heyes, figuring out how far the train moved by the blood splatter. And, of course, they only find this woman's body because Curry insists they leave the warmth and safety of the train to find her. "It ain't up to us to sentence her. It's up to us to bring her in." Then you give us the bitter realism of what happens to flesh left out in the cold and snow, among hungry wild animals. Not a pretty picture, but real. I'm looking forward to finding out who done it.

Keays:  snappy dialog at the start to draw us in. "I'd rather have my belly empty than full of lead." Good choice, Kid! All the names of places remind me of Dickens, who came up with some pretty wild and descriptive names. Here, I laugh and simultaneously cringe, because I figure something bad is going to happen, and it does! And then Curry does a fair imitation of Heyes, talking to the posse and driving them crazy. Again, your knowledge of horses adds to the story. Good stuff, Keays!

Nancy Whiskey: Adelphi Pettigrew? Seymour Ramsbottom? Almost as phony as Benedict Cumberbatch! He is hilarious the way he keeps reciting his own reviews. And a Bannerman man at the end, but luckily, he doesn't think Smith or Jones are terribly suspicious names. More snappy dialogue here, and I loved the little bit or swordplay.

Hunkey Dorey: I think you win the "pulling at Rosieannie's heartstrings" award so far this month. This really touched me. So sad in many ways, yet also full of love and caring. So ironic that our boys picked two common names from a magazine story, never realizing how famous those two names would become. I wonder if you've had much experience with people going through the dying process? I've had some experience there, and it is really close to the story you tell. Beautifully done.