Alias Smith and Jones Fun and Fanfiction
Alias Smith and Jones Fun and Fanfiction
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Alias Smith and Jones Fun and Fanfiction

A site for all kinds of fun for fans of Alias Smith and Jones
 
HomeHome  PortalPortal  RegisterRegister  Log in  

 

 Applause and Feedback

Go down 
Go to page : Previous  1 ... 6, 7, 8 ... 22 ... 38  Next
AuthorMessage
Javabee

Javabee

Posts : 812
Join date : 2013-09-08
Age : 64
Location : Seattle

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptyTue Feb 02, 2016 12:52 pm

Stepha3nie:

I think this is my favorite of all your great stories so far. Boasting a clever Hannibal Heyes plan, with a surprising twist, it kept me wondering right up to the end. All the outlaws were delightfully in character and it was perfect for the prompt. This was great fun to read, loved it! Thanks, S3!

_________________
"If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning." Mae West
coffee 
Back to top Go down
Stepha3nie

Stepha3nie

Posts : 5114
Join date : 2014-07-12
Age : 52
Location : Scotland

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptyTue Feb 02, 2016 4:42 pm

MoulinP: Goodness – I thought I had bad nightmares. Poor Kid. He definitely got a visit from the green fairy. The dream sequences were hilarious. I especially loved the fastest duck and the singing horses, of course. Kid’s lucky he has such a good friend looking after and taking care of him. It was also nice to see, how the relationship between Heyes and Mary develops. I’m wondering where exactly Heyes went after leaving the party. Did the same friendly people who carried Kid to Mary’s house also get Heyes, or did he just happen to be already there? What will her neighbours say?

A fun read.

_________________
"I can resist everything - except temptation"  Oscar Wilde
For me temptation is Hannibal Heyes, especially in chaps!
Back to top Go down
MoulinP

MoulinP

Posts : 244
Join date : 2015-11-29
Age : 60
Location : Norfolk, England

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySat Feb 06, 2016 6:12 am

Riders57
Brilliant description of what Reverend Spencer must have been going through. His struggle with his doubts and the realisation that his doubts were human after all and that he wasn't a failure by giving into them. A good explanation of his decision to try and become a man of faith again. Liked it.

Keays
A felt cold reading this. I began to wonder though whether the boys would find any shelter. Then all of a sudden the Kid's keen nose smelt the wood smoke. Not a moment too soon. I liked the girl's reaction once they had unmuffled. Great story.

Stormr
Spine-chillingly spooky. Even though I had guessed the end I still had to read to the end just in case. Don't blame the boys for wanting to move on. Great story.

Silverkelpie
Read the first part beforehand as you suggested. That really set the scene. Laughed at some of the throw away lines like "let's keep your little fella out of this shall we?" and "why would I run into a hole? I ain't a bear." Or "is this  formal break-in or can can anyone join in?" Loved the surprise ending about where the gold was hidden. Didn't spot that one at all. Well done.

Hunkeydorey
Despair and guilt over a senseless act of war. Movingly described and just a hint that the angelic little boy was the Kid coming to get him. Liked it.

Hannaheyes
Celebrating after the amnesty - of course! Who would blame them? Turned into a damp squibb for the Kid though. Ironic that on that day of all days Heyes ended up in jail. Well done.

Remuda
Was it the Kid speculating on his new life? Thought provoking little piece. Nice.

Stephan3ie
A Hannibal Heyes Plan! Always good in my book. For a rush job this sure was a good tail. Getting the gang locked up and out of the way so they wouldn't spoil the plain was inspired. And the way Heyes went about it. He knows his men. Great story

_________________
Kid Curry and that other fella; Hannibal Heyes and whatsname
Back to top Go down
InsideOutlaw

InsideOutlaw

Posts : 538
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 65
Location : Colorado

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySat Feb 06, 2016 10:24 am

Silverkelpie:  Cyrano de Bergerac has nothing on the Kid!  LOL, I really enjoyed this.  Of course, being a woman whose cookies are on the top shelf.... Lots of fun with a thoughtful story rolled up inside.  


Riders:  Nice to see Reverend Spencer back to preaching but not forgetting the lessons he learned from a certain gun-slinging philopher.

MoulinP:  Demon drink worked its wonders on the Kid in a terrible way.  And very clever, funny dreams they were!

Keays:  I enjoyed last month's challenge so much that I'd already read and commented on this one posted under your stories.  Nicely done and, yes, it works fine for this month's prompt. 

Storm:  You slipped into a spooky story without me even being aware that you were going there.  Nice moody tale.


Silverkelpie2:  There's more to Nancy than her make-up and she wins the day with her cleverness.  Shame on the Temperance League for trying to upset the natural order.

_________________
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
Back to top Go down
InsideOutlaw

InsideOutlaw

Posts : 538
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 65
Location : Colorado

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySat Feb 06, 2016 10:55 am

HunkyDorey:  This chilling tale was beautifully written yet very difficult to read when narrated through the voice of such a cowardly man.  He even took the easy way out at the end rather than face the man who haunted his life.  I really loved it.

HannaHeyes: I was visualizing the boys partying in The McCreedy Bust while I read this one.  Too funny that Heyes would run into a man who knew him while incapacitated.  His silver tongue failed him but his friends did not.

Remuda: The villain we all love to hate allows us a glimpse into his smug, psychopathic mind.  Not a pretty place to be.

Stephanie: I love me a Heyes plan and this one was a doozy.  Heyes knows exactly how to make his men pull the perfect job--keep them out of the way.  Clever Heyes, clever you!

Thanks everyone, for a month of great stories!

_________________
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
Back to top Go down
skykomish

skykomish

Posts : 181
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 63

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySun Feb 07, 2016 9:16 am

Moulin P - Duck?  With wings flapping over ornately decorated colts?  Love it!  Lot's of crazy, down-the-rabbit-hole type of fun in this story.  I am familiar with absinthe in theory.  (My husband wants to add it to his very large, and largely unopened liquor collection now that it is legal again.)  A fun read.

Keays - As others have noted, you are very good with descriptive action.  I like the way this part plunges right into the confusion of the events.  I could feel the cold and the growing desperation as they looked for shelter.  The cozy conclusion was lovely with a touch of humor from the girls.  Well done!

Storm - The red sky made me wonder a little at the beginning, but then I shrugged it off as they rode into the town.  The description of the saloon was very good, especially the references to the smells.  Then things started to feel off, and then the creepiness set in.  By the end I was no longer even sure if the bartender had been real.  Great work.  Loved it!

_________________
When you put your hand in a flowing stream, you touch the last that has gone before and the first of what is still to come.
- Leonardo DaVinci
Back to top Go down
skykomish

skykomish

Posts : 181
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 63

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySun Feb 07, 2016 9:52 am

Silverkelpie - "The Whole in the Ground Gang" is one of my favorite stories.  This sequel is very interesting.  It hovered somewhere between comedy and spookiness.  It made me uneasy, even when I was laughing at the funny lines.  "...Is this a formal break-in or can anyone join in?”  Nancy herself was at the heart of the story for me.  The matronly woman we see in the mine is more formidable than her painted counterpart.  She is also more dangerous.  I would not want to get in her way.


Hunkeydorey - Bleak.  But as dark as the narrator's mood, I'm not sure that I believe him.  There is something selfish and deceptive in his words.  I don't know what it is.  Perhaps it is merely my own residual anger from the times I have dealt with suicide.  I want him to face the Kid.  I want him to change, at least a little, rather than crawling back inside a bottle and taking the ultimate escape.  Powerful piece.

_________________
When you put your hand in a flowing stream, you touch the last that has gone before and the first of what is still to come.
- Leonardo DaVinci
Back to top Go down
skykomish

skykomish

Posts : 181
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 63

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySun Feb 07, 2016 11:59 am

HannaHeyes -  I think the judge got a real bad case of the crankies.  He was cantankerous but fair in The Day They Hanged Kid Curry.  I guess he really hates having his sleep interrupted.  I enjoyed your description of a disheveled and hungover Kid Curry in the hotel room.  I liked how Deputy Wilkins took care of the Kid as well.  Fun story.

Remuda - Yikes!  Your words paint a picture of a twisted mind devoid of even the scent of remorse.  My skin was crawling by the time I was done reading.  That is quite a feat in so few words.  I'm glad there is another story, because I need something lighter to wipe away the glimpse of the creepy crawly things infesting the mind of Danny Bilson.   Well written and insightful, but I am still shuddering.

_________________
When you put your hand in a flowing stream, you touch the last that has gone before and the first of what is still to come.
- Leonardo DaVinci
Back to top Go down
skykomish

skykomish

Posts : 181
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 63

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySun Feb 07, 2016 12:25 pm

Stepha3nie -  I can imagine the looks the gang would have given Heyes and the Kid if they had been told  the true plan.  I like outlaw tales and this one was very good. Your descriptions of Wheat were particularly accurate.  I also enjoyed the opening scene with an excited Heyes waking Kid in the middle of the night.  What a fun story!


Well, I am caught up with January and can now move on to February.

_________________
When you put your hand in a flowing stream, you touch the last that has gone before and the first of what is still to come.
- Leonardo DaVinci
Back to top Go down
Keays

Keays

Posts : 1468
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 63
Location : Camano Island Washington

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySun Feb 07, 2016 3:23 pm

I'm in the same boat, Wichita.  Great story so far, and I can understand Heyes appreciating his little mustang.  They might be small, but they're tough!  As much as I'd love to know what's coming next, why don't you hold off posting the next bet until next month?  It doesn't take much tweaking to make a story fit a prompt.  Up to you, of course, and I'll certainly read it wherever you post it!
Back to top Go down
Silverkelpie

Silverkelpie

Posts : 1447
Join date : 2013-08-24
Location : Over the rainbow

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptyMon Feb 22, 2016 1:08 pm

WichitaRed - great to see you playing over here and wonderful descriptive language in this one.  Love the visual of the 'tromped on frog' and 'can’t hit the broad side of a barn with a handful of banjos'.  You took us straight into the action with the rockslide.  Your knowledge of horses shines through with snippets like releasing of the animal's nervous energy.  Lots of tension and I'll certainly be going over to read the rest of it.


Keays - We all love Karma-Lou so a story with her featured is always welcome in my book.  I'm not sure that Heyes could ever be described as a 'no-good saddle-tramp.'  I can honestly say this is the first horse-ass-shaving story I've ever read.  Top marks for originality as well as giving us a glimpse at how Heyes got his horse.


MoulinP - This was a wonderful romp.  Full of fun and who knew there were so many uses for clothes horses?  Loved this very original take on the prompt.  Full of ingenuity and lightness.  Great fun!

_________________
Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
Back to top Go down
WichitaRed

WichitaRed

Posts : 195
Join date : 2014-01-02

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptyMon Feb 22, 2016 7:21 pm

Keays. Horses

I throughly enjoyed the story..as always your writing was wonderful. Love your use of realistic and fun dialogue. You really have a gift for it and of course your characters voices are always dead on.  However, since this was a clipping out of a full story I also felt rather lost as I read it 

MoulinP. Horses
Ah double use of challenge words...well done. 

Silverkelpie horses

I'm with Heyes as I am reading your opening, guess I'm as much as a cynic as he.  I love your line...the mayors smile deepened Heyes worry lines.

Oh my you are just insidious.... You didn't make our poor boys go through with it, did you?  Course no one would know, right? Lol lol lol

_________________
Wichita Red..."I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time and I live life the way I want to live it."
Back to top Go down
RosieAnnieUSA

RosieAnnieUSA

Posts : 465
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 102
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptyWed Feb 24, 2016 9:48 am

We're all shut down in anticipation of a big snow in the big city, so I'm taking the opportunity to read and comment this month's stories so far.

Wichita Red:  Best line I've seen in a long time from anyone: "no one understands fear until he has someone else to look after." And my next favorite line might be "we both know you can't hit the broad side of a barn with a handful of banjos." Your knowledge of and familiarity with horses serves you well in this story. I didn't know a horse could be called a calico; I thought that was just a cat! Entertaining and educational!

Keays: I remember this story, or, at least, this part of it. Excellent fit for the prompt. Logan is a terrific character. My favorite line of his would be "If I can shave my own face without nickin' it, I'm sure I can shave a horse's ass." Classic!
Back to top Go down
http://www.lunartidemassageandangeltherapy.com
RosieAnnieUSA

RosieAnnieUSA

Posts : 465
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 102
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptyWed Feb 24, 2016 10:25 am

Moulin P: Clotheshorses! I love the way your mind works. Yes, it's an excellent response to the prompt, very imaginative. Gotta love a Hannibal Heyes plan. Love the denoument.

Silverkelpie: I love how you lead up to the reveal. "Ridin' would be cruel but real entertainin'."

Cimarron: I enjoy the inspiration of the song. Your protagonist has probably reasoned things out pretty accurately. You came up with a unique response to the prompt, and you made it fit.

Inside Outlaw:  Heyes was ahead of his time, wasn't he? Another Hannibal Heyes plan worked out.
Back to top Go down
http://www.lunartidemassageandangeltherapy.com
Silverkelpie

Silverkelpie

Posts : 1447
Join date : 2013-08-24
Location : Over the rainbow

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySat Feb 27, 2016 8:43 am

Cimarron - A very interesting and different take on the prompt.  Somehow I feel you captured the spirit of an actor who might just be very good at the role.  He seemed to 'get it.'  I can see why the lyrics of this song stayed with you.

InsideOutlaw - A beautifully phrased picture of the patient winning over of a beautiful animal, instead of dominating it.  The details of each part of the process show a relationship rather than owning the horse.  Trust Wheat to muck it all up.  No wonder Heyes was furious!

Hunkeydorey - Clever!  I wondered what was going on all the way through this, right until the end; when we found out who 'Melvin' was and why he made sure all his messages went to Forbes.  I could see this happening.

_________________
Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
Back to top Go down
Silverkelpie

Silverkelpie

Posts : 1447
Join date : 2013-08-24
Location : Over the rainbow

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySat Feb 27, 2016 9:50 am

InsideOutlaw2 - You set the scene perfectly and then it starts to unfold just like an episode.  You take us straight to 'a horse's version of the hole' Another story with real depth of knowledge of the animals, but I get the feeling a few Kidettes won't be so forgiving about the pink pirate shirt!

_________________
Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
Back to top Go down
Cimarron

Cimarron

Posts : 314
Join date : 2013-11-03

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySat Feb 27, 2016 10:02 am


WichitaRed
- Fantastically descriptive writing and terrific visuals.  You have a particular talent with your twist of phrase, as others have mentioned.  Loved the story, full of action and shining with a deep love and knowledge of the subject.   

Keays - An interesting snippet from one of your long series.  It's good to see how Heyes got his horse and It was great to see Heyes described as a saddle tramp too.  Loved the shaving scene. 

MoulinP - So enjoyed this.  A very original take on the prompt and who knew clothes horses could build more than a fort?  Great fun and a joy to read. 

Silverkelpie - Oh, you wicked thing!  You didn't just do that to the boys, did you?

InsideOutlaw1 - This story shows a deep knowledge and love of horses, as well as keeping everyone right in character, right up to Wheat thinking he knew best.  I don't remember this one from first time around and enjoyed it immensely.      

Hunkeydorey - You sly old thing!  I wondered if the boys were going to appear at all, and then it all became clear at the end.  Very Heyesian.

InsideOutlaw2 - A very astute story from an obvious horsewoman.  It just shone with an intimate knowledge and - well - a deep dislike for the Kid's pink shirt.  Loved it.
Back to top Go down
InsideOutlaw

InsideOutlaw

Posts : 538
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 65
Location : Colorado

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySat Feb 27, 2016 11:07 am

Wichita Red:  Your action scene at the beginning quickly pulls the reader into the story with the horrific descriptions of a landslide.  I absolutely loved this line, "no man understands fear until he has someone else to look after."  Every parent in the world would agree with that statement.

Keays:  Of course, you already know I recognized this scene.  It certainly fits the prompt!

MoulinP:  LOL, I had to go look up what a clotheshorse was and I discovered I have one!  Thank goodness I don't have 199 more to deal with.  Smart of Heyes (and you) to find so many uses for such a specific item. 


Silverkelpie:  That was cute and I didn't see it coming.  My only question is who's in front?

Cimarron: What a clever premise for a story!  All the musings were very believable and I could see where the song could trigger inspiration.  Nicely done.

HunkeyDorey: I sure wouldn't wanted to be in Marty's shoes.  I had no idea what you were leading up to and laughed out loud when I got to the ending.  Loved it!

_________________
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
Back to top Go down
Hunkeydorey

Hunkeydorey

Posts : 537
Join date : 2013-08-24
Location : London

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySat Feb 27, 2016 12:15 pm

WichitaRed - In such an action-packed piece it's easy to forget that there are such nuggets of description.  Loved lines like 'made his eyes bulge like a tromped on frog.'  I felt as though I was in the middle of that landslide.  I agree that some fights are best left unfought.  This not only showed how well you know horses, but also how well you know the boys.  Great morsel to tempt me over to the long story.  

Keays - A piece from 'The Lineage'? I confess to not having read it, but this was enjoyable, especially the visual of the horse-shaving.  I'll give it a go when I have time in the summer.    

MoulinP - I can relate to this.  I do the same with my online shopping all the time.  What an original take on the prompt.  Loved it. 

Silverkelpie - Naughty, Silverkelpie.  How could you give them a job like this?  Am I the only one wondering which one went at the back?  I can see a line of people lining up to share a suit with either of them.  

Cimarron - The lyrics work so well for the boys as they are but it certainly took you to a different place.  One of the most original pieces I've read.  I, too, wondered if you had someone in mind for the part.  

InsideOutlaw - Heyes was so sensitive with the animal and took the time to build up a relationship of trust with her.  No wonder he was so mad a Wheat.  Loved the ending, but it struck me that he got off light.     

InsideOutlaw2 - I know so little about horses and feel like I'm reading an expert when I read stories like this.  I loved the wry observations of the Kid and the way they rounded up the animals did make me smile.  Did it have to be that shirt though?   Why not Heyes' horrible suit?
Back to top Go down
WichitaRed

WichitaRed

Posts : 195
Join date : 2014-01-02

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySun Feb 28, 2016 12:40 pm

Cimarron. It was interesting. I liked the introspective view, the unknown person, deep in thought. I know the song has some great lyrical poetry, however, I did feel it tug me into the person's thought. Although, I did enjoying his considerations.

_________________
Wichita Red..."I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time and I live life the way I want to live it."
Back to top Go down
WichitaRed

WichitaRed

Posts : 195
Join date : 2014-01-02

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySun Feb 28, 2016 1:01 pm

Inside outlaw....horses

Knew you were speaking of a horse from the first lines, because I to have fallen this way for more than one.  

I could also vividly see Kid Curry with his arms crossed, chewing on a twig and grinning.

Great line....Heyes came in sporting a smile so large it looked painful.   

You made me laugh out loud here.....Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan,” Heyes said as he crossed the corral.
Of course you do, Heyes.  Why’d I even ask?” said Kid.

Your knowledge of horses and training is really shining here, as a fellow horsewoman, I am really enjoying it.

Gotta say, the moment I read wheat lassoed the filly, my gut twisted sideways. Myself I would twice as angry as lucifer...cannot wait to see what you have Heyes do.


I'm gonna kill'em...I know it's why I'm sitting on you....oh, outlaw that is so very good.

Great story, thank you outlaw

_________________
Wichita Red..."I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time and I live life the way I want to live it."
Back to top Go down
WichitaRed

WichitaRed

Posts : 195
Join date : 2014-01-02

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptySun Feb 28, 2016 3:00 pm

Keays.... Horses

Wonder if Heyes feels as sick about them going to slaughter as I did, the moment Charmichael said it?  The kill lots just turn my stomach, rescued a few from there myself. 

Boy you have captured the truthful harshness of the West here. It is one of those soiled underbelly truths we don't like to speak of. But, you are speaking pure truth from your cattle men.

Although, I always saw Hannibal Heyes as a horseman and he is being so pragmatic about this, I am just going to have to go stand next to Kid and glare at him and more. 

Love this line.....When are you gonna learn ta’ talk me outa these crazy ideas?” the Kid asked as he wetted his bandana and wrapped it around his neck.  “What are we gonna do with an orphan foal, anyways?”

Talk about a surprise...oh my..stepping out into nothingness.  You had me holding my breath.

Good giggle line....You of all people, should be able to appreciate the agony of starving to death.”

Loved your whole rescuing the foal scene...your horse senses were writing for you. Well, done.

Oh my goodness the thought of Hannibal Heyes using all his learned skills to sneak in and release the Mustangs, just makes me love him more. Thank you. 
  My my, but Hannibal Heyes chasing after that freed herd would be a hell of a sight to see.

Absolutely tickled by your ending conversation. Bravo well done

_________________
Wichita Red..."I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time and I live life the way I want to live it."
Back to top Go down
Silverkelpie

Silverkelpie

Posts : 1447
Join date : 2013-08-24
Location : Over the rainbow

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptyMon Feb 29, 2016 9:42 am

Keays2 -  The opening scene was very visually written.  Great descriptions there.  You've got the boys right in character, with a practical Heyes seeing the waste of good horseflesh and the Kid seeing the suffering of the lost foal.  I just knew he was going to prevail and it seems their horses has something to say about it too.  Another story with a glowing knowledge of horses shining through and a very sweet and poignant picture of the vulnerable little animal saved by two pretty good bad men

  
Moonpie - Very clever little ditty.  They certainly weren't a one trick pony.  Great take on the prompt.

_________________
Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
Back to top Go down
Cimarron

Cimarron

Posts : 314
Join date : 2013-11-03

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptyMon Feb 29, 2016 9:59 am

Keays2 - Aw, you really pull at the heartstrings with this poor little baby split up from his mommy.  Of course the boys would want to help.  Loved it.

Moonpie - I never thought of 'one trick pony' for the prompt at all.  You cleverly showcased their skills in rhyme as well as capturing the quest for amnesty.  Good job.
Back to top Go down
InsideOutlaw

InsideOutlaw

Posts : 538
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 65
Location : Colorado

Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 EmptyMon Feb 29, 2016 10:07 am

Keays2: LOL!  Of course we both wrote about wild horses, we're westerners.  I enjoyed the whole well-written, knowledgeable tale and love the rationalizations at the end.  I'd say Smith and Jones are in a lot more trouble than Heyes and Curry ever were--that's a hanging offense!

Moonpie:  I admire anyone who can fit lyrics to a song and you did a great job.  I could easily 'hear' it as I read along.  Nicely done.

_________________
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson


Last edited by InsideOutlaw on Mon Feb 29, 2016 2:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Applause and Feedback - Page 7 Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Applause and Feedback
Back to top 
Page 7 of 38Go to page : Previous  1 ... 6, 7, 8 ... 22 ... 38  Next
 Similar topics
-
» Negative feedback
» MKIII VTA help with negative feedback.
» Altering the feedback line on a VTA boarded ST-70/ST-120 amp
» Query Letter Feedback
» Steam Traction World Updates

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Alias Smith and Jones Fun and Fanfiction  :: Writer's Area - Please email Admin to get your own thread for your stories. Use a new thread for each story. Please comment after the story. :: Challenge Stories :: Applause and Feedback-
Jump to: