Forgotten Love

Subject: Forgotten Love Fri Nov 13, 2015 8:53 am

A Forgotten Love

parts 1 and 2

Forgotten? No, not really, not honestly. I can''t. I don't really want to forget.

I keep those memories locked away because of the pain. No, I can't admit that to anyone, not even my cousin.

We were happy, even when times got rough. Maybe it was because we were family, maybe it was because we just knew no other way.

Sometimes, when I'm so alone it hurts,I can hear her voice, singing with her Irish brogue. Or her laughter, bright and full of life.

I can remember her smile and wish that I could see it again...

Every time I smell sugar cookies I have to catch myself from calling out. Sugar cookies were my favorite, mine and Grandpa's.

Life isn't very fair sometimes. Some of us got a bad deal when we were just too young to know any better. We made our way the best we could.

That's not a good excuse. I know that. I also know that she would be disappointed with me, my actions, what I turned into.

I've tried hard these last few years to mend my evil ways, tried to live more like she would have wanted. Hopefully, someday I will have an honest life and be a free man, so I can go back and make sure she knows that I haven't forgotten her; what she taught me.

I can't just go back and talk to her. Kansas just plain hurts too much.

But they say that bad memories fade away as we get older... I'm not sure if I want that, though. No matter how ugly and horrific my last memories are of her, I don't want to forget.

Because If I forget, I've got that many fewer lifelines to grab hold of when my own life gets too frazzled.

If I forget my past, will I really know my future path is headed in the right direction?

If I forget my first knowledge of love, and of being loved just because I am, then how will I ever recognize any love that I may find?

No, that first love, unconditional and pure, is not something that I am willing to even think about forgetting.

Whispered to me by Heyes

He was in a philisophical mood, reflecting on his past.

Thank you, Heyes for sharing.

P.S. He wants this dedicated to his Ma, Maureen Curry Heyes

Caroline written in 2009

Subject: Re: Forgotten Love Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:26 am

A Forgotten Love, pt 2

Forgotten love? No. I was pretty young and don't remember every detail, but I remember the important things.

I remember her hair and her smile and I can hear her singing.

I remember how she would get upset with me and Heyes for some of the grand plans we had. She was more worried than anything else. Looking back now, I can appreciate that. We would get carried away with the excitement and not even think about the danger. Heyes and I never understood why she fussed one minute and hugged us tight the next. We do now.

If I try hard enough I can smell her pies and oatmeal cookies. Oatmeal were my favorite, mine and Grandpa's. Want to know something funny? I've never found oatmeal cookies as good as hers.

I, uh, I can remember her laughing and smiling at some little thing my Pa would say or do. He would come in from the field or barn and she would light up and smile. That's really my first knowledge of love. What they had. Someday, I'd kind of like to find that, too.

We never had it easy, there was always chores and such. I came from a fairly big family, six boys and three girls. Ma worked hard just to keep us all fed and clothed. But, and this is important, she made us all feel special.

She rarely complained, except when we would mess up the house right after she cleaned. That's when we were in trouble with her.

As I said, I was kind of young when the raid happened. Maybe that's why it's important to me to keep the memories. They're the most I have. I found a few trinkets in the yard, but trinkets can't fill the long lonely hours.

Now, don't get me wrong, I know that she would be disappointed by me. I sure didn't turn out to be anything to be proud of, but I am trying to mend my ways. Ma used to say that anything done well and good was something to be proud of, but I'm pretty sure that me and Heyes don't exactly count in that tally.

But you asked about a forgotten love. No, I haven't forgotten the best example I ever saw. I hope I never do.

As told to me by Kid, after he heard that Heyes helped me write a few nights ago.

Thank you, Kid.

P.S. He wanted this dedicated to his parents, with a special thanks for all they taught.

Caroline written in 2009

Subject: Re: Forgotten Love Wed Dec 09, 2015 5:02 pm

These were posted on another site a few years ago. They were written for a challenge, but were not posted for it, because I didn't get the theme/title quite right. Embarassed

Posts : 305 Join date : 2014-08-12

These were both very touching to read. I enjoyed them both.

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