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 Applause and Feedback

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RosieAnnieUSA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Dec 20, 2015 12:56 pm

Riders 57: I remember this from another site. I liked it then, and I like it now. After all, who wouldn't like the image of Kyle as an expert skater, and the other members of the gang holding onto each other on the ice, trying not to fall down! And there's a good Hannibal Heyes plan, too.

Remuda: I don't remember this one, and I would have, I'm sure, since it is sweet and touching. Even in the face of all he's lost, Jed maintains some of the childish innocence that allows him to find pleasure in something as simple as a snowflake.
h
Gringa:  I like this protagonist very much. Even in the social restrictions of the day, she was smart and made a life for herself. And, she saved her money! She's changing her life, and so are our boys.

Moulin P: I really like this. You took unique inspiration from the prompt and gave us a very imaginative story. Your only problem is, now I want to know what happens next!
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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Dec 20, 2015 1:30 pm

Riders- Outlawing on ice.  How I wish this has been filmed it would be great fun to see, especially with Kyle zipping around like an expert.  Lots of fun and a great plan by Heyes.

Remuda - This is a very sweet little tale, with terribly touching moments like the little boy wondering if the snow would tase different.  Poignant and very lovely.

Gringa  - It was an unusual technique to write most of the story as an internal narrative but it worked to show us everything the woman was trying to hide.  I like the backstory and had no idea that prairie dogs and squirrels carried bubonic plague.  The last line was perfect and unexpected.


RosieAnnie
- Now wouldn't that just make anyone's Christmas?  You think you are going back to a cold and lonely home whilst being one of the very few working at that time, only to find the place decorated, a meal cooked, and old friends there to greet you.  I have walked that Christmas beat myself.  It's quiet and lonely, so it's great to see a happy ending. .  


MoulinP - Your first challenge!  Congratulations and thanks for posting.  Harry and Christopher?  Colour me intrigued.  Wait a minute...ex-law enforcement? Injured legs kept rather than amputate?  Is this my life story?  It's a very original take on the prompt and a great way to get 'ice' in.  I can't 'elp linking it.  Looking forward to reading more of this and I like the nods back to the series.  I loved it, but not sure about him being called 'Uncle Kid'.  Maybe it'll grow on me.

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Gringa

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Dec 20, 2015 1:35 pm

MoulinP - Very original and left me wanting to read a whole lot more.  It there a longer version posted?  I could see them having children who became detectives.  Who's behind this company?  I can't wait to find out.
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Dec 21, 2015 10:01 am

Remuda -- I like the idea of Valparaiso being relatively benign rather than the horror of a Dickensian (Oliver Twist) institution -- different from much of fanon.  A nice tale and I like the reflection back.  My favorite line:  "Thoughts wandered to a simpler time past."

Gringa -- great to have you writing again.  An interesting take on another who's life was bettered by having met the boys.  There were several lines that I particularly liked, but the one that I think was most descriptive of the woman's experiences and thoughts was:  "... when her looks were replaced by a painted on smile and a powdered on sympathy."  Very evocative of her past life.  Also a very good surprise ending.


Last edited by riders57 on Tue Dec 22, 2015 11:38 am; edited 1 time in total
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Stormr

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Dec 21, 2015 12:39 pm

Well, believe it or not, in this crazy time of year, I actually have had time to read the challenge stories!  Yippee for me!  

Riders -  Love the visual of Kyle on skates but then again he is probably my third favorite outlaw.  What a perfect Heyes Plan - can just see it all coming together.  

Remuda - Memories of Valparaiso.  Great visuals of young Heyes and Kid and simpler times.  

Gringa - Ah, a lady trying to start anew until someone from her past recognized her.  Nice of the boys to help her out.  Great last line!!

RosieAnnie - What a nice Christmas story with Lom and Harker included.  Ooooooo, Caroline.  Naughty Heyes though it was for a good cause.

MoulinP- First challenge - congrats!!  Second generation Heyes and Curry partnership.  Investigating with ties to the past.
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Dec 22, 2015 11:37 am

RosieAnnie -- I always enjoy reading your stories.  Your one paragraph summary of the aftermath of the civil war was masterful -- just enough.  This was a more decisive Miss Porter -- and therefore, more likeable -- than in the Pilot.  And, yes, I agree, family is not determined by mere sharing of DNA.

MoulinP -- welcome to the fun of challenges.  An interesting tie-in to the series.  You seem to have your own post-series universe worked out, if the footnotes are indicators.  I hope you continue this and I suspect that if you do, the Kid may just find out what's become of a certain old friend.
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MoulinP

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 23, 2015 6:26 am

Riders57
I can see this as a reminiscing episode filmed in flashback. I laughed out loud at Kyle skating.

Remuda
Sweet story. The Kid always does have a touch of innocent about him doesn't he? Whereas Heyes is more embittered and cynical. Wonder what made the difference?

Gringa
The boys to the rescue, Heyes taking the lead for a change.

RosieannieUSA
Lom does a Christmassy favour for Horace, H & C do a Christmassy favour for Lom. What goes around comes around.

MoulinP
Not gonna comment on my own story obviously! Thank you for your kind comments. I wasn't sure if you would like it. I'm afraid there is no longer version - yet, Gringa. Harry and Chris take after their fathers in that respect - only confiding half a story. I shall have words ....

Keays
Patron saint of reformed outlaws? I would like to think so. Love the disgruntled dog!
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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 23, 2015 9:06 pm

Keays - Great tension building.  Your knowledge of horses really shines in this one and the action is wonderful.  The scenes on the river were breathtaking and I was sure someone was going to come a cropper. The denouement was a perfect Christmas scene.  Loved it.  I am so sorry that I can't put it in for polling.  I can work with a few words over but not more than a thousand over the limit.  Sorry... we'd end up with really long stories otherwise.   No

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Keays

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 23, 2015 10:02 pm

I quite understand.  I went through it, wondering where I could edit it down, but everything needed to be there, so there it is.
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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 23, 2015 10:04 pm

I am sorry.  Really I am.  I loved it.  prisoner You could repost and leave it at a cliffhanger and post the longer one in your thread?????
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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Dec 24, 2015 1:13 pm

cheers  Keays' story has been edited so will now be polling.  I love a happy ending, especially at Christmas!  Christmas Card
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Gringa

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Dec 26, 2015 8:57 am

Keays - So much ice and snow, beautifully described.  The whole chase was very easy to visualise.  I'm so glad they found such a perfect Christmas scene at the end.


Silverkelpie - I remember this one.  It's beautiful and cleverly written, both in the description of the feelings of cold in the beginning, to the way the warmth gathers through the story as a symbolism of the children's futures becoming safer and more secure at the end.  Loved it then and well worth a second reading.
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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Dec 28, 2015 12:04 pm

InsideOutlaw - I'm LOVING the irreverence of the way they treat the body.  Milt was certainly the star of this story, even though he never uttered a word.  The most original escape ever.  Standing ovation from me.

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skykomish

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Dec 29, 2015 1:50 pm

Riders - Lots of fun in this story.  I enjoyed Heyes' plan, and  Kyle was great.  The opening scene and dialogue were charming and funny.  The robbery and escape were very well planned.  Heyes (and Riders) both have a right to be proud. 

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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Dec 29, 2015 2:51 pm

Riders:  I remember this one and love the clever plan Heyes came up with.  Lots of great visuals and lines throughout to keep me chuckling.

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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Dec 29, 2015 2:56 pm

Remuda:  Now this one I don't remember but I certainly enjoyed it.  There's nothing like the stillness after a snowfall, is there?

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“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Dec 29, 2015 3:09 pm

Gringa:  Loved this one!  Women had it so hard in those days with very few options when left on their own.  Your description of the fine distinction between saloon girl and soiled dove was interesting and well-written as was the lack of respect from a former customer.  Nice twist at the end, too.

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“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Dec 29, 2015 3:12 pm

RosieAnnie:  The holidays can be hard even for a former outlaw turned sheriff.  Nice to see that Lom has friends who understand the loneliness and wish to share it with him.

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“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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Gringa

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:03 am

InsideOutlaw - I love the outlaw days stories and this is fantastic.  It has so much humour and originality.  Poor Milt certainly came in useful, and it was very clever of Kyle to think on his feet like that.  A wonderful story.

Storm - Three challenges in one?  I love the idea of Wheat scaring the others into folding at poker, and the idea of him 'Perk-U-L-A-tin’' his own moonshine even more.  I loved the fun of this one. It was a so funny and true to the series.  It would have made a really fun episode and one I would have loved to have seen.
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 30, 2015 4:13 pm

MoulinP:  Your first story and a mystery no less!  Very impressive.  I do hope you continue this in the future.  Your characters are well drawn and you quickly pulled me into the story of the next heneration of Heyes and Curry.  There's so much more to tell here-most of all, what the heck happened to Heyes!!?

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“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 30, 2015 4:34 pm

Keays:  So glad you posted the rest of this story on your stories thread.  Cliffhangers are fun but the whole story is so much better.  You did a great job of putting the reader into the tale.  I swear I was shivering even though I'm sitting in front of a roaring fire.  Having the posse shoot at the ice instead of the outlaws was a clever touch.  Most men in the old west were poor shots despite Hollywood's depictions.  A nice happy ending for Christmas, too.  But April and May?  You don't have a sister, do you? LOL!

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“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 30, 2015 4:45 pm

Silverkelpie:  I didn't remember this one until I was nearly finished and Kyle's sister appeared.  What a timely tale!  I love Manny knowing that the holidays should be shared and celebrated despite religious differences.  Ruth and Aaron were two lucky kids!

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“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 30, 2015 4:53 pm

Storm:  Amazing that you managed to squeeze three prompts into one story and make it all work in a clever, funny way.  The boys making moonshine/sunshine in the Hole is a great concept.  Thanks for the laugh!

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“The purpose of life isn’t to arrive at death in perfect condition but to slide into it sideways with your hair mussed, your clothes disheveled, a martini in one hand and chocolate in the other, shouting ‘Whooeee, what a ride!’”--Hunter S. Thompson
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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 30, 2015 5:54 pm

Storm - Three challenges in one?  Extra points from me for that sight away.  Hilarious tale.  I knew there was going to be a disaster of some kind, and you built it up beautifully.  Thank heavens you saved Heyes' crate of whiskey for New Year.  I'm not going to first foot a dry hideout!

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Keays

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:11 pm

INsideOutlaw; I do, but her name's Melanie.  LOL!
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