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 Applause and Feedback

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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon May 01, 2017 12:04 pm

Pambaze:  Whew, you plunged us right into the action with your first few paragraphs!  This had it all:  great action, humor, and also a warm depiction of our heroes interactions.  Love Heyes lying a gentle hand on the Kid's neck.  Loved it all!

Nebraska Wildfire:  Very moody and reflective piece.  I'd imagine that sort of memory would raise its ugly head at odd times.  Good that Heyes knew that humor could re-direct his partner's brooding.

Silverkelpie:  How did I miss this one the first time around?  I thought I'd read all your stories.  Loved it and loved your penchant for quirky names.  Wolverton Phipps, LOL!  I could just see Heyes and the Kid squirming throughout that uncomfortable conversation at the beginning.  Off to read the rest.

MoulinP:  Poor Heyes, he's still learning how hard it is to parent.  And to have a child how has inherited all your best (or is it worst) traits!  I can easily imagine his confusion and relief when Susan agreed to go along with his plan.

Cal: Another one that starts off with a bang, albeit not a literal bang.  Of course Heyes would hate being bested.  He's the humiliator, not the humiliated.  Can't wait to see what his plan is.

Good stories all, ladies!

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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon May 01, 2017 4:44 pm

InsideOutlaw - What a wonderful tale of practical jokes full of great characterisations and very visual. You come up with wonderful Hannibal Heyes plans and this one was a doozy. The description of Kyle being hauled from the well was spot on too

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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue May 02, 2017 7:53 am

Inside Outlaw - Oh goody a DHG comedy! And for April too.... April fools day anyone.  Felt sorry for Kyle down that well... but enjoyed all the mad tricks.  There was a film I saw once where they got rid of the guards with hornets... then smoked them out to rob the train.... The stink bomb idea seems a much easier solution than that....love it... and very Heyes.  Thanks for more looks at the daft Wheat and Kyle duo too... love that pair of hooty owls. That was a real fun read. 
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RosieAnnieUSA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue May 02, 2017 4:26 pm

April stories -- clapping

PamBaze -- wow, that was thrilling! You threw us into the action right away and never let it flag. Even the scene where they rested was filled with tension. Good stuff!

Nebraska Wildifire: Excellent use of the prompt. My favorite line: "it was past time for him to be off of this Earth." And Heyes answer to Kid, that God will forgive him before the Governor of Wyoming. Well done, NW!
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RosieAnnieUSA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue May 02, 2017 4:46 pm

Silverkelpie: I do remember reading this story before. I enjoy it now as much as I did then. Spiritualism is definitely a good topic for the 1880's. And later, of course.

MoulinP: Susan is a feminist! I like her! And Heyes --- don't be such a fuddy-duddy! But he's living a hundred years ago, isn't he? He has to help his daughter fit into society, whatever that is. It's tough to be a parent!

Cal: Oooh. . . I can't wait to find out what the HH plan is! And this is happening during the outlaw days, so where's the rest of the gang?

Inside Outlaw: Aw, who'd be so mean as to throw poor Kyle in the well? I didn't think practical jokes had any purpose, but you proved me wrong. "Don't get mad; get even" works in more than one situation, I guess.
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gin16



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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun May 21, 2017 7:00 pm

Nebraska Wildfire:  I liked it.  Heyes shouldn't have questioned Kids' eyesight, he is really good with his gun.  Funny how things work out, them showing up when the people needed help with the haying.  Then getting saved because Kid saw the storm coming.  It was good of them to send the money back, it was easier for them go make more money than it was for the people to make more.  They are really good men.

Cal:  Those two!  Heyes comes up with these plans and Kid goes along with them because he trusts him.  I loved, "what are you, TEN"  But Heyes thought they should be his why?  Kid found the man and the boots.  I think that Kid liked hitting Heyes a bit too much.  Looking forward to the rest of the story.

Silverkelpie: Thank you for this Abi story. I have been waiting for it, I have not ever read them before.  I also want to know how Heyes was going to deal with Abi, it sounds like it might be fun.  I would also like to know why she is there.
I enjoyed it a lot.

Distant Drums:  Short and sweet.  Hey, animals have feelings too!


Last edited by gin16 on Wed May 31, 2017 8:28 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon May 22, 2017 5:29 am

NB -

Sorry for the delay in feedback... I read this and loved it, as soon as it was posted... everyone's a bit slow off the mark this month... I was waiting for a few more challenges before writing.
.... haven't posted myself yet either.... ooops! 
Calx


 a large cerulean bowl overhead  - that's an artists eye... I love cerulean blue ... and I'm under that sky. Loving Heyes with the hump (no sniggering...its Brit for 'a little grumpy') and the weather darkening as Kid picks at him... excellent. My eyesight is so awful...I'm always in awe of good eyesight too.... Kid's is legendary (I bet Ben wished his was too lol x) I'm wondering how long they'd have been getting that hay in.... long enough to make an impression on the Johnsons... I'm seeing Hugginesc tableau and music... "T'is a gift to be simple" anyone? ... so like the original series... my favourite time period. I liked the crank up in tension with the cyclone and the reprise of the eyesight banter... the ending just proved what pretty good bad men they are... I nearly wrote 'were' then... silly me! The boys are timeless.
Enjoyed that NB sun 1  ... excellent use of the prompt.
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon May 22, 2017 10:08 pm

Cal:  I'm really enjoying this storyline.  I think the story works well with the gray bits you added to match this prompt.  I thought the references to Kansas and his father were a touching counterpart to the frantic nature of this story.  That said, I really like the the high sense of action and Heyes running amok until the promised plan materializes.


Thanks for the comments on my story.  I live where often on a clear day there is a cerulean bowl overhead.  I didn't think about the parallel to "The Posse that Wouldn't Quit."  I like Simple Gifts ...
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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed May 31, 2017 6:46 pm

Nebraska Wildfire - beautiful descriptions in this one, "The sky was unending, a large cerulean bowl overhead" and "undulating waves of grass, running to the far horizon." What a good job for everyone that they found one another. And they got paid! Pretty good bad men ran into a pretty good family. I did wonder if the quest for amnesty has changed them or if they would always have repaid a kindness.

Cal - The added parts work really well for the prompt. Great imagery in them finding the skeleton and fighting over the boots. I loved it when Kid punched Heyes in the mouth too. It's good to see the boys fighting. Any couple thrown together and going through troubles bicker and I think you caught that really well and injected humour too.    

Distant Drums - You had me for a moment there when he was running his finger over her and down her legs, and then the title made sense. Our filly wasn't a rival for the boys after all. She wanted a wild boy of her own.

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Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
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RosieAnnieUSA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Jun 01, 2017 12:54 pm

Nebraska Wildfire: What a sweet story. It's so nice when things go right for our boys every once in a while. I enjoyed Curry's teasing Heyes about his old age; sounds like the kind of comfortable teasing that they may have been doing most of their lives. Nice ending, too -- our actions change us. They've learned kindness.

Cal:  I like the interplay between our boys. "What are you, ten?" The bit about the coin toss, and Heyes trying to hide his glee () can't spell schnaden-something!). And then acting a bit like ten-year-old's, each trying to make Heyes look beat up.

Silverkelpie: Oh, Abi. I've missed her. Heyes and Curry are masked, but they call Wheat and Kyle by their names? Careless of them!

Distant Drums: All us girls long for the occasional wild stallion, don't we? Though maybe it's better if we don't catch him!
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Distant Drums

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Jun 01, 2017 3:13 pm

Nebraska Wildfire - This was very easy to picture as they made their way across the flat landscape towards the little house. It slightly reminded me of 'The Posse That Wouldn't Quit' in the way the  boys and the family warmed to one another. And just like the episode the boys came back to repay their debt. They really are pretty good bad guys.

Cal- Great story. Somehow it's always satisfying to see Heyes get punched in the mouth, especially when he's totally consumed in a plan. He can be unbearable. A very enjoyable read.

Silverkelpie - Oh, this one has a bit more heat between Abi and Heyes. So she's working undercover again. I'm sure she and Heyes will be embarking on a new adventure. I can't wait to see where this one leads. I didn't read this last time around.

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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Jun 03, 2017 12:17 am

SilverKelpie:  Ah, more Abi!  These stories as so much fun.  The boys are at their outlaw best in this story, efficient, with a sharp edge.  Eagerly awaiting more.


Distant Drums:  With that title, I wasn't quite certain what a to expect.  The first few lines had me wondering, but it was lovely.  So much expressed in so few lines.  
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Jun 07, 2017 7:57 am

Grief - my feedback didn't post again! I'm not using my tablet to post anymore.....grrrrr.... I'll wait till I'm back home on surer ground with my big sit up and beg tower computer.  Well .... to reiterate...

SilverKelpie - It is better to exist unknown to the law: Gaelic Proverb - hadn't heard of that one, but how fitting. I wasn't sure at first if we weren't back when the boys were very young... that gangly youth holding the horses had blue eyes in my head... But no... we're in outlaw jail breaking territory with the fully mature Heyes and Curry.

Loving the reprise of the Abi/Heyes flirtation.  I really enjoyed their first match. Loving the partners with their harder edges and excellent dialogue....   "There ain't much innocent about you, lady.    A particular favourite.

Oh goody...To be continued.... really lovely action packed read. 

Distant Drums - Fifty Shades of Hay....... snigger..... snirt... this could be interesting.  Hang on.... he's working down my legs....????...Oh.... hahahahahahha.... GOOD ONE! Dragging mind back out of gutter....  Well she can lust after her wild boy all she wants.... me... I'm thinking all that brushing must have worked up a sweat....probably had to remove his shirt..... Huuurrrrmmmmm sigh.... wickedly wonderful.
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gin16



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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Jun 12, 2017 5:13 pm

MoulinP:  Loving this story.  The outlaw, the gunslinger, the fastest gun in the west has a soft side.  I always knew that.  Thank you for sharing it with us.  I think they both liked being outlaws for the money, but he didn't like having to use his gun, but knew he had to use it.  Now he doesn't.  That is a good thing.

Keays:  It is always good to read a snippet of your story.  I remember Isabel being on the prowl and the Kids' warning.  Good thing Clem was there didn't take Heyes not wanting to dance seriously, she knew what to do.

Nebraska Wildfire:  What a great story!.  I enjoyed every word of it.  Didn't know who it was until Kid said what he did, that he sent him there.  It didn't matter who he sent, they wouldn't have done it.

Cal:  Interesting story.  I wonder what got Kid to thinking about how much time they had left?  Heyes was right, they had been too busy trying to stay alive to wonder how much time they had left.

Silverkelpie:  Abi is setting them up and hating every minute of it.  I am looking forward to more of the story.


Last edited by gin16 on Sun Jul 02, 2017 2:15 am; edited 4 times in total
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Nell McKeon



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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Jun 14, 2017 9:11 pm

MoulinP - Thanks for a nice challenge story that ties into the Kid's thread story. Kid has a lot of paradoxes in his personality such as the soft romantic vs the hardened gunslinger. I hope you continue that thread and it's revealing that Kid and Caroline are both avoiding a conversation about their true feelings to avoid potential heartbreak but others see the inevitable outcome.
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Jun 16, 2017 7:24 pm

MoulinP:  Such a sweet story.  It really fits the Kid's character that he'd want to do this for his wife, and want his marriage to to be more fulfilling.  I was expecting him to get caught by his wife at the lessons, but I'm glad the story didn't go that way.


Keays:  Another sweet story, a great scene from your saga.  It had Isabelle being Isabelle, and thank goodness Clementine being Clementine, to help Heyes open back to his own self.  And Jed there as always.
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Jun 28, 2017 8:14 pm

Cal:  Such a lovely story with the interplay between the boys. I liked "especially since they’d decided to do something as stupid as work for a living."  Heyes tried to control the direction of the conversation until at the end it controls him. 
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Jun 29, 2017 10:38 am

Didn't think I'd be joining in this month... Then a small bunny hopped... Reminded me to get to the feed back ...

MoulinP ... Feeling smug... because I know where this fits... TICK... Kid feeling insecure about dancing??? Well who would have thought it after those moves he busted on the AS&J set.  lol! Think you've got Kid's laconic voice to a tee.  I'm liking the lessons. "Put your arms around me"....Oh yes. I think you describe this like a driving test.... pulling out into traffic... excellent. Could see the scenes playing out. A very enjoyable read.


Keays ... There's something disturbing about a fragile Heyes... I know where he's been and can understand it... but I have my "Don't hurt him any more" radar turned up to full.  (I know.... I'm a woos) “Yes, I know what you were just!  I could see it from way over there!”  Then she glanced down at the rather surprised Miranda.  “You just sit tight.  I'll bring him right back—I promise!”  I can just see Clem doing that and you've got her voice just right. Thank you for the grin.... I needed that... so a silent thank you from me too.

NBW ... OOO straight into the middle of the action... woop woop...ahhh “I think I’d dance with the devil himself, if we could find some place to hole up.” Good use of the prompt.  Do I detect magical realism NB... love it... Brimstone?  That'd do it. I'm agreeing with Kid....they are the pretty good bad guys... plenty worse than them... ( hehe I'm getting parallels with what I wrote about.... great minds!)
AW... loving this encounter with .... destiny... excellent story telling. Our boys done good... and Jesus brought breakfast... he must have heard about Kid's appetite.  My favourite bit of this is the debrief between the partners. And... Ready? Always! is a fab tag.
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Jul 01, 2017 5:03 pm

Silverkelpie:  I was delighted to see another Abi story!  It pulled me in, just as Abi did Heyes.  I didn't guess the twist at the end.  How do the boys come out of this one?


Distant Drums:  I really like the lyrical cadence of this one.  The boys' quest for amnesty is succinctly detailed.  Very touching.
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Distant Drums

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Jul 01, 2017 5:32 pm

MoulinP - I loved all the dancing scenes and the way you caught the Kid's embarrassment and awkwardness. The relationship between him and his wife is captured in the last line perfectly. They really do need to have their heads knocked together.

Keays - Isabelle is so perfectly annoying. A wonderful example of a baddie without being a complete villain. Clem couldn't be more opposite and just what Heyes needed. Loved it.

Nebraska Wildfire -  Oooh sinister and mysterious. I like it. Who was that stranger and did he decide to go off with the posse instead of the boys? Who knows. All we know is that the bad men were too good to get taken in. Great story.

Cal - Another sleepless night and an illuminating conversation tells us so much about the boys. So we know the Kid's purpose, but what is Heyes'? I look forward to another story telling us what he comes up with.

Silverkelpie - Ooh, is Abi setting them up? Don't do it, Abi! They'll never forgive you and if you harm one and let the other away, it'll turn to revenge. I can't wait to see where this goes.

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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Jul 02, 2017 11:10 am

MoulinP - There's more than one dance? Hahaha. This is sweet and funny all at the same time and keeps the Kid right in character all the way through.

Keays - I wondered if you'd use this scene as it's just so perfect for the prompt. It's such a great example of the story and thank heavens for Clem and Jed for being there. 

Nebraska Wildfire -  A good old fashioned morality tale or just a random stranger? Who cares when it's all wrapped up in good storytelling and mystery. I loved the last few lines in particular. It was only a dance after all.

Cal - I like the idea of dancing with your blankets. I do that every night. Now I have a name for it. This story is deeper than it appears at first glance with the conversation revealing more and more about who they really are, who they wanted to be, and setting that against what they are at that time. Very clever.
 
Distant Drums - Our resident poet has been dancing with the devil? Luckily the boys decided to turn away from him and look for amnesty.

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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Jul 02, 2017 11:19 am

And  starting July - 

Cal - What can I utter about the utter genius of the story you uttered so quickly on the topic of 'Utter'?  Hilarious. Utter brilliance. Utterly marvellous sheer utter madness of the best kind!   lol! jump face

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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Jul 02, 2017 2:15 pm

Thanks SK... I'm still on Dancing feedback...  Oh.... and I should have mentioned... InsideOutlaw was in RosieAnnie's kitchen... helping Kid with the nibbles... but then, of course, you know that....you were there... playing the bagpipes...



Dancing continued...

SilverKelpie - Part two! Cool - A triste in the summerhouse... loving how cautious outlaw Heyes is... and Kid's 'around'... lol.... All the tales of noble deeds getting back to Authorities....It must have been very confusing for them...Oh ... Heyes has played detective too... excellent...“Handsome? You silver-tongued devil,” he lit up with delight.... Yes that's easy to see as his reaction. I like the rebuke about her behaviour... fits his character..I don't want you calling just anyone mister. ....I think you've got great material here ... they spark off each other.  OK... I'm not buying a double cross... I'm holding out for a nobler cause in Abi.... with fingers and toes crossed! Good episode...More...More...

Distant Drums
Another fine poem  
The light that shines in heaven,
That darkness hid from me
That's their whole back story ...in eleven words then... 
I like the idea of dropping hands... that could mean so much of their life...including the gambling... 
I'm seeing that walk up to Lom's office window in the Pilot... 
Excellent job
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gin16



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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Jul 02, 2017 6:24 pm

Cal:  I utterly loved this story.  I would take a nibble from Kid any day of the week, morning, noon or evening.

Nebraska Wildfire:  Of course she would remember them, him. He was taking care of damsels in distress even then. It was nice that they had this break, work, good company and more important, good food.  I am glad that Sam understood.  I enjoyed it a bunch.


Last edited by gin16 on Tue Jul 18, 2017 7:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Utterly fabulous    Mon Jul 03, 2017 1:07 am

Cal:  Such an utterly fun way to start off the month.  I had the best time trying not to break out in laughter, as I just wouldn't be able to explain it to my family.  And any story that has me with Heyes ...well, I definitely can't complain about that.  :)
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