Alias Smith and Jones Fun and Fanfiction
Alias Smith and Jones Fun and Fanfiction

A site for all kinds of fun for fans of Alias Smith and Jones
 
HomeHome  PortalPortal  CalendarCalendar  UsergroupsUsergroups  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 Applause and Feedback

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : Previous  1 ... 12 ... 20, 21, 22, 23  Next
AuthorMessage
gin16



Posts : 66
Join date : 2014-08-12

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Mar 15, 2017 7:23 pm

rosieannieUSA:  A lot was going on that evening.  I wonder if Heyes enjoyed his evening verbally sparring with Blanche as Kid had with Michelle, it seemed so.  Liked it a bunch.

Cal:  They sure put Grant & Gaines thru the wringer that day, with more to come in the evening. a great plan thought up on the fly.

Nebraska Wildlife: Poor Heyes, he is hurting and doesn't want to talk about it.  Kid keeps trying to get him to talk, just keeps nudging him gently.  Finally, Heyes gives a little when he says " we just got to have faith"  a small step in the right direction.

Keays:  I liked this missing scene.  Kid had to get Heyes to safety and making sure there was no further damage to him, leaving him seemed the best way, how scary for him.  Even Heyes' horse had a good part in the story, he was scared too.

Silverkelpie:  A good missing scene.  Heyes wanting to protect Kid and Kid not really understanding that until Heyes tells him that he almost died from a beating given him by Burdons' men.  It was a good thing that Heyes kept talking and Kid listened to him.  Then hearing a threat. when it looked like there was trouble, we slipped right back into our old ways, I am glad that they did.

Helenwest:  Another good tale.  I liked that they stuck with the job and finished it.  Mr. Taylor was good to them, giving them that little bit extra and that they could enjoy each others company.  And of course the "old man" bit with Kid teasing Heyes.


Last edited by gin16 on Sun Apr 02, 2017 2:05 am; edited 3 times in total
Back to top Go down
RosieAnnieUSA

avatar

Posts : 357
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 98
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:45 pm

Cal: I thought it was Grant and Gaines! I love me a Hannibal Heyes plan, and this one was a beaut. My favorite lines: "I never got me an invitation to dinner after a wrongful arrest."  "You've never had a wrongful arrest," stated Heyes flatly.

Nebraska Wildfire:  Even a genius has his low moments. Heyes is incredibly lucky to have such support from Kid. The Jello Toad bit is hilarious, as is the byplay about the window. I can so see that conversation happening in the series, word for word.
Back to top Go down
http://www.lunartidemassageandangeltherapy.com
HannaHeyes

avatar

Posts : 1180
Join date : 2013-08-27
Age : 41
Location : The Hideout

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:18 am

I'm trying to finish up February. I've gotten so far behind in reading and comments, but I'm going to try to catch up. This last month and a half has been extremely chaotic around my place, (and is still ongoing, but I'll not get into all that), and I've only spent short times online, only getting a longer session every so often. But anyway, this isn't the place for that, so on to the belated February stories...

RosieAnnie - I love your 'In Winter' story and am always glad to be reminded of earlier parts. I so enjoy Thaddeus being interviewed by the two college students. I'm eagerly awaiting to see if his family learns the truth about him,...and what's happened to Heyes.

MoulinP - I could easily see Heyes being so involved with learning about something new that the rest of the world was oblivious. He better appreciate a wife that can put up with that!

Gringa - I remember this one. Kid getting bit by a kid, I love it! At least Kid gave him a good lesson about it. And the ending is wonderful!

Nebraska Wildfire - Love seeing you post your first story! Congratulations! The conversation between the boys rang true to character. This was very well written. Hope to see more from you!

Skykomish - I had a feeling I knew who the extravagant easterner was. He sure enjoyed his 'authentic' experience. I would've been tempted to choke him had I been one of the boys. At least they got something extra in their pay.

Helen West - Loved this little side story inspired by your longer piece. And loved that Karen traveled with her dear kitty. I'd take mine everywhere if she liked to ride. Anyway, that's one paranormal encounter I wouldn't mind ;) I tried to envision your pictures you shared of Louisville, Colorado while reading this. No wonder this won!

_________________
Come to the dark side...we have cookies Very Happy 
Back to top Go down
HannaHeyes

avatar

Posts : 1180
Join date : 2013-08-27
Age : 41
Location : The Hideout

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:27 am

By the way, Cal, I looked up your painting of the northern lights. It's beautiful! I loved it! Also, if anyone is interested, the website http://www.spaceweather.com has a global map daily showing where the lights are able to be seen. I had the pleasure of seeing them in 2004. I also remember the next day at the tv station where I worked, that a few crazy people called in saying we were being attacked because they saw bombs going off the previous night...Rolling Eyes

_________________
Come to the dark side...we have cookies Very Happy 
Back to top Go down
Cal

avatar

Posts : 280
Join date : 2016-10-21

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Mar 22, 2017 3:04 pm

Nebraska Wildfire - I don't think you said exactly when this was but the Boston reference makes me think of Julia (what a lovely name...lol) and TMWMH.  Am I right. Heyes did say he was afraid she just might be someone that could change his mind about crossing the Mississippi and heading for Boston. The Kid had been trying to get him to talk... Yes, that's a sure sign something is wrong with the genius. Love this observation too..Only with the Kid did Heyes ever really open up.  Only with Curry did he allow himself to care... that wrings true to me. Aw the bit of remembering their boyhood is great, just what was needed...love the JT too. we’re a bit low on funds oh.. I'm probably wrong then... Kid got $200 for delivering mine supplies....doh!I got enough left over from the game with the Doc .... I'm being really dumb here.. I'm enjoying it but I want to no where it fits...OK definitely not Julia then ...but ...It was best for her to go back to Boston... someone put me out of my misery...who is she? ...one washed up outlaw, a piece....that made me laugh, so Kid.
NBW... I loved reading it, could see it all playing out.  I thought you captured Heyes' moody side perfectly... but I can't place it...HELP
Back to top Go down
skykomish

avatar

Posts : 181
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 59

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Mar 22, 2017 10:35 pm

Could it be the school teacher in the season 3 episode "The Ten Days that Shook Kid Curry"?

_________________
When you put your hand in a flowing stream, you touch the last that has gone before and the first of what is still to come.
- Leonardo DaVinci
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 51
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : East of the Mississippi

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Mar 23, 2017 1:18 am

Cal:  I started my story this month as a follow on to the ending scenes of a specific episode (and yes, skykomish, it was "The Ten Days...") but it morphed as I wrote it, from the specific instance to the more general of their situation.  It spoke to me of Heyes' feeling of all the people they had lost and opportunities they had slip through their fingers, because of the life choices they had made.  It drove home again why they were still trying for the amnesty.  I had left a couple specific references to the episode in the story, but refrained from adding a couple more that I had planned, like Amy's name, so that it could be read in the specific instance or the general.
When the month's prompt had been posted, I initially drew a blank, and had decided that I would just enjoy all your lovely storied this month, and wait to write another time.  Then this idea came to me.  I wasn't certain I was going to post it, but it wanted written, so I did.  I knew not everyone would be so familiar with this episode, but when it took the general turn, I thought I would post it after all, hoping it still fit the prompt.  As I reviewed it, Heyes' voice still rang true to me, so I put it out to see if others felt the same.  And as much of a devoted Heyes fan as I have been for the past 46 years, I've been having the most wonderful time writing lines for the Kid.  
Back to top Go down
Cal

avatar

Posts : 280
Join date : 2016-10-21

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Mar 23, 2017 4:20 am

Amy!!!! Thanks for clearing that up NBW.... I know what you mean about it having to be wrote...... I often think.... Not this time ... Then a niggle starts and it's got to be written down and posted..... Long may those niggles continue!
Back to top Go down
Silverkelpie

avatar

Posts : 1374
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 56
Location : Over the rainbow

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Mar 24, 2017 8:35 pm

RosieAnnie - What a great missing scene, and full of wonderful dialogue.  You really have a way of bringing in unspoken feelings into your writing.  That's so hard to do and a wonderful talent.  Superb!

Cal - I love the machinations in this one.  All the comings and goings are a bit like a farce, and that's a compliment because a good farce is choreographed tightly and planned to the second.  The boys are spot on in their characterisations and skills too.  I loved it.

Nebraska Wildfire - so many good lines in this one, but I also had to wonder who this lady was.  Thank goodness for the comments section.  Not being one who watched after the change of 'Heyeses', I'm still none the wiser, but I can appreciate this beautiful angsty story and the way you capture moods so beautifully.  I adore the phrase, "a lot of Heyes was still that shattered child".

Keays - A very dramatic and angsty missing scene, and like most of them it never even occurred to me to think about the practicalities of that scene until someone writes it.  Of course the Kid would agonise over getting Heyes to safety once he had been shot in the head and you capture the panic mixed with logic of the man perfectly.  A great missing scene which blended action and pathos perfectly.

_________________
Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 51
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : East of the Mississippi

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Mar 25, 2017 8:32 pm

Keays:  I also never thought about the logistics of how they got Heyes back to the house. This is a wonderful scene with the Kid's worry and confusion, but not indecision. He's a man of action, as we know and he gets done what he needs to get done. I like the way it very much shows the Kid's panic, while he keeps moving to find a solution.  Great characterization.
Silverkelpie:  I love the idea of this as a missing scene. We all want to know this back story. It's very tension filled, with not much overt action.  Yes, they just belong together.
Back to top Go down
Silverkelpie

avatar

Posts : 1374
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 56
Location : Over the rainbow

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Apr 01, 2017 12:03 pm

Helen West - this is a perfect tale show the hard work and ultimate rewards of going straight.  You painted a wonderful picture in words of the toil and trouble of that backbreaking job, especially the natural urge to throw it all in when it gets too hard.  Eventually they get paid, but the real reward is the regard and good opinion of the old man.  I loved it.

_________________
Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 51
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : East of the Mississippi

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Apr 03, 2017 12:20 am

Helen West: I loved the spirit of this story. The boys are trying to figure out if they can play it straight enough to get amnesty, but they don't think twice about going back because they were overpaid just a dollar or two. Maybe they are more honest than they think? Two pretty good bad men after all...
Back to top Go down
RosieAnnieUSA

avatar

Posts : 357
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 98
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Apr 03, 2017 12:59 pm

Keays: Good choice for a missing scene. I love how you your understanding of horses makes them characters in your stories.
Back to top Go down
http://www.lunartidemassageandangeltherapy.com
RosieAnnieUSA

avatar

Posts : 357
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 98
Location : Chicago, Illinois, USA

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Apr 03, 2017 1:12 pm

Silverkelpie: That whole bit about jumping out the window was hilarious. And the way you describe Preacher's reaction to Heyes conveys some disregard. Good writing there -- you only needed a couple sentences to convey a lot.

Helen West: You conveyed the tension between the two men really well. A lot of terrific dialogue between our boys. Their honesty about being overpaid is a small thing in the world, but it was a huge insight into character for them. Wonderful story.
Back to top Go down
http://www.lunartidemassageandangeltherapy.com
Cal

avatar

Posts : 280
Join date : 2016-10-21

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Apr 07, 2017 1:10 pm

 I can't believe I've taken this long to give feedback this month... got to get back into writing when I first read...of course I read these as they were posted... just had to find time to catch up again....here goes.

Keays - - Like many I hadn't considered how Kid would deal with this situation ....I've watched it so many times and Heyes just magically appears in a bed being tended by a doctor... Good catch!
And I really like your scene... Kid would feel awful about leaving Heyes out there with a proven killer on the loose... I felt bad enough for the poor horse... great tension in the prose. I like the way Jake takes charge like a father figure I think he sees himself as later in the episode... was Bud the shooter?... gotta go back and check now...isn't that the real test of a missing scene...Makes you want to go back and check out a much loved episode for details again.... I like that you have Kid say... he's going after the killer... sets up the next scene so well... I really enjoyed this. well done.

I'm getting the hang of this... whole pieces of backstory being 'missing' from the series... like the reunion after the split....

Silverkelpie “Jed’s dead and gone..." - wow that hit between the eyes, he's so suspicious... rings true though for a lone gunslinger.... poor Kid. Is a five year gap the group thinking...that's a long time to grow apart...this is throwing up all sorts of foreboding for me.  Ah...I recognise this now...I know where this fits.... Now I'm happy...they're getting back together at last.  "Conversation’s over"... that's one big grudge Kid's been nursing...his empty glass, his empty life... another great line.  I love the way you bring in Jim Plumber stealing the money and Kid's trip to Philadelphia ...makes such sense. And Cancer being the final thing that gets Burden... glad you lightened the mood with the shenanigans at the endand Kid's mum's sharp shooting with the apple... excellent piece this, I'm no good at the dark and gritty stuff myself... but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate great story telling.
Back to top Go down
Keays

avatar

Posts : 1431
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 60
Location : Camano Island Washington

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Apr 08, 2017 1:18 am

Cal; You got me thinking about the name of the character who did the shooting. It's not Bud, but Harvey! This is what I get for not checking details before writing. It has been corrected. Thanks for mentioning it.
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 51
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : East of the Mississippi

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Apr 12, 2017 11:54 pm

pambaze:  I liked the way you included both aspects of the boys' relationship into your story, both the honest caring and the endless banter.  The Kid offered to stand watch for the exhausted Heyes, and Heyes didn't blame the Kid for falling asleep.  And as much as Heyes bothered the Kid about the fly, I think the Kid got the "last laugh" in the end.
Back to top Go down
gin16



Posts : 66
Join date : 2014-08-12

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Apr 13, 2017 6:19 pm

Pambaze:  Heyes has an ornery streak when it comes to teasing Kid.  Maybe the snipe flies were female and that is why they were after the Kid.  Had the posse wondering about Kids' shooting abilities, first he wasn't as good as they heard, then thought he was a great shot when the hornets nest came down on them.  I liked it a lot.

Nebraska Wildfire:  Sorry I posted in the wrong place.  Interesting story, how things like the wind can trigger memories, of Grandpa Currys' stores and Danny Bilson.  I don't feel that Kid killed him on purpose.  They did hunt him down, but were leaving town, Kid was forced to shoot to kill.  Kid still fees uneasy about it but not angry anymore and maybe concerned about what may still be to come.  Heyes still seems angry, maybe he feels guilty too at his part in it.

MoulinP:  Poor Heyes, the perils of being a father.  At least in charge of the gang, THEY listened to him. Along with some of the other stories in this series, Heyes will probably be sorry that he didn't let Susan wear pants, it would have been easier.  Poor Kid, still getting woke up in the middle of the night to listen to Heyes talk.  Loved it.

Cal:  You are right, that is a cliffhanger.  I liked it.  Jamerson is in for a world of hurt, how dare he laugh at them.

SK:  I remembered this one and I liked it.  A good plan, Kid had the better job this time, talking to a young lady, what a chore.

InsideOutlaw:  A fun read.  I liked watching as Heyes struggled to come up with a plan.  The gang never should have picked Heyes for one of their pranks when he was planning a job, they must have been bored.  How did he come up with a stink bomb.  I bet Wheat was thinking all kinds of things when Heyes and Kid took their time getting back to the Hole.


Last edited by gin16 on Tue May 02, 2017 4:27 pm; edited 5 times in total
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 51
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : East of the Mississippi

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Apr 17, 2017 1:10 am

SilverKelpie:  As always, your story had a fantastic plot, great characterization, and was a delight to read. Of course I had to read the rest of the story, and of course it had a twist. The historical details always add so much to the story.


@gin16:  Thanks for your comments. Yes, the "on purpose" line might be a bit strong, but that aspect of the episode is debatable, isn't it, just as is Heyes' part.  My story was one that wrote itself, so maybe I need to revisit it later and see if it needs changes.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Thanks again.
Back to top Go down
Cal

avatar

Posts : 280
Join date : 2016-10-21

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Apr 18, 2017 12:45 pm

Last Laugh...

Pambaze - Oh dear ...another determined posse chase... I mean for them...not me reading it... I love action... this will be right up my alley. Aw ...not surprised Kid fell asleep after all that...Oh my... I can see them lieing there trying to stay hidden.  As someone who gets bitten by... everything.. I can;t tell you how much sympathy is going out to the blond one right now... and Heyes has it spotted... ouch. I like this line..  “If you’re not gonna help, just shut up.”... made me smile in what is quite a tense piece. Noooo... not another one... I'm starting to get jittery along with Kid now... Woah... good crank up of the tension Pambaze and loved the tricky shooting ...not.. Oh well I'd have taken credit wouldn't you... very good last laugh... thank goodness.  Enjoyed that.


Nebraska Wildfire - Lovely narrative style to this... I'm enjoying your imagery. I hope Heyes' pork is better than his coffee. Love the domesticity of the camp and the gentle banter... Woah... that's deep from the Kid.....oh good pick up NB ...Or that last laugh.... I watched Smiler the other day and the last laugh is creepy! What the heck is coming out of your head tonight, Kid?”... haha I'm with you Heyes... but this is so in character for the people's philosopher. Liked that NB ... a thoughtful one.
Back to top Go down
Cal

avatar

Posts : 280
Join date : 2016-10-21

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Apr 18, 2017 12:56 pm

SilverKelpie - Ah... way ahead of you on this one... Read it and loved it as part of VS.  So... leaving us up in the air like that isn't going to work on me... I got all the answers... As eventually do our ghostbusting twosome.  I saw John Candy in the loud suit... can't remember if that was you original casting.... OK ... you got me ....going to have to go check now.   This made a terrific episode and more than that ...the story was very memorable.  I'm going to fess up now... I come from a very long line of psychics and mediums... so... this one had me worried for a while when I originally read it.  FTR... my family have raised an awful lot of money for local charities over the years but have never charged a penny for readings... ever.... and never would. So we're not all crooks lolx flower
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 51
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : East of the Mississippi

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Apr 23, 2017 8:14 pm

MoulinP:  I love this series of stories. In the everyday, you show Heyes' personality so well, that mind that never rests. The Kid comes out so well also, griping about being woken up, but then asking what he can do, just used to a Heyes after all the years. I also like the resolution. Being a parent who has had to let my children go off to better opportunities, my eyes have glistened with tears too.
Back to top Go down
Cal

avatar

Posts : 280
Join date : 2016-10-21

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:10 pm

MoulinP...

I think this fits the prompt really well. 
 
I'll confess I have difficulty with some series when the story has been taken on to marriages and families etc.  Not because I think they're not valid or anything like that ...its just that sometimes, the original characters that I love are hard to find under all the new circumstances.  You seem to transcend this problem with your writing....Kid and Heyes are right there... just dealing with families and jobs instead of sheriffs and posses. I'm not sure how you're doing it...but keep on doing it.  Susan is a joy.  And I love the little glimpses of the older Heyes ...mentions of peering over his glasses... really enjoying your work... and this made a good challenge entry on its own too.
Back to top Go down
Silverkelpie

avatar

Posts : 1374
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 56
Location : Over the rainbow

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:57 am

Pambaze - Poor Kid keeps getting bitten, and that makes sense. I read somewhere it's the females insects who do the most biting. This didn't go the way I thought it would. I thought it'd be funny but you ratchet up the tension beautifully, and then give us a humourous ending to give it another twist. Very clever and very original.

Nebraska Wildfire - A dark and angsty take on the prompt. It makes sense that a man like the Kid would dwell on a killing at times and wonder if killing meant he was the same as Danny Bilson. Of course Heyes is right.  The last laugh goes to him and his observations of heaven and hell.

MoulinP - I love this line, “You shouldn’t have given them to me if you didn’t want me to use ‘em!”. It was easier to run an outlaw gang than to raise a family, that's for sure.  Susan certainly gives her father the runaround, and you capture the complex relationship between fathers and daughters so well. I somehow suspect that the very last laugh will be further down the line in this universe.

Cal - First off, fab title. Heyes has a plan. Always love a Hannibal Heyes plan. What a cunning plan to have a horse on a train to pursue them. What!? You can't leave it there. What's the plan? What a cliffhanger.

_________________
Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 51
Join date : 2016-12-10
Location : East of the Mississippi

PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Apr 26, 2017 2:04 pm

Cal:  You managed to squeeze a great plot and great characterization in your story but decided to leave us there?  You did warn us so I can't complain too much. I just would like to see more.  I loved the lines
"Kid Kid I got a plan.  Kid's shoulders dropped. Kid's head dropped." So much of their relationship in those few words.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   

Back to top Go down
 
Applause and Feedback
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 21 of 23Go to page : Previous  1 ... 12 ... 20, 21, 22, 23  Next
 Similar topics
-
» Negative feedback
» MKIII VTA help with negative feedback.
» Altering the feedback line on a VTA boarded ST-70/ST-120 amp
» Query Letter Feedback
» Steam Traction World Updates

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Alias Smith and Jones Fun and Fanfiction  :: Writer's Area - Please email Admin to get your own thread for your stories. Use a new thread for each story. Please comment after the story. :: Challenge Stories :: Applause and Feedback-
Jump to: