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 Applause and Feedback

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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Feb 28, 2017 5:26 pm

Moulinp - Oh, I love the gadgets of the era so you know I love this one.  I also love the job you gave Heyes.  I don't think anyone else put him a newspaper, but I could see him doing it.  I loved the antics of him learning to type until he was distracted by the big news.  I do enjoy this universe.


Gringa - I remember this one well.  It's both funny and poignant at the same time and it even inspired a spin-off by someone else, as I remember.  It's one of my all time favourites

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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Feb 28, 2017 11:22 pm

RosieAnnieUSA:  This is one of my favorite stories, and such a great scene from it. The college boys are all excited about stories of the West, and the Kid isn't having it, since he lived it.
MoulinP:  Very typical of Heyes to be so engrossed in something new.  Obviously his wife can deal with him well. 
Gringa:  Such a touching piece, so telling of the Kid's personality.
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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Mar 01, 2017 10:47 am

Nebraska Wildfire - Congratulations on posting your first story and it's a lovely thoughtful piece with beautiful descriptive language.  I love the way you write the Kid too.  He's as smart as Heyes, but just thinks in a different way.  That always makes them very believable partners.

Skykomish - You bounce right into this one with wonderful descriptive language and sparkling dialogue.  The original character just jumps right off the page and the historical details, as always from you.  I loved it. 

Helen West - I could see the Kid becoming a lawman.  He'd be an excellent one.  I wasn't expecting all the supernatural shenanigans, but I love being surprised.  A wonderful blend of great storytelling and real life history with great characters.  I loved it.

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Na sir 's na seachainn an cath - Neither seek nor shun the fight      Old Scottish proverb
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RosieAnnieUSA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:39 pm

Remuda:  What a sad memory! So much loss for Heyes. And goodbye, Harry -- don't let the door hit you in the you-know-what on your way out.

Cal:  I sure hope you find the rest of this story, or continue with it. I'm intrigued!

Silverkelpie: I love your mysteries. I'm not good at figuring out who dunnit, so I will have to cheerfully read the whole story again.
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RosieAnnieUSA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:51 pm

Hanna Heyes: What a wonderful memory of a special event with their families! "It ain't breaking the law until you get caught." Oh boy, Heyes, we know where that philosophy will lead you. And he's already picking the locks? Sheesh! That kid is a little too precocious.

Moulin P:  I'm loving every minute of this series. I can absolutely envision Heyes working out how to use a typewriter. . . to type Hannibal Heyes stories? Holy smokes! I hope his intimate knowledge of that outlaw doesn't bring suspicion on him at some point.

Gringa: Clever! I've seen that old clip of "I've Got a Secret", too.

Nebraska Wildfire:  Really? That's your first story? You have a sure hand with dialogue. I'm one of those who take fact for inspiration, and sometimes I turn them into alternate facts. Poetic license and all, right? You probably don't want a posse armed with M-16's, but hey, make them work to fit your reality.
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RosieAnnieUSA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Mar 01, 2017 1:13 pm

Skykomish:  Best descriptor line ever -- "he resembled a decorated mushroom." And being chased by a wounded buffalo was "invigorating." Yeah, that is one way to describe it. I love your writing.

Helen West:  What a fun story! Using this new teaching fellow as a current guide to the past is a clever device. And, personally, I love that she is travelling with her cat.
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Gringa

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Mar 01, 2017 1:17 pm

Remuda - I love a poignant story and you get it just right in this one, not too soppy, just the right amount of humour, and a lovely referrence to the series in the 'champeen tracker of all Southern Utah.  I loved it.

Cal - I loved this little girl and the way you introduced her to us, trickily misleading us into thinking it was a young Heyes.  This stayed with me wondering who she'd grow up to be. 

Silverkelpie -  I remember this one.  The mystery looks like it's going to be very involved but it's solved almost right away.  Very clever to make the solution the conflict in this story, and wouldn't we all love one of those rats under the bed?

HannaHeyes - I've never seen the Northern lights, but this lovely story makes me want to make sure that I do.  You describe it so beautifully.  I too hope that our loved ones are looking at us from the other side of the beautiful skies in all their shades.

RosieAnnie = Another very beautiful excerpt from your series and it fits the prompt beautifully.  There is such a gentle melancholy in the whole story; of times gone never to be repeated slotted among the everyday life the Kid has built for himself.  Judging by the way he describes the shootout he doesn't look back with rose coloured glasses, but there is a poignancy in the way he shields so much while sharing the truth. 
       
Moulinp - What a perfect fit for the prompt, and I loved the vision of Heyes struggling with the keys.  I bet it would be hard for even a genuis like Heyes to pick up.  No wonder he was distracted from the machine with news like that!
   
Nebraska Wildfire
- A pensive Heyes thinks of the future hopefully and a clever Kid knows just what to say to him.  It's a pretty great solution too.  He'd make a  great lawyer.

Skykomish - You always give us such wonderful perspectives and this is no exception.  I think I've seen this before, and guessed who the man was right away.  The way you write him, I'd love to have met him.  What a character!
     
Helen West - Oh, a ghost story?  How wonderful and you mix real history with outlaw japes so well.  I loved the mystery of the missing book and main lady character.  A great story.
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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:51 pm

Remuda-
Now there's a story that needed to be told. And you made it well worth reading. The dialog is tight, I love getting to see Harry with the Devil's Hole Gang. And then you bring the historic past vividly to life. Great story! It would have done for March, too.
HW
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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:57 pm

Cal -  Wow, cool story! I LOVE the way you bring in real conditions and ideas of the time. Seeing the boys from outside that way is fascinating - you really bring us into the narrator's head. It is more than a little frightening to thing of what influence Heyes and the Kid could have on impressionable minds. Like ours . . . 
HW
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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Mar 04, 2017 10:06 pm

Silverkelpie- What a taut tale! The plot is exciting and the characters are vivid despite the short form. I surely do want to know more.
HW
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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Mar 04, 2017 10:13 pm

RosieAnnie-
You know I love this story. The characters are so strong. Nothing violent needs to happen in the present day for it to be riveting. "Jones" is feeling his way, trying to figure out how not to reveal too much, even after all these years. Yet he says more than one might think he would. That comes out in the series. He likes to tell a good tale, and here his family gets to hear it. Wonderful!
HW
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:55 pm

Skykomish:  I loved the energy and high spiritedness of this story.i so reflected Ted's character. He is an interesting historical character.
Helen West:  The combination of present day, ghost stories, and the boys into real history made this story unique and fun.
RosieAnnieUSA:  Way to get a jump on March.  With the way you wrote this piece, it definitely fits into the episode.  Perfect characterization of Blanche.
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Mar 06, 2017 7:32 pm

Remuda:  I read this one a long time ago and was happy you re-posted it.  Loved Heyes being at Promontory Point and the explanation for his Champeen Tracker moniker.

Cal:  That kid certainly was precocious!  No matter, she was obviously also a bright outgoing girl who noticed everything going on around her.  Loved her finding Heyes her new teacher.

Silverkelpie:  Loved the classic murder mystery scene with the rounded-up suspects.

HannaHeyes:  Nicely done weaving the Northern Lights from the present to the past.  Some memories come upon us at the strangest times.

RosieAnnie:  This certainly did fit the prompt.  I'm enjoying your In Winter tale.  It's rare that we get a glimpse of their lives as elderly men.  It's bittersweet to see that Thaddeus is still hiding his past life.

MoulinP:  LOL, I could just picture Heyes so totally engrossed in his new typewriter that he completely misses Mary's momentous news.

Gringa:  I love this story.  The small boy with the guts to take on Kid Curry and then how you pull us forward to him at the end of his life.

Nebraska Wildfire:  Your first story and it's so good.  The imagery at the beginning was beautiful and put me right into the story as though I was sitting by the fire listening to the two old friends discuss their futures.  Nicely done!

Skyomish:  This was a good, entertaining story!  I had a feeling at the beginning that I knew that mail-order cowboy.  Your descriptions were great and the dialogue sparkled throughout.  Loved the notes at the end, too.

Helen West:  Clever take on the prompt: using your own epic as the history within a modern day tale.  Well done.

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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:02 pm

Hanna Heyes - what can I say but  that is beautiful? In lots of ways. It's very touching. The older you get and the tragedy you know, the more susceptible you are to being moved in this way, as would be true of the boys.

I saw the aurora once, in Canada,  the night my brother and his Canadian bride were married. It was the wrong time of year, but there it was. They had left to go, finally, have their wedding night together. They came back to the reception, well after midnight, and made sure their USA and Japanese friends all saw the show. I would rather not say why that is as sad as it is. And my best friend researched that same great 159 event, having to do with a painting. Have a look at this: http://americanart.si.edu/collections/search/artwork/?id=4806 Be sue to read the Research Notes, written by my best friend. If you love science, you'll love it.
HW
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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:07 pm

MoulinP - Oh, my,  what a lot of fun! Sometimes adults, or men, or both, are so sure they know what's important. Especially when machines are involved. It's fun to see them proven wrong! I have a feeling either way, he'd be happy.
HW
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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:11 pm

Gringa - What a cool tale! And a great match for the challenge. Sometimes, I think outlaws need some biting. It is amazing the way the stories take us so vividly back in time - twice.
HW
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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:14 pm

Nebraska Wildfire - Wow, that's a great first story! You have the most important thing - the characters are the boys we love. And the premise is great, too. Maybe, just maybe, they will put down roots in a real place and real some real lives. Makes you kind of wonder . . . HW
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HelenWest

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:21 pm

Skykomish- Bully for you! I recognized the premise at once, I must say, because I had wanted to write it myself. I read a biography of young Teddy Roosevelt and thought it was a perfect story for the boys to be part of. You really did a great job. You evoke the enthusiastic young Teddy wonderfully. He was, indeed, brave and amazing, it seems to me. And I think you have the reaction of the boys captured very well. What fun!
HW
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:52 am

RosieAnnie - When I read this I end up nodding along with Jones... For instance  - “Yes, sir. You work hard, so that your children can have better lives than you.”.....“That don’t sound like nothing new to me. Ain’t that what every parent hopes for his kids?” is it worrying that in your lovely tale I identify most with an old gun slinger...lolx I've also done lots of things that sound a lot more exciting and glamorous in the re-telling than the living - so I'm there with him/you on that one too. Great story telling. And loved that you brought in the Yellowstone future/past.

MoulinP - its "Open All Hours in the West" - love this Porterville epic.  A type writer... a big one ... and a genius.   A genius combination for fun.  And the typical single minded concentration... I can see the silver tongue clamped between lips here.... and such good news! well done...another great addition.

Gringa - Confession time... I read this a long time ago and loved it... and I bet my New Teacher story got inspired by it indirectly... anyway...I'm giving you credit for it... I loved this unusual tale so it would have been there at the back of my mind. I think you get top marks for the best description of the outlaw Hannibal Heyes - an air of danger dressed in charm.... perfect. I also really enjoyed the older Mr Nicholas' summation of the incident in the last paragraph... Kid didn't like the way a child was looking at him...rang so true. Excellent challenge.
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Mar 07, 2017 8:05 am

Nebraska Wildfire - Curry looked innocent in sleep... thank you for that image...big tick from me. Aw I'm loving this look at their domestic arrangements...another quote I love - He sat down, prepared to fortify himself with breakfast, and patience for the coming discussion. This is a beautiful Kid fest - YES! Heyes is dreaming...love that romantic side of him... But Kid knows him too well... Loved this peaceful interlude and a little hidden camera candid eavesdropping on the partnership ...well done NBW... first story?...very well done .
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Mar 09, 2017 11:28 am

Skykomish - I enjoyed this mad romp through the West with Theodore Roosevelt and the boys... I even forgave them the shooting at buffalo... that's what they did in those days... way too often I suppose.  You did a great job adapting the trip to an AS&J plot.  Made a really good and enjoyable read.  The knife was an eyeopener... jewel encrusted... really... sounds mad.  If you'd made that up I would have thought ...No that would never happen...goes to show...truth is stranger than fiction.

Helen West - I'm so far behind the curve I already know this is a favourite this month... I enjoyed this very unusual tale... and it kept me guessing.  Loved the moving book and the cat travelling companion... and the upstairs library assistant...so many things. Loved the flashback (almost) to the amnesty and Kid's future... and a leap of faith...This had so much packed into it...no wonder it came out on top... a very worthy winner... Just great, well done.
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Mar 09, 2017 12:29 pm

OOOH nearly forgot - meant to add... A few of you ( HH, Gin, SK, RA )were kind enough to encourage me to re-write my story "The New Teacher"... Writing I made a start for this prompt (as I got the original idea reading about Herbart-ian scholars in the West in the late nineteenth century) and I've gone forward with it a bit already in 'Stories by Cal' on this site.  It's going to take a while but glad to be giving it another go.
  sun 1
Thanks again for the encouragement.
Calx
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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Mar 09, 2017 1:29 pm

Banana Dance fiesra  Great news, Cal!
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:24 pm

Cal:  I really enjoyed your additional scenes for ...Brimstone.  Your additional subplots meshed very well with the original story.  I loved the "wrongful arrest" (or not) lines at the end.
Thanks also for the kind comments on my story last month.  Until you mentioned it, I didn't realize how much I put in there that might make a Kid fan happy.  I've always seen them as equals, and my favorite scenes in the shows are the conversations and banter between the boys, so that's what I like to write.


All:  Thanks to everyone who posted such nice comments on my first attempt last month.  They make me aspire to be as talented of a writer as all of you. 
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Cal

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:22 pm

RosieAnnieUSA - Missing scene
First out of the gate indeed, and St Davids day too! Well done, I for one don't mind an older story, love getting to read them again. 
It was nice of Kid to save some grub.  Well... we all know what Kid's up to with Michelle.. good pick up ..to follow Heyes and Blanche.
"I watched Michelle bandage Thaddeus" ... I think we all watched that Blanche... Excellent dialogue here .. fits the original character perfectly. Aw... I'm seeing the stars, how romantic.  Love this banter, its perfect and just PG13 lol. I wonder who is teasing who? "Lots more fun too".. if it wasn't gorgeous Heyes and the murderess, this would be so cheesy... love it.
I think they're both a little more tempted than they are letting on. "I rarely let an opportunity pass..." that's soo Blanche... but thousands of Heyes girls are screaming.... "You're in his arms...what's wrong with you woman!"  lol.... The story Heyes spins to keep her interested is fab.  Because we know where this ends this is hilarious...in all the right ways.  "My last relationship ended badly"... Oh that's the killer.
Well done RA.. excellent missing scene work... fabulous ... very entertaining.
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