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 Applause and Feedback

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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 30, 2015 10:50 pm

Keays -- what a suspenseful tale (I did jump up to the complete story to finish it -- so, very seasonal as well).  Your knowledge of horses shines through the tale -- well done.
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Dec 30, 2015 10:59 pm

Silverkelpie -- I remember this one and enjoyed it again.  Yes such children would have been hard to place and in any event many children were "adopted" just to be cheap labor.  A good seasonal tale.
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Stormr

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Dec 31, 2015 2:34 pm

Keays - A posse, snow, ice and a wonderful holiday tale.  I could feel the cold and the struggle of the poor horses.  

Silverkelpie - an oldie but a goodie and one that fits so well.   Two good hearted bad men or not so bad at all.  With hearts like they have, I wonder how they ever weren't on the right side of the law.   Very sweet.

Insideoutlaw - Wow - who knew Kyle could think so quickly on his feet!  He may not have been a good gang memeber originally, but I think Milt made up for it.
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Silverkelpie

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Jan 01, 2016 10:09 am

Remuda - Was that woman mad at being grabbed by Harry and not the boys?  Yes, that would explain her reaction.  What an overreaction, and because of it the boys spent time in an icy jail and Heyes behaves like a stereotype of himself.  Great dialogue as always.

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Stormr

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Jan 01, 2016 11:17 am

Remuda - Brrrr.  Yeah, I would be riding out of town as quick as possible with that kind of greeting - icy...very icy!
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Jan 01, 2016 12:29 pm

Remuda:  That was cold!  Too bad the boys ran into a foul-tempered woman who doesn't understand letting bygones be bygones!

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RosieAnnieUSA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Jan 01, 2016 1:44 pm

Keays: Wow! You really know how to build the tension! I actually had to step away for a minute, because I was getting too excited.

Admin: I remember this story. I enjoyed seeing it again. What struck me this time was how you remembered people who were forgotten at Christmas, meaning, Jewish families. It's always nice to have a happy ending, where siblings are reunited in a happy home. Thanks for that.
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RosieAnnieUSA

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Jan 01, 2016 1:51 pm

Inside Outlaw:  I really enjoy Kyle's role in all this. And he actually was the one who did the quick thinking that saved the day! Yay Kyle!

StormR: A big leadership lesson for Wheat, from Heyes: "Maybe you shouldn't steal the gang's money on the first night." I love Kyle's reasoning why they're making Sunshine. Good thing they moved the winter supplies first!

Remuda: Seeing the conundrum Harry, Heyes and Curry found themselves in, just for trying to be helpful, reminded me of one of my mother's sayings. "You can't win for losing." It seems to fit their experience in this cold town just right!
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skykomish

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Jan 01, 2016 11:33 pm

Remuda -I do remember this tale.  I love the still peacefulness of the story reflecting the quiet snowfall.  The idea of tasting the snowflakes and investigating whether or not they tasted different than those from home was inspired and so true to a child's way of thinking about the world.  I liked that it was Heyes who was reminiscing about this innocent past incident.  I also like the fact that Valparaiso was not painted as a sordid hell hole.  I  realize that orphanages of that era were rough places, but I like to think that Heyes and Curry made their own choices--even the bad ones--rather than being victims of their circumstances.  Lovely story.

Gringa - I enjoyed this very much.  You used historical information about western women and their circumstances in different stations and wove it into an engaging story.  I liked your heroine and found the man who harassed her offensive and believable.  I was glad when Heyes and Curry stepped in to help her.  I was a little surprised that Heyes took the lead in helping out the lady in distress. He usually lets the Kid take the lead and wades in afterwards, sometimes none too graciously.  But I was so glad to see her defended.  The twist at the end was just perfect.  Nice job. 

RosieAnnie - I loved the descriptions of the cold and the wind in the early portions of this story.  I could feel the wind tugging at my clothes and hear the crack of the ice under my steps.  You provided great descriptions that never obstructed the story, but instead enhanced it.  Then you wove the whole thing into a warm and seasonal tale with out becoming sloppy or sentimental.  Great job.  Clapping loudly here. clapping

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skykomish

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Jan 02, 2016 12:00 am

MoulinP - Welcome to the story challenge!  Glad you joined the game.  This was a fun tale. I appreciated  the specters of Diamond Jim and Winford Fletcher.  I really like how Heyes changed the names in his books.  (Whatever happened to Heyes is, of course, one of my first questions.  But then I am always interested in the whereabouts of that particular fellow.)  I enjoyed the relationship between Christopher and Harry and felt that the dialogue was well written.  A very fun story.  I hope that we will be reading more from you and that you complete this mystery.

Keays - Nice job.  I enjoyed this story very much.  I was tired and nearly out of breath after reading the description of Curry's horse heaving himself out of the snow.  The weak wave he gave Heyes to reassure him that he was well was a nice touch.  I could feel both of the men and horses struggling through the snow drifts and was relieved when they made it to where the snow was less deep.  But just as I was relaxing, you have them cross the icy river.  I was already worried, when the shots began to crack against the ice.  You did a good job of keeping the tension.  I understand from reading other comments that something pleasant happens at the end, but I am holding off on reading that section until after I have voted for this month.  (I want to make sure that I vote on what portion of your story has been submitted, rather than on the whole thing.  I don't want shorter stories to compete with your completed, longer one.)  Once I have made up my mind on voting, I will enjoy finishing this very well written tale.  Clapping hard for what I have read so far. clapping  

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skykomish

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Jan 02, 2016 12:35 am

Admin - I remember this story.  I love the way it ends.  I like how kind and caring Kyle's sister is toward the orphaned pair, and her husband's welcoming understanding.  The opening paragraph is beautifully written.  It pulls me right inside the icy landscape where I can feel the chill sink into my fingers and toes and hear the cracking ice.  I love this line: The rays illuminated a scene of glittering beauty; nature dressed in her icy mantle of crystal lace, preserved in chilled air that cut through the sinuses and hit bare skin like the bade blade of a knife.  Lovely story.


InsideOutlaw - I may have a gruesome streak, but I really liked you description of Heyes and the outlaws getting the body out of the frozen water.  Loved this exchange:

“For Pete’s sake, what are we gonna do with him?” challenged Wheat.

 “We’ll take him with us,” said Heyes simply.

“To the robbery?  That don’t make sense.”

I liked how they got away with the robbery, but I was surprised at Kyle's quick thinking.  This was a very fun story.  Enjoyed it very much.

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When you put your hand in a flowing stream, you touch the last that has gone before and the first of what is still to come.
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skykomish

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Jan 02, 2016 12:52 am

Storm - I love the way that you write Wheat and Kyle.  This story is such fun.  I chuckled over Kyle's logic about Sunshine vs Moonshine.  Wheat stealing by playing a threatening game of poker is great.  The way Wheat talks Kyle into placing the still in the supply shack was so completely in character.  I was worried that they were about to lose all of their winter provisions, but you saved their food for the winter and kept Heyes and Curry in whiskey with smooth writing.  Great job.  So glad that you kept at this story until you finished it.

Remuda 2 - That is one icy town.  The sheriff is smart and definitely a stickler about who is allowed in his town.  Poor Harry.  He really didn't do anything wrong in this story, but he certainly isn't treated well.  At least the man, Harold, who supported Heyes' and Curry's version of events, seemed like a decent sort.  Loved the dusty banter near the end of the story.  All in all, I think that they are well rid of Icy Burg

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When you put your hand in a flowing stream, you touch the last that has gone before and the first of what is still to come.
- Leonardo DaVinci
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:06 pm

InsideOutlaw -- LOL.  I really enjoyed this story and the dark humor involved.  I can easily see this level of reverence (or lack thereof) for a fallen acquaintance as likely under the circumstances.  As others have commented, it's interesting to see Kyle think that quickly on his feet, on the other hand there are a couple of episodes when the gang is there without Wheat and in those episodes Kyle is clearly in charge.  Moments like the one you created would no doubt be why others would follow Kyle.
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:16 pm

StormR - that was definitely worth the wait.  You have Kyle perfectly and Wheat as well.  Glad they at least moved the supplies or it would have been a very long winter.  What a fun story.


Last edited by riders57 on Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:25 pm

Remuda -- a great one to round out the month.  Good dialogue; Harry was in character.  Yes Icy Burg indeed.  Nice to know there was one thoughtful soul in the place, willing to see the incident without hostility and speak up about it.  Had to laugh at the thought that the more Heyes used that silver tongue of his, the more suspicious the sheriff became.
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Gringa

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sun Jan 03, 2016 5:30 pm

Remuda - Yes, a icy glare from a frigid woman certainly fits the prompt.  I never used to understand the saying, "no good deed goes unpunished" but this is a perfect example of it too.  Loved that it was Heyes who nearly gave the game away.
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Jan 06, 2016 12:07 pm

Silverkelpie -- what a rousing start to the New Year.  Such a fun story.  That grappa will get you every time if you're not careful.  Enjoyed this the first time and this time around.
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skykomish

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Sat Jan 09, 2016 12:15 pm

Silverkelpie - I remember this one.  Such a fun story!  Conrad is  a great character and would be a catch for any woman.  Loved the bit with the grappa.  I can see the hardened western types writing off a "fruity" drink.  But grappa will bite you hard if you don't watch how much you drink. I was suspecting that you might post  The Hole in the Ground Gang, but this one was perfect.

Riders - I loved this story.  I wish that I had thought of it.  As soon as I started reading I thought that this was a wonderful idea.  Reverend Spencer was the perfect choice and you wrote his sermon beautifully.  Lots of clapping and a big bravo from me.  clapping clapping clapping

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When you put your hand in a flowing stream, you touch the last that has gone before and the first of what is still to come.
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Stormr

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Wed Jan 13, 2016 1:09 pm

Silverkelpie - Oh beware of the Grappa!!!  I'm not so sure it's a fruit drink (not the grappa I've had) but I guess considering what the boys are use to it would be.  A few shots of that and yeah I can see Heyes causing damage!  

Riders - Reverend Spencer - what a perfect sermon for the prompt - wish I had thought of it though it wouldn't has been written as well as you did.
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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Jan 14, 2016 11:32 pm

I'm so sorry to be so late with the rest of my December comments. But here they are...

MoulinP - Welcome to the story challenge! Glad to see you posted a story. This was intriguing. You seem to already have your own 'after amnesty' universe. Sad that Heyes has apparently passed away. Maybe Kid can help the boys out. Ironic that their sons went into law enforcement.

Keays - A very intense story. You write action so well, I felt like I was there with them. Good thing for the boys that the posse just shot at the ice instead of at their backs. I could just see the pileup of posse members as they tried to cross the frozen water. Glad the boys found that house when they did. Liked the reaction to the name Marshall.

Admin - So the boys find a child that is having a childhood they can sympathize with. No doubt they saved the boy's, no wait, he's a she! Either way, they saved her life by finding her. Glad they found her brother and got him away from that man. And now, they are together and in a loving home with Kyle's sister. Perfect for the past Christmas season.

InsideOutlaw - Oh no! A robbery gone bad! But look who saves the day...Kyle! He had a right smart idea there using Milt as a would be hostage. Loved this!

Stormr - Mean of Wheat to scare the others into folding so he'd win. Heyes was right. Might not want to rile the men you'll be spending the whole winter with. Loved that they decided to make moon, excuse me, SUNshine! And the explosion was hilarious! Loved this one too.

Remuda - What an icy town, especially that hateful woman. Loved the line from the sheriff about Joshua Smith running on at the mouth like Hannibal Heyes. For once, the silver tongue almost gave them away instead of helping them get away.

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Jan 14, 2016 11:40 pm

Now to start on January...

Silverkelpie - I felt sorry for Conrad. Having the love of his life ignore him. Until a pair of ex-outlaws came along. Then Heyes encounters grappa for the first time and proceeds to ruin the counterpane. That was funny! Loved this!

Riders - What a perfect story for the prompt. Reverend Spencer's sermon was written perfectly. He had the perfect testimony about alcohol. Clapping!

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Stormr

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Thu Jan 21, 2016 10:09 am

MoulinP - so how big was that glass of red??????  Wow, I would absolutely swear off drinking if I had just one of those dreams.  Poor Kid.  

Keays - liked the story last month, still like the story and works well with the prompt.
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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Jan 22, 2016 3:57 pm

Silverkelpie: I enjoyed reading this again. All the small nuances you have included makes this a fun and interesting story. The backstory you have going on about the counterpane is so funny and has us wondering from the get go. The boys as matchmakers trying to help a short man win a tall woman is cute and creative. Loved it!

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Last edited by Javabee on Sat Jan 23, 2016 3:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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riders57

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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Jan 22, 2016 4:18 pm

MoulinP -- An interesting take on the prompt.  Absinthe certainly has that reputation and I appreciate your notes at the end.

Keays -- You write action well.  I like that you had the posse's efforts to trap our boys turn back against themselves.

Stormr -- Quite a haunting tale.  You build the surprise well and I can see why the Kid felt that sleeping (or not) on the trail was preferable to that town.
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PostSubject: Re: Applause and Feedback   Fri Jan 22, 2016 4:44 pm

Riders:
This was such a great choice not only for the prompt, but also to represent the entire theme of the show.  There is a little bad in everyone, as well as a little good, and this idea is reinforced in many episodes. The idealistic Reverend Spencer had given up, and turned to alcohol in disappointment, but our flawed heroes helped set him straight:

“I was shocked, shocked that my man of God could commit such violence.   My angel had feet of clay.  But he explained what I had been too foolish to understand.  We are a mixture of good and evil; God and the Devil battle within each of us.

Redemption, forgiveness, and "amnesty" is not needed if you are already perfect, and who better to teach him that lesson than a couple of reformed outlaws. It appears the good Reverend has learned his lesson well. as you have compellingly written:

There will be failures, but there will also be successes.  And that is why we are here today to succeed and to forgive ourselves our failures and those of each other.  Amen.”

Thanks, Riders. Loved this.

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