Applause and Feedback

InsideOutlaw:

You got my attention straight way with the fear that the blue eyed prisoner might be the Kid. His mistreatment set the tone of the story which had a rough edge despite what should have been good news about the boys getting their amnesty. 
Your Heyes is still an outlaw through and through, as evidenced with this telling line: "If he was honest--which he wasn’t--he’d admit the only reason they’d given up stealing at all was the modern world was closing in on them.  If it weren’t for the advent of the telephone and the shrinking of the West, they’d still be at it."  
Only the Kid expressed some hint of genuine redemption as he wondered if their visit to the prison might actually help someone. Still scheming and planning, Heyes doesn't much care. For him, it was all so clearly just a means to an end. 
This is so well done IO, thanks!

Ah, the indomitable Ma Brown, with her "mighty hands", "monumental hips', and "menacing voice". What a woman she must be, to hold the fear and respect of our usually unaffected heroes. The fact that they worked so hard to redeem themselves in her eyes speaks volumes of their regard for her. It also provides for some entertaining visuals, as they struggle to find their way around a kitchen. I am amused by Heyes referring to the Kid as "the fastest bun in the west", and gratified by the lesson learned that "good food don't just happen". 
Thanks Nancy! 

Silverkelpie:  It's not nice to make someone laugh that hard first thing in the morning!

Moonpie - Another chapter of your story and we're starting to get close to finding Mrs. Beecher.  With nurses like Kyle and Wheat I'm begining to fret for the Kid too.

Keays -  Morrison has a cold, hard logic for his approach.  It's simplistic and narrow, but it's there.  Very well-drawn.

Insideoutlaw - You had me worried for a moment there.  Great misdirection.  Great take on the prompt, as a meanss to an end neither of them are too happy with it, but it serves a purpose; even if it's just not the same one for each of them.


Nancy Whiskey - Ma Brown has the best idea.  Let them know how much work goes into making the food the demolished after a bender.  Great idea.  I can only hope the pie was as good.



Riders -  Silas Tiberion Uttermole ?  How could anyone not love a story with a name like that in it?  I love this line: “Oh, we do,” the Kid chuckled.  “Why I know a fella whose first name is so bad he’ll only use his last name.”  I loved Wheat repeating all Heyes' orders like a parrot.  I was beginning to feel jealous of the organ's adventures until the very end.  What a romp! 


Sheila -  I always love a story with Harry.  One of my favourite characters.  He's suitably out of his depth, and at his floundering best here, while a cool Heyes excutes one of his plans.  This looks like a real goodie.  I can't wait to read the rest.


Remuda -  Beautiful descriptive language in this one.  You read the opening scene and you're right there.  I've never read a story of  Lom going to negotiate the amnesty before.  Very original and a great take on the prompt.  The whole series was certainly a means to an end when you look at it as a quest for amnesty.


Eva -   Thanks for posting and I'm hopin that this is to be continued.  You certainly caught a good motive for the boys turing detective.  They have to clear their names to get the amnesty.  I'm looking forward to seeing how.

MOONPIE;  Great continuation of your story.  Heyes always did come across as the more nurturing of the two, but he should know better than to try and fool the Kid.  still, worth a try, considering the circumstances.  Loved the line 'The poker player slipped into his mask, and flashed a reassuring dimple.'.


INSIDEOUTLAW;   You wrote a nice set-up at the beginning of this, getting us all thinking that the prisoner was our one and only Kid Curry.  It would make sense that there would be conditions put on the amnesty and this would be a good one.  A means to an end, for sure, and Heyes does know how to take advantage of a situation.


NANCYWHISKEY;  Ma Brown was definitely a force to be dealt with.  Very smart woman too, and knew the best way to get the message across to two young and impulsive men.  I can't seem to get rid of the image of Kid Curry standing in the kitchen, covered in flour from head to foot.

SILVERKELPIE;  What a hoot!  Who cares if it's historically inaccurate?  Love their logical view of what the questions were asking of them, and how positive they were of their suitability for the positions.  Loved Kyle's statement; "I don't care what colour they come in.  Just not slappin' me is flirtin'.".

RIDERS57;  Poor Mr.  Uttermole seemed very much out of place in this world of thieves and ex-outlaws!  I always enjoy an unexpected encounter between our boys and their previous gang members.  Wheat is always lots of fun.  Still feeling intimidated by Heyes, yet he desperately holds on to his fragile leader status as well.  Surprising, but well deserved ending!

SHEILAUK;  Oh yes!  Like many of us, I enjoy another encounter with Harry Briscoe!  He takes ineptitude to a whole new professional level.  Of course Heyes pulls off this con even with Harry involved in the mix.

REMUDA;  I always enjoy your writing, and this piece is no exception.  I can relate to Lom being uncomfortable with putting on 'airs' in order to get the job done.  A great missing scene from the pilot and it fits in nicely, not only with the pilot, but with the prompt as well.

EVAHANLEY;  Oh this was good!  Really looking forward to seeing where this story goes.  I can understand Kid's consternation with basically working for the enemy.  But Heyes is right, it's definitely a means to an end.

Keays - I hate Morrison.  It's clear that he sees the world from his experience only.  It take a more mature mind to step beyond that and walk in their shoes.  You wrote this character well.  


Insideoutlaw - The two perspectives of the men are caught well here.  The Kid owners if they are helping anyone and Heyes thinks they are only helping themselves and goes through the motions.  Very well written.


Nancy Whiskey - Loads of fun here and very visually laid out for us with the descriptive language.  That'll teach them!


Silverkelpie - So very funny!  I loved that they saw the question of sex as a way to see how fit they were.  Hillarous. 


Riders -  What a fun tale.  If this had been an episode it would have been everyone's favorite for sure.  Loved every minute of it.


Sheila -  This one I'm going to read.  I love Harry, I love a Hannibal Heyes plan, and I love to see the baddies thwarted.  This has the lot.  Loved it.



Remuda - You are such a wonderful writer and you also gave us something very different.  There aren't too many Lom stories but you certainly gave us a good one.  Where would the series be without Lom?  Really good.



Eva - Like others I am hoping for a continuation.  I like stories where they have to clear their name and this looks like you're building up to a good one.  I hope you post the rest soon

Riders:

I so enjoyed this tale. From the train robbery and the reunion with the DHG, to the vision of the unpleasant Widow McCreevey plummeting over the falls, there is something for everyone. I wondered how you were going to sneak in the prompt, and you did not disappoint with your wonderful last line. This was a very entertaining story, thanks Riders! 

SheilaUK:

As inept as Harry is, Heye's plans always seems to come out on top in the end. It's always fun to see the cool and clever Heyes triumph, despite the challenges of working with the Harrys and Kyles of the world. The contrast in the characters makes for an interesting story. Another clever excerpt, thanks Sheila. 

Remuda:

It's revealing to see the inner thoughts of Lom as he approaches the Governor on behalf of his outlaw friends. He really was putting his reputation and career on the line. I am not sure the boys ever fully grasped the difficult position they were putting Lom in, as a go between. As others have said, this is written very descriptively. Well done, Remuda.

EvaHanley:

I love the premise of this story: The boys turning detective to arrest train robbers and clear the bounties on their heads. I most certainly would like to see where this goes. Hoping for a continuation. Thanks Eva!

Javabee wrote:

SheilaUK:

As inept as Harry is, Heye's plans always seems to come out on top in the end. It's always fun to see the cool and clever Heyes triumph, despite the challenges of working with the Harrys and Kyles of the world. The contrast in the characters makes for an interesting story. Another clever excerpt, thanks Sheila. 

Thank you, Javabee!  Do go and read the whole thing to see if/how it all works out!

Writing the first part was pretty easy, but it took me weeks of thought to come up with the Heyes plan for the second part!  That Heyes is really a genius!!

Riders:  What a hoot!  The train robbery was great with lots of fun lines, but I had no idea what they'd face when they got to their final destination.  Widow McCreevey made a classic mistake believing she knew God was on her side.  Too funny!

SheilaUK:  I enjoyed this excerpt and will definitely read the longer version.  You know Heyes had to be desperate to use Harry in a plan.  Luckily, this one went well.

Remuda:  Good scene with Lom squirming while awaiting the governor's decision.  He definitely had to put his career on the line for his friends.

Eva:  It's great to have you writing again!  What a great premise for a story, too.  Our boys are forced to work with the railroads instead of against them.  I'm looking forward to seeing how they clear their names.

Moonpie
This is an exciting continuation of your story.  You had me on pins and needles about Christina, and poor Kid all laid up.  Leave it to Heyes to be there with a plan.  Looking forward to the next installment.

Keays
Another spot-on excerpt from one of your epics (TOF?).  How cool to almost always be able to find an entry within the stories to go with the prompt.  It's difficult to deny Morrison's having a great argument.

Inside Outlaw
Heyes and Curry as motivational speakers brings to mind the likes of Frank James and Cole Younger on the motivational circuit years after their outlaw days, so this, as well as all the conditions of the boys' amnesty, rings very true.  I doubt the governor would have given it so free and clear.  I guess we were on the same wavelength this month, although we approached it at two ends of the spectrum.

Nancy Whiskey
What a charming tale!  I've only pictured the boys cooking over a campfire, never in a kitchen, but why not?  The premise here is cute, and Ma Brown a fun character.  Loved the alliterative phrasing -- long, lean legs; further flurry of flour.  Well done.

Silverkelpie
Too funny -- even Kyle hates when he's the smart one!  Love this exchange:  “I went to school for four whole years.” ... “Yeah, but wasn’t that ‘cos it took that long for ya to pass first grade?”  But then, others followed and each was better than the last.  This is a hoot all round.

Riders
One funny followed on its heels by another.  This is wonderful, and laughing out loud funny.  Chuckled all the way through what I at first thought was a double entendre (who knows, maybe it was).  Mrs. McGreevey was a great character; haven't we all known someone like that.  And yes, the fat lady indeed sang.  Leo Durocher (or was it Yogi Berra?) would be proud.

Sheila
I adore Harry Briscoe, so seeing him here was fun.  He always adds something -- spice, bumbling -- to the plot.  Will have to check out the entire story.

Eva Hanley
Nice continuation of your story.  Love when there's a historical component to a plot, and here we have real figures -- Leland Huntington and Grenville Dodge.  They're shrewd having the boys help catch train robbers.  The plot thickens.  Looking forward to the rest.

Silverkelpie:

This is a great little piece of detective work on the part of our clever ex-outlaw leader. Heyes was very smug throughout, leaving his loyal partner in the dark for most of it. I like how the Kid got him back with the unintended consequence of Heyes ending up doing all the chores. I liked this line: “Smart as a fox, huh?  Meet a coyote." 
On a more personal note: I am now frantically inspecting my hands for signs of aging, and sure enough, the tell tale signs are there. I'm going to have to cut this short; it appears I need to immediately locate and acquire a nice fard.

I want to apologize to all the writers. I haven't left any comments for challenges lately because I've had to be out of town a lot and have been through a lot lately. I haven't had time to read the challenges and have fallen behind. I'm hoping I can start back with this month. Again, I apologize.

Moonpie - A great conclusion to your story, very poignant and surely the start of them thinking about going straight?  There have been great one-liners and characterizations in this, right down to the tragedy which robs Heyes of his silver tongue. Very acute social observations re the place and treatment of women in this too.  Loved it. 

Silverkelpie - a cunning Hannibal Heyes plan was the only was the only way this pair were going to get caught and this was a great one.  I never say that coming at all.  Great to see the Kid getting a win in too, as the coyote that outsmarted the fox.

Remuda - What a wonderful exploration of the complex web of vengeance and humanity which mixed the childhood memory and experience with the confounding humanity and maturity of the grown man.  The internal battle is caught just as wonderfully in the dialogue as it is in what remains unsaid.  Loved it. 

Insideoutlaw - You are such a wonderful writer and only you could come up with a
beautiful sentence like, "The words washed over him like a soft rain, tickling his consciousness but sliding off with little effect".  The way the change of tone was brought in and gained momentum was very skilful, and it was a very audacious move by Heyes to speak out like that.  Loved the last line.  That was very 'Kid'.

Silverkelpie
So it was one we might least expect in a seemingly unused room with a kitchen implement!  Holy Clue game, Batman!  Heyes sure has figured out this one.  Had no clue where it was going until he lit into Mrs. Williams.  Interesting clues, and spot on.  Lots of great lines.  Particularly loved Kid's going along with Heyes' scheme and getting out of an evening's worth of work, but he was right -- have to follow through on the entirety lest the mark see them.  On that score, Heyes had it coming to him.  Brilliant!

Moonpie
Powerful conclusion to your ongoing story.  Perfect complement to what ye sow, shall ye reap.  Memories and consequences merge in a tragic ending.  The memories they'll face immediately to reflect on a life they touched, but those of the consequences -- the personal ones -- will wait another day.  Well done!

Keays - Yay!  An original story.  You caught my attention right away with the mysterious boy who always seemed to be looking at them; and no wonder.  He was clearly a real risk to them.  I won't give away how for other readers, but we've all got to agree.  He does have a quirky face.