“It’s a means to an end.” Wheat turned to his friend with a growing grin. “That’s what Heyes said.”
“There ain’t nothin’ that worries me more than you with a plan,” groaned Kyle, “except maybe, this plan.”
Wheat glared at his partner, and Kyle could have sworn that one eye bugged out more than the other. “Find a way to spy on the railroad, he said. I’m doin’ that. They want a security team and we’re applyin’. We know how to keep money secure. When we steal cash, it stays stolen. We’re just the men they want.”
“I ain’t sure this is what he meant,” Kyle scratched his head. “I hate it when I’m the smart one.”
Wheat pulled out a scrunched up piece of paper and spread it carefully out on the saloon table. “Ya gotta apply in writin’. I guess it’s their way of weedin’ out the dumb ones.” He smiled triumphantly. “I went to school for four whole years.”
“Yeah, but wasn’t that ‘cos it took that long for ya to pass first grade?” Another scowl landed on the smaller outlaw. “Hey, ya helped your Ma in the cathouse. If that ain’t an education, I don’t know what is.”
“It’s book smarts they want. That’s why we gotta fill in this form. They give the same one to everyone, from the waitresses to the men layin’ the lines.” The tip of his tongue protruded from the side of his mouth as he put down his false name and even falser age. “We’ll do me first. Now the first question. Wheat’s nose crinkled. “Sex...”
A pair of wide blue eyes twinkled over a dropped jaw. “They let ya do that at work? Maybe we want to go straight and join this outfit after all?”
Wheat nodded in agreement. “What d’ya think we should say? Once, twice a week?”
Kyle thought hard; really hard. “Put four. They might be tryin’ to see how fit we are.”
“Great thinkin’, partner. I’ll put five. Next question, m.a.r.i.t.a.l. status,” the unfamiliar word came out slowly and deliberately.
“Marshal?” Kyle shook his head. “No, we can’t claim to be no marshals. They’ll check.”
“I’ll write ‘no.’ Current employer. We can’t put down the Devil’s Hole Gang.” Wheat sat back pensively in his chair. “What’ll we say?”
“How’s about we’s between outfits?”
“Yeah. That’s what I’ll put. ‘Between outfits’,” Wheat frowned at the next question. “Children.”
“Hate ‘em... Skills?”
“Well ain’t that just what we’s good at? Put down that we can shoot the eye off a bug, sharp as a needle, and ride like the wind.”
“Yeah, that’s good, but there ain’t much space. It looks like bug, needle, and wind are our strengths...”
“They’ll get the gist of it,” Kyle waved his hand dismissively. “What’s next?”
“Reason for applying,” Wheat swung back on his chair. “I’m guessin’ they don’t want us to say we want their money.”
“Nah, that’d be a give-away. How about a clever way of sayin’ our last place went bust?”
“Kyle, I don’t care what anybody says. You’re a genius.” Wheat leaned forward, mouthing as he wrote. “Last boss made money, then had large defecate.”
“Real classy,” Kyle murmured. “Now they want to know our most positive attribute? Jeesh, they make it easier to hold them up than it is to guard them.”
“Well, what do you like about me?”
Kyle grinned. “Well you’re the most devious, double-dealin’, thievin’, hard-drinkin’, cheat who ever had my back.”
Wheat nodded. “I’ll put chatty. Now they want weaknesses,” a smile twitched of his lips. “An easy one at last. Blondes and whisky. Ain’t that most men’s weakness?”
“I don’t care what color they come in. Just not slappin’ me is flirtin’.”
“Not chargin’ me is mine. Preferred hours. You got a favourite, Kyle?”
“Saturday night,” he asserted. “The whole town’s swingin’ and singin’. Ya can’t beat it.”
“Great. We’re nearly done here. Just gotta think of our ‘notable achievements or recognition.”
“Well, yoo’s wanted in five states. That’s recognition.” Kyle raised his brows. “Can we make that sound good?”
“How would Heyes say it?” Wheat drummed his fingers on the table. “Track record of guardin’ money against criminals? Ya had to keep hold of it in the Hole, for sure. They’d steal the fingers from your gloves.”
“We’ll I guess we just about got the first form done. Anythin’ else?”
Wheat shook his head. “Nope. It just says sign at the bottom.”
Kyle smiled, revealing an array of uneven teeth. “Well that’s easy. I’m Aries. When was you born again?”
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