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 Keeping the Faith

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Stormr

Stormr

Posts : 96
Join date : 2013-08-28

Keeping the Faith Empty
PostSubject: Keeping the Faith   Keeping the Faith EmptySun Oct 06, 2013 2:54 pm

“Okay, Wheat, we got it all set,” Kyle stated.

“What all set?”

“First bandit.”

“First bandit?” Wheat queried.

“Yep. Since Heyes and Kid won’t be back for ‘while, we’s figured out first bandit.”

“Huh?”

“Ya know, first bandit, second bandit, third bandit…who does what.”

Wheat stared blankly at Kyle.

“‘Kay, so Heyes is always first bandit when he’s here, unless it’s Kid then he’s first. But Heyes and Kid ain’t here so we need a new first. That’s you, but you’s usually second, well third, cause Kid’s second if he ain’t first and Heyes, well he’s always first unless Kid is, but Kid can be second but Heyes ain’t never been second he’s always first.”

Wheat blinked.

“So Heyes ain’t here so Kid’s first bandit, that makes you second. Kid’s not here neither so you get moved up to first bandit. Now we gots to figure out second bandit and third cause they’s important. Now ‘fore Heyes left, he said, who is first is important. Most important to what, that’s second cause ya got t’ know what t’ bring, and then where is third, cause ya got t’ know where ya goin’, and I don’t know the other things he said.”

“Heyes told ya this?”

“Yep, said with me it’ll be a leap of faith if I remembered it all.”

“He did,” Wheat almost chuckled.

“Yep, but I did so I got it all figured out.

“You do?”

“Ah-huh. Who is first, What is second, Where is third and I don’t know is fourth.”

“Say that again?”

“Who is first. What is second. Where is third and I don’t know is fourth.”

“I got that but what are you sayin’?”

“What is second.”

“Who?”

“Is first?”

“I don’t get it?”

“No, I don’t know is the rest of the gang.”

“But Who is first?”

“Yep,” Kyle smiled broadly.

“Who?” Wheat repeated.

“Yes,” he nodded seriously.

“Heyes told ya this?” Confusion spread across Wheat’s face.

“Yep. Who is first, cause it’s the most important.”

“What are you talkin’ about.”

“What ain’t talkin’ he’s second. Who does the talkin’.”

“Who does the talkin’?”

“Now ya got it.”

“Got What?”

“Second,” Kyle triumphantly stated.

“I don’t know…”

“They’s fourth.”

“Who’s fourth?”

“No, Who’s first.” Kyle shook his head, not understanding why Wheat kept messing up the order.

“Who’s first.”

“Yep.”

“Who’s second?”

“Nope, What’s second.”

“Where did you get this?”

“Heyes told me and Where is third.”

“Where is third?”

“Exactly.” Kyle proudly chuckled.

“Kyle, I don’t know…”

“Them’s is fourth.”

“Heyes said this would be a leap?”

“‘O faith.” Kyle hooked his thumbs in his belt.

“You aint’ kiddin’.” Wheat shook his head. “Okay, so let’s go over this again.”

“‘Kay.”

“Who’s first.”

“Yep.”

“What is second?”

“Ah-huh.”

“I don’t know…”

“Nope, they’s fourth. Where is third.”

“I don’t know…”

“Fourth.”

Wheat rubbed his hand over his face and took a breath. “Let’s go over this one more time.”

“‘Kay.”

“Who’s first.”

Kyle nodded.

“What is second?”

“Yep.”

“What is second?” Wheat asked louder.

“Ya got that?”

“Got what?”

“Second?”

“I don’t know.”

“Fourth.”

“Where…”

“Third.”

“I give up.”

“They’s no bandits that give up,” Kyle stated. “Heyes said nothin’ ‘bout givin’ up.”

Wheat blew out a breath, “Okay so this is what Heyes said.”

“Second.”

“Huh?”

“No, huh. What is second.”

“What is second, Where…”

“Third.”

“Third,” Wheat repeated.

“Yep.”

“Who is first, What is second, Where is third and I don’t know what you are talkin’ ‘bout.”

“Ya got it! ‘Cept I don’t know is fourth but I don’t know if they know what ya talkin’ ‘bout neither cause sometimes ya can be confusin’ Wheat.”

Wheat’s shoulders slumped. “Confusin’? Me? Confusin’?” His voice began to rise.

“Sure, Wheat,” Kyle smiled. “Ain’t yur fault ya ain’t as clear as Heyes sometimes.”

“I got a headache,” Wheat mumbled as he turned and walked away.
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Remuda

Remuda

Posts : 823
Join date : 2013-08-25
Age : 44

Keeping the Faith Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keeping the Faith   Keeping the Faith EmptySun Oct 06, 2013 3:05 pm

Oh, I am so glad you posted this, Storm! It's my go-to for a quick chuckle and always delivers.

The concept is original and brilliant -- Abbott & Costello meets ASJ. The "Who's on First" routine never grows old, and neither does this. It's so true to character for the other duo in the DHG. Nobody writes Wheat and Kyle like you!

Much clapping! clapping clapping  
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Dor

Dor

Posts : 31
Join date : 2013-09-22
Location : Long Island

Keeping the Faith Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keeping the Faith   Keeping the Faith EmptySun Oct 06, 2013 3:12 pm

PLAY BALL!!!applause 
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Stormr

Stormr

Posts : 96
Join date : 2013-08-28

Keeping the Faith Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keeping the Faith   Keeping the Faith EmptySun Oct 06, 2013 3:16 pm

Thanks - and I'm glad you got it. I probably should have explained the take for those who might not be familiar with the routine. If you are one of them, go to you tube and search who's on first. This was originally written for spring but hey its October and playoff baseball!
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thewheatman



Posts : 22
Join date : 2013-09-14
Location : San Jose, CA

Keeping the Faith Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keeping the Faith   Keeping the Faith EmptyMon Oct 07, 2013 3:31 pm

Good job! Enjoyed a story about Wheat and Kyle.
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evdokiam



Posts : 6
Join date : 2014-02-12

Keeping the Faith Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keeping the Faith   Keeping the Faith EmptySun Feb 23, 2014 2:17 pm

This is very funny. And it works perfectly, even for those for are totally unfamiliar with Abbot and Costello. Good work !
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Keeping the Faith Empty
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