"Let me get this straight," Jed 'Kid' Curry said stopping Hannibal Heyes from walking away from him. "You want us to actually go to a town named 'Hell For Certain' to do another job for Big Mac McCreedy?"
"Yeah. Why not?" Heyes was trying to make it around Kid to saddle his horse.
"Oh, I don't know. Let's see, well, for starters, the name of the place is HELL FOR CERTAIN. What the heck goes on in a place to earn it that kind of name?"
"Kid, I'm sure its just a regular town like anywhere else. Will you let me by?" Heyes' nonchalantness only succeeded in egging Kid on.
"No Heyes! Besides, everytime we have been anywhere near Big Mac, it ain't caused us nothin' but trouble. I say we find ourselves another, more safer job."
"You don't even know what the job is!"
"Do you? For all you know, he may have us takin' on a tribe of Apaches to get back a bag of beans!"
"Kid, I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with Indians or beans. Do you feel better? NOW WILL YOU LET ME BY!"
Once again, Kid stopped Heyes from going anywhere. "Alright genius, what's he wantin' us to do?"
"Its nothing hard. Should be a piece of cake."
"In a town named Hell For Certain! Must be devil's food cake. WHAT'S THE JOB HEYES?"
"ALRIGHT! He wants us to transport something for him. Nothing hard or dangerous. If you don't let me by you..."
"Its not money is it? I'm done with the transportin' money business unless its OUR money."
"Its not money,...I don't think."
"Well, that's just great. Its untellin' what you've volunteered us for!"
"Kid, so help me if you don't let me around you to saddle my horse,..."
"Why can't he just come meet us here? Why we gotta ride two days to a place named THAT to meet somebody that just brings us trouble? What sense does that make Heyes!"
"It makes perfect sense. If he could transport, whatever it is, here for us to pick up, then why not transport it whereever he wants it to go himself and save himself from paying us. NOW GET OUT OF THE WAY!"
"Just how much ARE we gettin' paid?"
"Kid, MOVE!"
"HOW MUCH HEYES?"
"Five hundred alright! Now, GET!" With that, Heyes finally managed to maneuver around Curry to reach his horse.
"Well, it better be one easy job. I'm gonna get a quick drink while you get ready to go." Kid then started to make his way over to the saloon.
"I'D ALREADY BEEN DONE IF YOU WOULDA LET ME BY YOU!"
Thirty minutes later, the two ex-outlaws were on their way. "I still can't believe there's a place named that AND we're on our way there."
"Kid, will you just let it go? It can't be no worse than any other town we've been in. Besides, Big Mac assured me we don't have to worry about the law there."
"Yeah? And how does he know? Did he ask them if they knew us?"
"No. Its because there ain't no law there."
"Oh, well, I feel lots better. Why would Hell For Certain need a sheriff? So, what happened to him?"
"Sure is pretty country out this way."
"Heyes..."
"And what is that I smell? Honeysuckle?"
"Heyes!"
"Sky's so blue..."
"HEYES!"
"ALRIGHT! The sheriff resigned and nobody wanted to take his place."
"And WHY is that?"
"Weeelllll..."
"Out with it Heyes."
"There used to be a mental asylum close to the town that housed mostly criminals that were...unstable."
"USED to be?"
"Yeah. Well, one night, some of the patients escaped their rooms and set the place on fire. The whole building burnt to the ground along with most of the staff. The few that were left were never heard from again. The patients, however, went into the nearby town and stayed there. Now, everytime the citizens of the town elect a sheriff, he always mysteriously ends up dying."
"The town bein' Hell For Certain...where we're headed."
"Yep. Except it wasn't always called that. It used to be called Pleasantville until..."
"Until the unstable people moved in huh? That's just great Heyes. Wonderful."
"Now don't worry Kid. That's just the stories about the place. They may not even be true. We'll be just fine. We don't even have to stay there long. Big Mac will be passing through there day after tomorrow on his way home so that's where we'll take whatever it is off his hands. We pick up the package, get instructions from him on where to take it, and leave immediately. Simple."
"No Heyes. You know nothing is ever simple with that man."
"Kid! Is that any way to talk about your uncle?"
"Heyes, shut up."
ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ
Two days later, Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry could see the town of Hell For Certain in the distance. They could also see smoke rising from the same area. Kid turned and gave Heyes the 'look'. Heyes promptly ignored him and spurred his horse forward.
Twenty minutes later, they were close enough to hear yelling. Kid's eyes widened as he watched two men, one wearing only his underwear, riding a cow come tearing out of the town followed by four or five other men shooting. The whole menagerie flew past the ex-outlaws without pause. As they disappeared out of sight, Heyes turned his head to hide a grin from Kid's piercing glare. "Heyes, I'm going back."
"Aww now Kid. We'll be fine. Like I said, we won't be here long." Heyes reached out to grab Kid's reins, but he was just out of reach. "C'mon Kid!"
"Alright. I'll come with you. BUT we're leavin' out of this place before dark whether we meet Big Mac or not."
They rode on into town passing a sign that read 'Welcome to Hell', with the 'For Certain' part crossed out. Kid rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. Even in his outlawing days, he couldn't see himself coming to this place. On the other hand, Heyes looked thoroughly excited on the ride in.
They made their way to the hotel where Big Mac was supposed to meet them. They dismounted their horses and walked up to the door to find it locked. They cast a glance at each other, then Heyes shrugged his shoulders and knocked on the door. "Anybody home?"
They heard footsteps coming towards the door, then a voice. "Who's out there? What do you want?"
"This is the hotel? We'd like to come in. A friend is expecting us."
"Are you from here?"
Heyes looked at Kid quizzically. "Uh, no. We're from Kansas." They then heard a lock being undone.
"Well, in that case, come in." The door opened to reveal a mousy looking man with thinning hair.
"I take it you have some rough customers around here," Heyes said walking in.
"Yes. Some of the more 'raucous' citizens like to terrorize the local businesses. Our town's 'reputation' keeps most folks away so we don't get many visitors here at the hotel. That's why I can keep the door locked until I find out who's on my porch. About the only time I get any real business is when the stagecoach gets detoured here due to high water upriver, like it did three days ago."
"So that's why Big Mac wants to meet here."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh. I was just saying our friend wanted to meet us here. Do you have a Mr. McCreedy staying here."
"Yes I do. Actually, he's only one of two people here at the moment. Would you like me to get him? I thought I saw him go back to his room about an hour ago."
"Yes, please."
The mousy man went upstairs. "Heyes. Will you quit having such a good time. Its annoying."
Heyes just replied with a giant grin. That's when they heard two sets of boots coming downstairs.
"Well Smith, Jones! Good to see you! Glad you made it!"
"Howdy Big Mac!"
"Come on up to my room boys. We'll talk about the job."
ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ
"Okay Mr. McCreedy, you got us here. What's Joshua volunteered us for?" Kid Curry asked as he sat down in the chair near the window.
"No need to be rude Thaddeus."
"Now boys let's not argue. The job couldn't be simpler."
"Uh huh...," Kid muttered to himself.
"No breaking an entering or into a safe this time, much as you boys would've liked that. All you have to do is deliver that box over there to Kansas City, Missouri."
Two sets of eyes looked in the direction McCreedy pointed. A small box with holes in it here and there sat in the corner. Kid looked back at him. "Why not just send it by rail?"
"I wanted to make sure it arrived safe and still alive."
"When do we have to have...wait...did you say 'still alive'?" Heyes wanted to make sure he heard right.
"Yes sir. It won't be worth nothing to me if it dies."
"What exactly is 'it'?" Kid was liking this less with every passing second.
"Something I caught while visiting a business associate in Montana. I'm on my home now. Since Kansas City would be a long distance out of my way, and since I know you two are always seeming to need money, I figured we could do each other a favor. So how about it boys? Of course you want the job."
"Mr. McCreedy, you still haven't told us what 'it' is."
"Oh right, right. Well, what I've got here has only been seen by a few people. I have to say it took great skill to catch it. What I've got,...is an albino squirrel."
"A squirrel. You want us to babysit a rodent all the way to Missouri? Big Mac, are you feeling alright?"
"I feel fine! I got a friend in Philadelphia that works at the zoo there. When I told him what I had, he said the zoo would gladly pay me to acquire it. Problem is, they only have time to get to Kansas City. So, I told him I'd have it transported there. You're to meet him one week from now at the train station in Kansas City. He'll have on a tan uniform. I've described you two to him so he'll know you when he sees you."
"Who else might know us if they see us? We haven't even agreed to do this job yet and you've already worked out the details." Heyes gave McCreedy an unbelieving smile.
"Now boys, you know you need the money. Besides, I was going to telegraph my cousin, the sheriff, in the next town over, ask him to dinner. Haven't seen him in a while. He'd be real interested to meet you two."
"Yeah, I bet he would," Kid said with a sarcastic frown.
"Now, no need for that Big Mac," Heyes said hurriedly. "Why, we'll probably be gone before your cousin could get here. What's your friend's name we're to meet in Missouri?"
"I knew you'd want the job! His name is Georgy O'Connell. Once he has the white squirrel, he'll pay you the five hundred dollars I promised you. Here are your train tickets. You'll catch the train tomorrow in Denver. Now you boys best be in your way. Don't want you missing the train." McCreedy thrust the box into Heyes' arms. "Now be sure you don't let Leroy out of that box."
"Leroy? You named it Leroy. Well, what does Leroy eat?"
"I've been feeding him chicken feed. Here's what I have left. It should last the whole trip. I've already fed and watered him today. Good luck boys!" With that, McCreedy ushered them out of the room before they could say anything else and shut the door. There they stood, Heyes holding an albino squirrel named Leroy in a box, and Kid holding a half bag of chicken feed. Heyes stared at the door, Kid stared at Heyes. He could feel Curry's eyes boring into the side of his head.
"Now Kid..."
"DON'T say nothin' Heyes. Just...nothin'. And just so you know, you're packin' the white rat on YOUR horse with you!"
"Its a squirrel, not a rat. Big difference."
"I don't care if its a cute fluffy bunny. You got us into this, so you get to hold Leon."
"LeROY."
"Shut up Heyes."
The two emerged from the hotel with their cargo to see a shirtless, hairy old man herding goats down the street, smiling like he'd just robbed the Denver mint. "This place is plumb crazy. Must be something in the water around here." Kid tied the chicken feed onto the back of his saddle on top of his bedroll. Heyes was deep in thought on where to put Leroy's box. "Something wrong Heyes?" Kid words dripped with sarcasm.
"Just trying to figure out where to put this." He contemplated if it would be wise to tie it on the back. "I guess it would be best if I held it. Don't want to take a chance of it getting away while behind my back. Here." Kid held the critter 'til Heyes got aboard his horse.
"Don't forget your passenger."
"I KNOW." Heyes retrieved the box and clumsily tried to situate it in front of himself on the saddle. Leroy trying to run back and forth inside the box didn't help any. After about five minutes, he was finally set. "This is not going to be an easy ride."
"That's nobody's fault but your own."
"C'mon. We should be in Denver by nightfall."
ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ
A little before sundown, Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry made it to Denver and checked into a hotel room for the night. Kid had immediately went across the street to the saloon and brought back a bottle of whiskey. As he reentered the room, he saw Heyes trying to peer through one of the airholes cut in the box. "What are you doin'?"
"Trying to see what Leroy looks like."
"He looks like a squirrel."
"I KNOW he looks like a squirrel. I've just never seen a white one. Wanna take a peek in the box?"
"No Heyes. Don't even think about openin' that lid. He might get out."
"He won't get out. Just a tiny peek then I'll close the lid. Won't even open it all the way, just lift up the corner. No problem! Its foolproof!"
"For such a self-proclaimin' genius, you should've learned by now never to say that. It always jinxes us!"
"It'll be fine Kid. Geez you're awful proddy tonight."
"Alright then. But don't say I didn't warn you."
Carefully, Heyes lifted the lid ever so slightly and strained to see in the dark interior. He finally noticed some movement in one of the corners. "Hey there little fella!" He turned to face Kid. "Wanna see him?"
Before Kid could answer, a blur of white burst out of the box. "Aw, SEE HEYES! Dang it!"
Kid literally jumped across the room from the door to try to catch Leroy. Heyes dived in the direction of the fleeing animal, only to miss and slide into a chair.
"WHERE'D HE GO!"
"I DON'T KNOW!" Kid started looking in the open closet while Heyes checked behind the dresser.
"Well, he can't go far. The room ain't that big." It was then that Heyes noticed the door was still cracked. In Kid's haste to capture the critter, he had left the door open slightly. "Oh crap."
Kid stopped his rummaging in the dark closet. "What now Heyes?"
"I think Leroy's made a jailbreak." Kid turned to see what Heyes had seen.
"Oh Lord. I KNEW we shouldn't have took this stupid job!"
"We HAD too Kid! McCreedy could turn us in!"
"And that's PRECISELY WHY WE SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM HIM!"
"Well, too late for 'I told you so' now."
"No its not Heyes. I TOLD YOU SO!"
"Shut up and come on. We gotta catch a squirrel. Good thing is, since its late, probably won't be nobody going in and out of the lobby door." Heyes picked up the chamber pot and started towards the door.
"What are ya gonna do with that?" Kid asked following him.
"Well, we gotta have something to capture him in. What do you plan on doing, lassoing him?"
"Don't get smart Heyes. This is all your fault." Heyes rolled his eyes and went out into the hallway, scanning the whole corridor for signs of a runaway squirrel. Thankfully, the other hotel patrons all had their doors firmly shut. Having checked everywhere a squirrel could hide upstairs, they slowly and quietly started down to the first floor. "One of us should stay near the stairs, in case Leroy decides to go back up," Heyes whispered.
"Well, that's gonna be me. You let him out, you get to chase him." Upon reaching the bottom, Kid positioned his stakeout in front of the staircase. "Have fun Heyes!"
Heyes rolled his eyes and started creeping about the room, the chamber pot at the ready. He stopped when he thought he heard some shuffling around the check-in counter. He slinked in the direction of the sound. Nothing was moving in front of the counter, so he crouched down and started around the back. He stopped and peeked around the corner. Kid was enjoying the show immensely. Heyes inched a little more forward to get a better look. After a second or two, his eyes caught movement. There! Next to the hotel's safe sat Leroy. "Hey there buddy. I'm not gonna hurt you." Heyes slowly made his way closer to the squirrel. Leroy's ears perked up and he turned towards Heyes. Heyes stopped. "C'mon, stay right there..." He readied himself as a cat getting ready to pounce would. Raising the chamber pot, he leapt forward, bringing the pot down in a hurry. Leroy's reaction time was quicker and before the pot reached the floor, he had already sprinted up and over the counter. "DANG IT!" Heyes yelled jumping up just in time to see a white tail leap from the countertop. Kid had to stifle a laugh at the ruckus playing out before him. Heyes ran back around to the front of the counter as Leroy took off towards a back room. At that moment, the front door of the establishment opened and the desk clerk came walking in.
"CLOSE THE DOOR!" two ex-outlaw voices yelled in unison.
"Is this a hold-up?" the startled employee asked shutting the door.
"NO, no," Heyes hurriedly answered. "We're trying to recapture a...pet of ours. He accidently got loose."
"There are no pets allowed in the hotel gentlemen," the clerk said sitting on a chair. "When you catch it, it'll have to stay outside."
"We can't leave it outside. We have to make sure it gets to its...uh...new owner safely." Heyes explained, his eyes trying to locate Leroy.
"I'm sorry. Those are the owner's rules. If he were to find out, I'd lose my job. I am sorry."
"Well, alright." Heyes decided to save this argument 'til after he'd caught the wretched rodent. He had made his way back over to Kid's vicinity.
"He went thataway," Kid smirked pointing.
"Thanks oh great tracker of the west." Heyes' sarcasm was thick as molasses. He stalked off in the direction his cousin had indicated. He went around a corner just in time to see the squirrel run straight at him and then through his legs. Heyes turned in pursuit. "This must be how bounty hunters feel." He chased Leroy back out into the front lobby. Kid helped herd him away from the staircase. When Heyes thought he was close enough, he hurled himself at the white squirrel. He slammed the pot down and skidded across the floor, finally catching his prey. "I GOT HIM!" It was at that moment, he noticed the pair of boots standing in front of him. His eyes followed the boots up to a pair of legs, and eventually, up to the shiny tin star pinned to the boot's owner's vest. A pair of dark green eyes glared down at Heyes. "Hey...there...sheriff." Kid just hid his face in his hand, shaking his head.
"What's going on around here? I heard someone yelling in here whilst I made my rounds. You causin' some kind of trouble here boy?"
Heyes slowly got up to sit on his knees, careful not to take the pressure off the top of the chamber pot holding the captive squirrel. "No sir sheriff. Just trying to catch a rodent." He indicated the pot. "Got 'em under here!"
The sheriff looked over to the hotel clerk. "He telling the truth?"
The clerk shook his head. "Yeah. He's been tryin' to catch something. I just been sitting here watching."
"Well, alright then." The lawman looked back down at Heyes. "See to it you keep quiet the rest of the night." Heyes gave him a lopsided grin. The sheriff turned and walked out. Kid let out the breath he just realized he'd been holding.
"Now what are you gonna do? How you gonna pick it up?"
Heyes thought for a moment, then looked up at the clerk. "You got a plate or thin piece of wood around here?"
"Let me go check in the storage room." The clerk disappeared and returned about five minutes later with a square piece of wood. "Will this work?"
"Yeah, thanks. Thaddeus, could you come help me? You keep pressure on the pot, and I'll slide this piece of wood under it. Then I should be able to pick him up." Kid did as Heyes asked and a few painstaking minutes later, Heyes was holding Leroy under the pot on top of the wood. He and Kid looked at each other, then Heyes turned toward the clerk. "Now. I'm sure we can come to an agreement about the no pets rule!" He gave his most convincing smile while Kid held up five dollars.
ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ
After a frantic night of chasing and listening to little squirrel feet fidget about in a box, the two ex-outlaws stood at the train station waiting to board. A boy about the age of thirteen saw the box moving side to side as Heyes held it down by his side. "What's in the box mister?"
"Aggravation...," Kid said before Heyes could reply. Heyes just grinned as the boy walked away confused.
"ALL ABOOOOARD!"
The two cousins stepped up into one of the train cars and made their way to the back. "Heyes, why didn't you put the rat in the baggage car? Didn't you have enough excitement from that critter last night?"
"Kid. McCreedy wants this 'squirrel' to make it safely to Kansas City. You've seen how some of the cargo's treated in the baggage cars. We can't take that chance." Heyes set the box beside him on the seat across from Kid.
"Well, Leroy can keep you company for a while. I'm gonna try to catch up on the sleep I missed last night thanks to you two." Kid pulled his brown hat down over his eyes as the train lurched forward. Heyes decided to catch up on his reading and got comfy with his book.
He'd read about thirty minutes when his eyelids started getting heavy. Closing his book, he put it back in his saddlebag and settled down to take a quick nap. Kid was already softly snoring on the seat across from him. Heyes checked on Leroy once more, then closed his eyes. Five minutes later, he was softly snoring as well.
After a couple of hours, Kid woke up. He didn't want to wake up Heyes, so he quietly got up to go get a sandwich in the dining car. Upon reaching it, he situated himself at one of the tables and ordered his food and a cup of coffee. The only other people in the car was a mother and child. Kid tipped his hat to them when they looked his way. His lunch arrived a few minutes later and he hungrily dove in. He couldn't help but overhear the conversation between the small family a couple tables in front of him. At one point, what he heard made him almost choke on what he had in his mouth. He quickly got up and went up to the two. Tipping his hat once more, he asked the lady, "Excuse me ma'am. I couldn't help but overhear part of what your daughter just said."
"I'm sorry sir. My daughter has a tendency to talk louder than necessary. It won't happen again."
"Oh no ma'am. I wasn't complainin'. I was just wonderin' what she just said about seein' an animal on board."
"Yeah! Did you see it too?" The little girl got excited at a chance to prove to her mother she wasn't seeing things.
"Well, I'm not sure sweetie. What did it look like?" Kid was starting to get a bad feeling.
"I saw it right before we came in here to eat! We were sittin' in our seats and across the aisle, I saw a white tail run by on the floor! It was a big fuzzy tail, like a squirrel! I got down to try to see it some more, but Momma made me get up afore I got dirty."
Kid remembered seeing the couple when he boarded the train. They were seated in the same car as he and Heyes. "Thank you ma'am!" He then took off in a hurry back to Heyes.
Reentering the passenger car, he shut the door and saw Heyes still out cold. He went over, bent down, and examined Leroy's box. The top looked fine. Maybe it was just the girl's imagination. Then he turned the box to look at all the sides. When he got to the side that had been facing away from Heyes, his heart sank. He grabbed Heyes on the arm and commenced to shaking him. "Hey...Joshua! Wake up!" Heyes groggily opened his eyes.
"What's wrong? We there already?"
"No, we ain't there yet. But we do have a BIG problem."
At this, Heyes sat straight up. "What is it? Somebody recognize us?"
"No. But somethin' has got out AGAIN!" Kid pointed to the side of the box where Leroy had chewed open one of the airholes wide enough to let him squeeze through.
"Oh Lord! When did that happen!"
"I don't know Heyes! I was ASLEEP!" The few passengers in the car looked back at Kid's raised voice.
"Sorry!" Heyes smiled. "Well, he has to be in here. We'll just have to catch him again."
"How about we just shoot him and eat him! That squirrel's better at escaping than you are." That earned Kid an angry outlaw leader look. "I'm beginnin' to think this ain't worth five hundred dollars."
"Aw Kid. We'll get him back. C'mon." They both started searching the passenger car for the furry escapee. Heyes took one side, Curry the other. The only few people in the car at the present time were sitting near the front. "At least its not a very big area he escaped into this time." Heyes attempted to lighten the mood.
"That doesn't make it any better Joshua." Kid had about reached his wit's end on this particular job. He bent down to look under the seats. "Well, I don't see anything back here. He must be towards the front." At that moment, a scream came from the front of the car.
"I think you're right." Heyes hurried to the front. "Something wrong ma'am?"
"YES! A big white rat just tried to crawl up my leg! THAT'S what's wrong!"
"Did you see where it went?"
"NO! Just catch it!"
"I'm working on it ma'am. If you'll excuse me..." Heyes then bent down where the woman was sitting to try to see where Leroy went. This didn't go over well with the female passenger. Apparently, she thought Heyes was trying to sneak a peek under her dress.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING! I told you it was gone you pervert!" This tirade was followed by her purse coming down repeatedly on Heyes' back.
"I'M JUST TRYING TO SEE WHERE IT WENT!" Heyes yelled back trying to get out of the woman's reach.
"I bet you were," the woman said sarcastically, straightening her dress.
Heyes manuevered out of the lady's line of fire to hear laughter from the back. "SHUT UP THADDEUS!" He started to bend down again, after he shot the lady a look to make sure she wasn't reloading her purse. "I SEE HIM! He's headed towards you." By now, all the passengers were enjoying the show. Heyes even heard a couple bets being placed on whether they would catch it or not.
Kid prepared himself. "What side's he on?"
"The right, near the edge of the aisle."
Kid had no idea what to use to try and catch him. He finally just took his vest off and held it up, ready to pounce. Leroy ran up to within a couple of feet of him and stopped. "Where's he at?"
"He's stopped, just in front of you under the last seat." Stealthily, Curry moved forward an inch at a time. He was about to make his move when Leroy sprinted out between his legs.
"He's coming straight up the aisle!" Heyes saw it at the same time Kid did. He jerked his hat off and dove towards the squirrel. Kid also had dove for it. They collided in the center, to the cheers and laughter of the other passengers. "I didn't get him, did you?" Kid asked, afraid to move.
"I don't know." Heyes pushed out from under his cousin and softly pressed down on his hat. He felt a lump moving around. "Yeah!" At this, cheers and groans came from their audience, depending on which side they had bet on. Kid got up and helped Heyes pick his hat and captive up. Heyes held his hat shut while the box was readied.
"What'll we do about that hole he made bigger?" Kid asked surveying the damage.
"We'll have to plug it with something."
"With what?"
"I don't know. Use a pair of your socks. He for sure won't go near that."
"Not funny Heyes." Kid gave him the look, then reached around his neck.
"What are you doing! This ain't no time to get sentimental!"
"Will you shut up. I'm taking your bandana off. Then I'm gonna fold it with one of mine 'til its big enough to stick securely in that hole." Heyes held still while Kid worked. In a couple of minutes, the hole was successfully plugged. "Alright, hand me your hat and I'll dump him in." Heyes did so carefully and a few seconds later, Leroy was once again imprisoned. Kid stood there with a scowl on his face, but all of a sudden, it turned into a smile.
"What cheered you up so quick?" Heyes asked suspiciously.
"Leroy left you a present in your hat!" Kid chuckled as he handed Heyes' defiled hat back to him.
ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ
The rest of the train ride was pretty uneventful. Finally, they arrived at the Kansas City depot. "What's this guy's name again we're supposed to meet?" Kid asked stretching his cramped legs.
"Georgy O'Connell." Heyes was busy surveying the boarding platform for anyone that looked like they might work at a zoo. At the far end of the platform, someone was waving. "Maybe that's him down there." They walked towards the waving figure. Kid was relieved when he saw the man was wearing a tan uniform.
"Are you Joshua Smith and Thaddeus Jones?" the man asked running up to them.
"Yeah. You Georgy O'Connell?"
"I sure am! Is this what I think it is?" He indicated the box.
"Yes, it most certainly is! This is Leroy. Here!" Kid took the box from Heyes and thrust it at O'Connell. "Good riddance to him!"
"I can't thank you enough for bringing him out here to me!"
"Well, you could start by paying us," Heyes smiled.
"Yes, yes, of course!" Georgy took out a stuffed envelope and handed it over. "This is worth every penny!" Heyes took the envelope, glanced at it, then they both shook Georgy's hand. "Thanks again!"
ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ ASJ
Later that night, in a Kansas City hotel room, two ex-outlaws tried to relax. "That was an interesting trip," Heyes said casually, flipping through a book.
"Yes it was. Let's never speak of it again."
"You know, if these zoo people pay money for animals, maybe we ought to go into the trapping business."
Kid gazed up from his gun cleaning and shot Heyes a look that would've made a normal man run away screaming. "No Heyes. If we want to keep tryin' for amnesty, we better not...because I would end up shootin' you." Heyes just grinned at him.
They were both quiet for a few minutes. Then there was a knock at the door. They looked at each other. "You expectin' company?" Heyes shook his head no. "Who's there?"
"I'm the desk clerk from downstairs. I have a telegraph for you."
Heyes got up, opened the door and took the message. "Thanks." He read it on his way back over to the bed.
"Well...what's it say?"
"Says, 'dear Smith and Jones. Got news that you made the delivery. When you get back west, look me up. I have another job you can do for me, easy job. Big Mac.'"
"NO Heyes. We are NOT doin' another job for McCreedy!"
"But he said its easy. Wouldn't hurt to just see what it is." Kid put his gun down, stood up, and walked towards Heyes.
"That's what you said before we 'took' this one."
"Now Kid. No need to get upset. I mean, really, what could it hurt?"
And then, hitting Heyes' squarely on his mouth, Kid replied, "It could hurt YOU!"
(A/N-There really is a town named Hell For Certain in Kentucky.)
Home 
